Fed up with drinking every night

[Winter20245]

I have been drinking a bottle of wine every night for ages. I am fed up with thinking about wine. Im a single parent and its now more of a habit for me. I have started walking every day minimum of 7k and loving it, just find the evenings so hard.
I am starting a new job 2nd sept, really excited for the change, its going to be a massive change for me and DD, working all year round.
Does anyone have any tips please x

So...stop drinking every night then?

That’s a LOT of booze. Have you tried to stop before? You may well need some help to stop.

Thank you both, I realise that is a lot hence why I have asked, so thank you for your helpful comment!
Ive read far worse on here.
I am wanting to stop yes. I want to fill my evenings with calm, I like to crochet and read.
I am stuck in my ways and want to change and was simply asking for help!

I think these posters have perhaps missed which board you've posted on OP. Unhelpful replies

Do you think you could start with dropping a night or two, replacing the wine with something else nice? My favourite soft drink is San Pellegrino Limonata. I LOVE wine, but on occasion I either can't or don't want to drink (often right now as I'm breastfeeding) then a cold Limonata with ice is a 'treat' substitute in a way that water or squash or Fanta just doesn't hit.

Once you've had a few of those mornings where you wake up clear headed and proud of yourself hopefully it will inspire you to want more of them x

that has to be over £50 on wine a week, £2500 a year! What could you and dd do with that money?

Hi there. You’re in good company here 💛 I am new to this group but if you post in the thread below there are some wonderful people with really helpful information:
‘https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcoholsupport/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?reply=137495501’

I drink at weekends and it’s been creeping up to an unacceptable level and sometimes I have no off switch. I’ve done AF stints before and I know how good it feels to not drink, but for some reason I always end up thinking I can moderate. This leads to crippling anxiety and low self esteem, weight gain, lack of motivation & so today I took action and rang my Gp and asked for help and I’m so glad I did now, I’m being referred for CBT and counselling. I feel with taking therapy I will address the issue of why I drink and break the habit.

Have you thought about trying AF drinks in the evening instead? There are some brilliant ones on the market. Also start listening to Andy Ramage podcasts and reading quit lit.

well done reaching out for help in here too ✨

Use the crochet as much as you can as a distraction. A challenging pattern? Make a ‘sobriety’ granny square blanket so you can visually see something physical and beautiful for the nights you didn’t drink then you can snuggle up and read in it!

Thank you for your support! I was thinking I had posted in a wrong chat as thought people were supportive!
I think alcohol free nights are what to aim for and crochet and get early night.
I am trying to improve my fitness and have done so well the past week
x

It's hard, I was drinking nearly a bottle a night but stopped around 5 months ago. Started listening to sober podcasts and following AF and sober curious Instagram pages. Didn't plan to stop but realised I can't just have one and my anxiety was getting out of control. Good luck

I was doing this for ages, well done for realising you want to cut down. It's really hard.

I found my tolerance had crept up so fast I would have a glass and easily finish the bottle over the course of a night - a glass after work, glass cooking dinner, glass with dinner, then hardly any left so may as well finish it (/open another).

Like you, decided enough was enough. There are some good apps you can use to cut down, and books.

What worked for me was - working out the #of bottles I was having a week and cutting that down each week by more and more... I would have Mon-Weds "dry" to get it out of the way but actually started to feel good and drank less on drinking days.

Also not for everyone but when I cut down to pretty much nothing I found alcohol free wine helped to start with while I broke the habit of always having a wine. Wednesdays Domaigne or Not Guilty (red / white / rose) were surprisingly good substitutes. Now I don't need to any more as I'm used to not drinking so just have a squash or a tea.

Good luck and enjoy that fresh feeling in the mornings!!!

@Winter20245 someone linked my thread above and you will be welcomed with open arms! We have a few new joiners recently, the summer holidays seem to be a time for change for a lot of people.
Will post properly later (just heading out the door) but saw your thread and the unhelpful comments at the start and needed to comment. Please don’t let that put you off. There are some great communities here with a few long running threads which offer help and support without the judgement.
A few on my thread are trying to do an alcohol free August so it’s fairly active at the moment. Please do take a look, I’m sure there will be lots of stories you can relate to.

Oh and you aren’t the only person in the world to have fallen into the habit of wine every night!

Try reading some of the quit lit such as
This Naked Mind
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
The Sober Diaries

Just don’t buy the wine and maybe listen to One for the Road podcast. Or look at One Year No Beer.
Good luck!

I hear you, this was me! I started having 1 night a week off. Setting certain days a week to be AF, got down to a Thurs, Fri & Sat. Once I had done that I set a savings account up in my bank and every AF night I had I would transfer the price of a bottle of wine. Pick yourself an expensive pair of shoes or something to wear, designer, expensive, something that you would not normally allow yourself to buy - you said you are starting a new job, maybe something for that. Or you said you like walking, you could save up and take yourself off on a walking holiday.

Yeah. Just not drinking and banishing the wine witch is so much easier than drinking now and again.

Just marking my place if you don’t mind OP. I find evenings really boring without wine. I wish I didn’t, but I do, I know I need to massively cut down and am hoping to start working on it. I’ve pledged to do Mon-thurs this week AF and it’s fine I can do it but I hate the way I crave wine and am sort of waiting for the evening where I can have it again. Going to try the suggestion of saving the money from a bottle of wine (even though I’m mostly just drinking the £5-6 Aldi offerings 🤣)

My drinking had crept up again to the point it was at least a bottle of wine most nights. I've found the support thread already mentioned helpful plus I've downloaded an NHS drink watch app. I started with not drinking 3 nights per week and have recently increased that to 4 nights. I'm also trying to be more mindful about my drinking and having a glass of water every 2 glasses of wine. Don't beat yourself up and well done for recognising you have a problem. Just start with small steps and make them a habit. Good luck!

I go to bed early Sunday to Thursday nights that way I'm getting amazing rest and avoiding alcohol.

Could you buy half bottles to start cutting down? Or swap it out with alcohol free wine (some of them are surprisingly good these days).

Not having it in the house is the only option - and delete any delivery apps.

You could also just buy one of those tiny bottles to have in the evening for a week so you still get a taste so it's not too much of a transition, then none at alll the next week.

Have a plan of how to spend your evening- if you don't relax and you spend it tidying up and then do a bit of stretch yoga and a long shower qnd hair wash and then get into bed with a book you don't have a lonely evening looking for a drink.

I also find filling my fridge with alternatives like Sprite Zero helps x

also you will feel and look so much bigger weight will drop off you saving all these calories!

It soon adds up, i gave up smoking at the same time about 7 weeks ago and I have saved £700 😯definitely given me the drive I need seeing the money mount up!

Hi @Winter20245 I was in a similar position to you and am finding a lot of support on another thread here.

73 days AF now and so many brilliant longer term sober women on there to help.

@funnyoldonion sobriety crochet blanket is a FABULOUS idea. Going to dig out my yarn and a pattern book. A single square a night will be eminently doable!

As someone who is now 1700 days AF I can't recommend it enough.
Never try to moderate.. it burns energy and you go back to previous levels eventually
Look at support best book is unexpected joy of sober (is amazing) by Catherine Gray and look for Belle Robertsons 100 day challenge
You get your life back and £5000 a year payrise. I have lots of tips but start with those two

Read these 2 books they are fab and will really help you to change your mindset. A couple of chapters a day will really empower you.

The alcohol experiment by Annie Grace.
The unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine Grey.

I had them both as audiobooks as they have nice voices!