An unexpected Day 1 of sobriety

[freshstart321]

I was browsing on here this morning and read a thread that someone had started asking about the positives of not drinking. Someone on the thread recommended the book 'The Sober Diaries'. I downloaded it onto my Kindle.

Reading the book is almost like reading about myself. There are so many moments where I think 'that's me'. I've just read the part where she mentioned that the tooth fairy had been late a few times due to drinking the night before. The last time my youngest's tooth came out, only a few weeks ago, I drunk a bottle of wine once the children were in bed then went to bed myself and the tooth fairy didn't arrive. My son found it funny that she was late, but I was mortified.

It's time I stopped drinking. Properly. Not just had a couple of days off and then opened a bottle of wine with food on a Thursday evening because it was almost the weekend and then proceeded to drink for the next 4 or 5 days but then feel good due to my 2 days off.

The questions the author asks in the book about whether she is an alcoholic because she doesn't drink in the morning, she can go a few days without, etc etc all ring so true to me. I am definitely very dependent on alcohol.

100 days from today I am taking my children on holiday (I am a single parent). My aim is to reach the airport without having touched a drop of alcohol from today. 100 days alcohol free. I also hope it will help with the many pounds I've gained, with my anxiety and depression, with my awful sleep and so many other things.

Day 1 of freedom.....here we go

Good luck, OP.

Thank you for all those lovely messages. I am really craving food/sugar today. It's 10:30 and I'm munching through chocolates! I'm just going to go with it over the weekend if it means not touching alcohol and be more mindful of what I eat next week.

Well done to everyone on their different stages of sobriety, reading your messages is so inspirational.

Good plan op.

Something I always found helpful was saying to myself, 'Yes a drink now would be lovely but will I be pleased or disappointed in the morning that I drank last night?' I knew I'd always be disappointed so it stopped me.

Also I always thought 'I'm not drinking today. I can see how I feel about drinking tomorrow, tomorrow.' Felt less intimidating than saying I'd never drink again.

After reading some quit lit I also thought of alcohol more of a poisonous drug and started calling it 'heroin' in my head. 'Should I take some heroin tonight? No, that would be mental.' Bit weird but worked for me.

And yes, eat delicious food, bake some lovely snacks. Enjoy feeling good in the morning

@Nomechange1

Taking it one day at a time instead of the big scary 'I'm never drinking again' is definitely the way forward. It feels far more manageable. Also I like the idea of thinking about alcohol as poison. That is coming across strongly in one of the books I'm reading.

Day 4 is almost done. I'm confident that tonight won't be an issue as I have zero thoughts about drinking, have had a pretty good day, and am planning a relaxing evening planning our summer holiday.

Today has been good because my stomach issues seem to have disappeared and also for the first time this week I haven't fallen asleep during the day and felt completely shattered. I have also been a bit more productive whilst working and doing household chores. It's been a bit of an emotional one though, I have either been sobbing over nothing or happily singing to myself. There has been no inbetween.

I used to drink wine pretty much every night and would regularly polish off a whole bottle (sometimes more). I loved real ale too and could sink several pints and did so for years. I hit a similar turning point during Covid and just decided to stop. I don't know or can't remember, what triggered it, but I've not gone back to drinking like that since. I've found zero alcohol Peroni or Heineken is great as I'm not keen on sweet drinks, so I go for that when I'm out anywhere. I do still have the odd wine or beer from time to time, but no longer crave it like I used to and mostly just don't fancy it. I think you'll be absolutely fine and be surprised how quickly you adapt, the mindset change in my experience is key.

Day 6 complete. I've been surprised by how easy I have found it. I have eaten too much (and enjoyed every mouthful) but haven't touched a drop of alcohol. The best thing was that on Friday night I made a very last minute decision to jump in the car to see the Northern Lights. I couldn't tell you the last time I didn't have a drink on a Friday night so wouldn't have been able to do it if the lights had been any other Friday night this year. It almost feels like a little reward for staying sober.

I have a night out for a curry next weekend so that will be a challenge as I always have lager with a curry. I will manage it though!

Well done OP.
Maybe the northern lights were a gift from the universe to spur you on.

What a great thread, well done, OP ⚡️. Here’s to many more AF days.

Entering week 8

I pray I never drink again

The depression and the anxiety

I could easily have 6-7 g n ts per night and no hangover

I can't just do one drink here and there

Drinking to block out abusive ex

He's been gone 6 years

It was time for me to wise up

Well done OP

YOI GOT THIS XXXXX

Oh OP, I know the joy of being sober and jumping in the car! Such a pleasure.
Anxiety.... This will get so much better as your sober 100 days goes by. 😃

Well done op
So you're hitting a week now? Great stuff.

The curry will be fine. I find meals at restaurants a bit easier than at the pub. Maybe call ahead and see if they do any af drinks? I always check so I can 'prepare'.

Glad you got to enjoy the lights!

Great work, OP. I also love being able to drive anywhere at any time - it's just freedom, isn't it.

@thisisasurvivor 8 weeks is fantastic. You are a strong person. How are you doing?

Ok I'm not much of a drinker but I'm a snacker. Reading that his thread I'd just like to say you all should be very proud of yourself's, it's so easy to get into a routine of unhealthy habits and not realise it. Trying to break that habit takes a lot of strength good luck to all of you.

Thank you, @Thatwouldbeme

I'm hoping less alcohol leads to less snacks. Too!

I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve. I wish I'd stopped sooner, but being the best mum I can is/ was my main goal too.

The first month (at least!) don't worry about what you eat too much, you can't do everything at once, and you will get sugar cravings. So just indulge yourself!

I found sober instagram massively helpful in the early days.

You will get some real lows and difficult emotions. You just have to go through them. You won't have something to numb them with. You just have to go through them (repeat to yourself!)

You also may feel bored at times (in the beginning). Again, nothing wrong with it. Just go with it. Always focus on the next morning and how you want to feel when you wake up.

People might judge you. Own it. Say confidently how great you feel (even if you don't yet).

Good luck to you and everyone else. I really don't think I will ever drink again. Soon you will replace the goal of being sober with something new and exciting for you, a passion, a different goal (career, health, hobby etc) that you never thought possible. It could be anything, but your focus won't be alcohol anymore. When you feel like you're struggling think about that.

To begin with it's just getting through each day. You can do it!

Ps. Generally the people who judge you are really judging themselves (as I'm sure we can all speak from experience, I used to too)

Alcohol beer is really good these days. I like moretti, peroni and corona more than becks (claire Pooley talked about her af beers in her book).

Sad I missed the northern lights. I was sober but asleep / unaware

Congratulations on being AF since New Years Eve, @whereaw, that's very impressive.

What was the motivator for you to stop on that day, if it's ok to ask?

@NextPhaseOfLife mainly due to my partner who was a very heavy drinker, things were awful over Christmas and for a long time really. told him he had to stop drinking or leave. I decided I would quit too.

My drinking was much less problematic, but looking back it wasn't good and did me no favours. For me it stemmed from a lack of confidence as a teen, wanting to fit in, and eventually to being a way to numb things really.

We both haven't had a drink since. To be honest, I never would have imagined to be here (with him) in my wildest dreams this time last year.

@thisisasurvivor well done for starting week 8. That's a massive achievement!

@Nomechange1 good plan checking for af beers at the Indian restaurant before going. If I have it in my head that it is what I'll drink, I should be fine.

@whereaw not having had a drink since New Year's Eve is brilliant. Thank you for all your advice. I've started following a few sober instagram pages which are great.

I have just got into bed and marked day 7 off my app. I don't have a clue when I last had 7 days in a row without alcohol. My mood has been lower today, and I've had a horrible headache on one side of my forehead since yesterday afternoon that painkillers aren't touching. I think these are more to do with other things going on in my life though rather than not drinking. However, low days for me are usually when I open the bottle of wine earlier so I'm so pleased I haven't touched a drop, and not really wanted to either.

That's a brilliant achievement for you both @whereaw

Sounds like you've really made some major life changes - you're a very strong person.

Did anyone find they had very vivid dreams when they stopped drinking? I am having extremely vivid dreams every night!!

I found jellybeans worked as a distraction and little sugar hit. Sounds so childish but you can distract yourself working out the flavour.

Yes to vivid dreams whenever I get to the two week mark.
the sober diaries has always been a massive inspiration to me.
well done on your journey