Night 1 - done

[NoWayProvenceRose]

Hi!

Ive always been an avid drinker since turning 18. I gave up for pregnancy, but aside from that, it’s fair to say, I’ve been a committed boozer (and a good one!) and on the surface I manage a senior full time job and being a diligent parent. Don’t get me wrong there have been blips along the way!

Since Covid, it’s got out of control. I’m drinking every night. Sometimes two bottles of wine which is shocking. In general I pass out and drag myself up each morning to the laptop. My weight is out of control (I’ve put on 3 stone since covid and I wasn’t able exactly the slimmest before then). I dread to think of the damage I’ve done to my body, which is begging to show discomfort and niggly pains in what is my liver/pancreas. And let’s not talk about facial redness or the waste of money - a round at the pub for my husband and I is over £20 and we go most nights for a few and then continue drinking at home whilst preparing a meal for the family.

So I had a heart to heart with the husband (who I guess is my drinking buddy as well as husband) and we are giving it up. We have had many attempts at cutting down, only drinking certain days, only drinking when we go out (that brought around a great social life 😜), but all have failed.

So yesterday, I armed the household with high strength vitamins, soft drinks and a couple of new books.

Im not sure whether it was silly to go cold turkey, but the idea of drinking another day when I had made a resolve to quit felt wrong. It took me about an hour to fall asleep, I then got 4 hours kip, changed a very wet and sodden sheet and then went back to sleep for another 4. So first night done! Haven’t had a drink in 41 hours. I feel surprisingly ok. Going to take a long walk and maybe go for a swim.

I guess I’m excited but also scared for the road ahead. I know what I’m like. I can see myself in 2 weeks time telling myself; you managed to not drink, you have reset yourself, your future can be more moderate. But I know it can’t.

Id love some support and coping mechanisms to ensure success. I want to see my children grow up, I want to be a good role model and I want to take unmedicated joy in the life I have!

thanks for reading :)

Well done OP! I know how hard it is. I recently wrote my own thread on here titled Nothing Works if you want to have a read through it, it's been very helpful.

I'm on Day 2. I won't drink today with you

Well done on making the decision, OP.

It can only be worth it for you and your family.

I'm not an expert so hopefully more knowledgeable people may come along - are you getting any support?

Well done

I'm here too. I'm on day 5, after a week long binge/excellent time. My drinking has become problematic and I'm hiding how much I drink.
I've lost 2 cousins and a colleague in the last 3 years to alcohol and I'm seeing myself heading down that path.
5 days is the longest I've not drank in years.
Making it past the bank holiday is an achievement for me.
Stick with it OP, one day at a time.
In bed with a hot chocolate now.

Thankyou! I have read through it and my word it makes me want to succeed! I hope you find day 2 easy and are taking care of yourself. I’m walking and reading and enjoying long baths!

Morning, @NoWayProvenceRose - hope last night was ok xx

Day one for me. Back on my sober app and just posted ... I was number 765 ... wish booze never invented

Sorry to hear that, @halfthesun

Are you ok? Well done on getting back on Day 1 💕

@NoWayProvenceRose well done, and a good plan to stock up on vitamins and treats.
I did say one yesterday, and hopefully will get through tonight. I read Clare Pooley's book 'The Sober Diaries ' and found it helpful.

@NextPhaseOfLife thank you for asking ... fine but exhausted with reliance on booze. Must stop.

@halfthesun

I can imagine, it can feel relentless, can't it..

I'm only a couple of weeks in so have no conception of being AF for more than two years. That seems magical.

I haven't got any experience and don't want to patronise. I hope you're ok. Do you have what you need to get back on track?

This is really excellent OP, well done to you both.
Only small bit of advice I would give is don't become co-dependent on each other to not drink. If you start up drinking unexpectedly, it will have an impact on him and vice-versa.
Get into evening pass times that you both can do to fill up the evenings and weekends.
Also (if finances allow) go away for an alcohol free weekend or holiday. You'll see the difference and it will help with the longer term goal of staying away from it.

@NoWayProvenceRose - how's today been?

ok, so I’m not sure how to quote, so I may have responded to completely incorrect poster. So far so good. Slightly sore head today, but nothing too arduous. Had a couple of nice walks in sunshine and went out for a bit of dinner with the family at a little French restaurant with a Coke Zero. All good and a better family vibe than normal (albeit with the usual kids bickering). So far so good. I think when the novelty wears off, it might get challenging!

I hope everyone else is doing ok and managing to get some sunshine and vitamin D to raise their spirits and resolve!!

That's fantastic, @NoWayProvenceRose

Well done!!!

Are you listening to any podcasts or using any apps for support?

@NextPhaseOfLife I’ve read a couple of books over the last few days - the sober diaries I really enjoyed, very relatable. Also enjoyed the unexpected joy of being sober. I’m going to enjoy another book that isn’t alcohol related this week and perhaps crack onto a new one at the weekend when resolve is slipping!

to the poster who suggested ensuring not codependent with the husband - that’s valuable advice and certainly food for thought!

@Talulah98 Well done! Are you feeling good? I changed my sheets yesterday and really enjoyed crawling into bed, albeit my actual sleep was a bit fractured. I’m having some pukka detox tea tonight!

Well done OP. Day 14 for me!

@strugglinguphill 14 days - nice! Are you finding it easy or is it ups a downs? Are you getting any support or do you have a steely determination of your own?

@NoWayProvenceRose Thank you! I slept but not until about 2 am, and then I woke up about 5. I only ever want a drink at night, so I did get some cravings, but felt better in the morning. No hangover, just a bit tired.
I cleaned the shower room and did a bit of shopping.
I hope the tea works for you. I am taking Kalms tonight. They haven't done much in the past, but anything's worth a try.

I’ve done it on my own pretty much, was told to cut down gradually but I can’t do that! I’m all or nothing so just went cold turkey! I’ve been put on meds which don’t mix well with alcohol so it’s forced me into it…..in a good way!

@strugglinguphill Can I ask what meds your taking? (Of course don't need to answer).

Say for example I'm in pain and I'll take two cocodamol there's no chance in hell I'll drink because I'm convinced it'll kill me.

I wondered if there was a non-opiate based option I could take long term that'll keep me away from alcohol.

I’m not sure if there is anything long term, are you getting any support?

I'm on quetiapine.

@strugglinguphill Thanks for responding.

I'm doing ok on my own - I've got a coach and I'm feeling positive. But thank you.

I was on quetiapine for years and yes I agree - it's not great with alcohol. Although back in my reckless days I mixed it, and well, it's not fun. I hope you're ok.

I'm considering some Kalms or herbal sleep aids possibly.

That’s good, well done. It’s certainly a hard path to conquer!

it’s early days and things are still a bit tricky, just taking each day at a time