Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

Morning all and welcome @SadMama87. Sorry to hear of your situation but well done for taking that first step. You’ll get lots of support on this thread.

Hi also to @BoilingHotand50something whose recent post I missed previously. Day 270 is amazing - good luck on your holiday, you’ve got this!

Thank you both for your kind words. I hope I’m safe.

He’s never been violent, just him raising his voice is scary as he’s a very large man and I’m quite small compared.

I’m just so heartbroken. Have to pull it together for the children but allowing myself the space to feel this for the time being.

Welcome @SadMama87 that first step is one of the hardest. Lots of lovely people here who understand.

@CoffeeLover90 - try to remember this feeling as you step into the weekend.

You got me looking at treadmills last night @AFmammaG - half term has meant I'm not in charge of walking the dog and my step count has dropped through the floor.

Off out with my son to the zoo today - have taken the day off specially and Im very much looking forward to my it. My daughters tend to get more 1 on 1 time with me

Chocolate has been my treat to myself over the past five months - but I'm now getting to the point that it's become another crutch. I encourage you all to enjoy it - it really helped me get past the booze habit - I've decided I'm going to try June without it. See what happens...

@SadMama87 I can't imagine how hard it must be when in the presence of a drinker. You're right, kids deserve at least one happy, healthy parent. My sons dad was an abusive alcoholic. Now there's just me and little one. You'd think I'd know better but it does get hold of you without realising. It can be a way to escape. I hope you don't put yourself down for that, you've done amazing to keep off it for 3 years total.

My two daughter's dad was an alcoholic and I left him because of that (and the associated lying that went with it) - I didn't used to drink much at all. Only on nights out.

After my third with my lovely, barely drinking husband, it crept in. Like you, without realising. It was a problem for me, not anyone else - but I still wanted to stop/take a break/whatever it is that I'm doing right now!!!

@Thelittlestranger I'm going back to just once a week, a Saturday, as it didn't effect me then. I'll cut down to twice a month, then monthly by autumn.
Tonight will be day 5. The first fresh Friday for around 7 months. And all I can think of is the spaghetti bolognaise I'm making for tea!

If I find I'm back to square one from Saturday, I'll abstain.

I'm 3 weeks today and just had the most overwhelming urge to get alcohol out of nowhere, not just a nagging thought but a literal going and getting my keys and bag to go to the car urge. I managed to stop myself but I don't get how I've gone three weeks including some social events and yet the urge has happened today when I have things planned in the morning, I'm on my own so no social reasons etc, the sun isn't even out!! Wtf. It's scared me tbh as I thought I was getting a handle on this.

@Shiningout You stopped yourself though. You've got this!

Welcome @SadMama87, I hope you are ok tonight. Well done for making that decision. It’s not easy and I agree with those saying be kind to yourself. I know your children are your motivation but also make sure you look after yourself. It won’t be long before you start to feel real benefits. Physically, mentally, financially… it’s all positives.
I’m out of action with an awful migraine today so going to bed early. Looking forward to the 1st day of the month tomorrow. My favourite time. A fresh start and a clean slate. Determined I will get through June dry.

Trying again. Today is Day 3. Are stomach cramps a thing?

@IncognitoUsername its not something I’ve experienced. Are they constant? Getting worse? Well done on day 3.

Nah ive fucked it. Got a 4 pack of beer. All that effort for 3 weeks down the pan.

A bit better today. Yesterday was dreadful.

Just a blip. Start again tomorrow. 3 weeks is good going.
This is why I'm moderating instead. Or I'd feel like I'd let myself down.

I'd thought I had IBS for the last couple of months. Cramps and other symptoms. But day 5 today and everything has calmed. So I believe it is linked, personally.
Would check in with GP if it keeps happening though.

Nothing is lost at all. You have an amazing 3 weeks under your belt and the ability to make tomorrow, and the days after, dry, if you choose.

I am sitting here hoodied up and wondering where tf summer is! I have worked out, about to eat a lot of cheese and also wondering whether to have AF beer.

Hope you feel better soon!

Thank you. I'm starting to question whether I'm making it harder trying to abstain completely tbh.

Thank you x

You haven't fucked it, @Shiningout

It's all a learning experience. So you've drunk 1 day out of 21. How many would you have drunk if not stopping/cutting back?

Don't be oblivious to your reasons. If you don't like the way your life is when you drink, use this as insight and don't let a blip turn into a slide.

If I hadn't cut back I'd be drinking about 4 times a week so yeah I've probably swerved 12 drinking sessions so far. Trying to see the positives and not spiral into despair and self loathing.

@Shiningout

Have you read Alcohol Explained or anything like it? It gives some really good insight into urges and how our brains work,

You are doing SO well, it's really impressive. I think will power alone makes it really hard though. Life feels like you're deprived (at least mine did on previous attempts).

amzn.eu/d/bN4PGFt

Yeah I have, also half way through the naked mind. But yes you're so right. I do feel like I'm missing out and withholding something good, even knowing the truth about alcohol. I honestly just don't know if I can do it.

So you could have drank 12 times but drank once.
You could have had 48 beers but you've had 4.
You've been clear for 3 weeks.
You're doing better than you think.

Thank you, I was scared to post tbh and so ashamed but I'm glad I did.