Tips for the first few weeks alcohol free

[Ilovewineitdoesntlovemeback]

I've been drinking 5ish bottles of wine a week.

I'm usually alcohol free on Sun/Mon then 3/4 of a bottle Tue/Weds then 1 bottle a night Thrs/Fri/Sat with a bit more thrown in when I go out.

I have a life that is both stressful and boring - job that I find dull but can do around my kids, I do 90% of domestic stuff as DH has big workload and I care for my very difficult elderly parents.

Wine is one of the few things I look forward to. However my consumption has crept up recently and as I'm getting older (43) I'm feeling so many side effects.

I wake up riddled with anxiety at 3am, I've gone from being pretty attractive to having a noticibly puffy face and rosacea, I am overweight despite having a healthy diet and exercise. I've recently started with joint and muscle pains that are much worse after drinking. I have anxiety and depression that are also much worse when I drink.

On Friday I popped into a friends house and ended up drinking at least 1.5 bottles of red. I was being sick all night and have never felt so bad - it's like my body is just rejecting the booze now. The weeks before this I'd had several heavy nights and could barely get out of bed, so shaky and tired. I went on an AI holiday in Oct and felt shattered for the whole thing as was in a drinking / hangover / drinking cycle.

So I need to stop! I want to do at least 30 days AF then hopefully see the benefits to carry on. I'm on day 3 now and tbh after being so ill I'm happy not to drink but I'm not kidding myself that when the weekend rolls around it will be so easy.

Can you please tell me your tips? How did you cope in the first weeks? I don't know whether to keep making social plans or just meet friends for coffee / lunch? I'd feel Ok telling good friends I'm not drinking and why but others less so.

Also tell me when you started seeing benefits? I'm hoping I'll be leaping out of bed next week with clear skin, head and a flat stomach (hahahha)

Fill the time when you would be drinking with other things. So I listened to sober podcasts while cooking dinner and made myself a tonic water with some nice garnishes or had an AF beer. And then on the weekends, I booked to attend a class or go to the cinema with one of my dc or plan to do something early in the morning so I have to go to bed early to get up nice and fresh. Basically, just put things in the diary that don't leave you time for drinking. I avoided social things to start honestly as I couldn't be asked and didn't want to have to explain that I wasn't drinking.

As for when I started to feel the benefits. Certainly, I felt better as in less ill, skin looked better, was sleeping better, within maybe 2 weeks. I do have to say that being long-term sober now, the real benefits didn't hit until the 3 month mark. That's not to say it's not worth doing for a month, but around 100 days was a real turning point when it actually got easy. The truth is that your body will be doing a lot of detoxing and it isn't unusual to feel worse initially rather than better while your body is recovering. Don't let that put you off though. I haven't had a drink in over 10 months now and I do not miss it!

Just focus on not drinking. By this I mean don’t try and go on a massive health kick, do loads of exercise etc etc at the same time. You’ll probably want to do these things later, but make not drinking a habit and don’t overwhelm yourself with lots of other goals.
Your body will probably crave sweet things as it’s used to getting a lot of sugar in alcohol form. So don’t worry about diet. If you’ve been drinking a lot, you will lose weight even eating chocolate and biscuits.
Basically, be kind to yourself! You’re doing a great thing for your health.

All the best OP. I used to drink a similar amount to this (and was also overweight, puffy and prone to night anxiety) Now haven't drunk for 2 years and feel / look a lot better.
What worked for me was:

• focus on WHY I wanted to quit (writing it down)
• planning what I'd drink as alternatives e.g. alcohol free beer - taking my own drinks to friends' houses, having some in the fridge for the times when I fancied a glass of wine.
• not avoiding any social events - just trying to do the same ones but without drinking. I was surprised how supportive other people were.

Be careful with the sweet tooth thing, as that became a bit of an issue for me over time, even though I was successful with the alcohol abstinence.

Good luck 😀

Also, I didn't see much physical difference quickly (I did eventually) but about 2 weeks into it, someone who didn't know I'd stopped drinking commented that I looked 'like a weight had been lifted.' Thought that was interesting!

Get the try dry app on your phone. I'm on day 36 & refuse to drink even one glass of wine now as I don't want to ruin my streak

There's a handy acronym: 'HALT' - it means watch out for when you're Hungry, Lonely, Angry(or Anxious) or Tired! I'd definitely suggest having a nice non-alc drink and some nibbles at the 'witching hour' when you'd normally drink - that really takes the edge off. It's not a time to be dieting (the weight loss will come)...

I really hear you on the stress, but alcohol is just another stress on the body. You may not feel wonderful and farting rainbows at first, because early recovery is gruelling, but I promise you it will soon start to pay off with better skin, better energy, better sleep, better mood... the bloating will go...

Tell yourself that any early fatigue/grinchiness is your body recovering (because it is!) You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself!

Oh, and quit lit - fill yer boots! There's lots of resources online - you can get quite obsessed in the first few weeks. And try the Mummy Was a Secret Drinker (Clare Pooley) blog - it's also a book (I got my copy in the library).

Good luck!

You'll miss the sugar to start with so forget about weight/healthy eating and replace it with sweets or similar for the first couple of weeks to stop that craving. Your body has been used to a big sugary hit most nights.

Also, yes, really do not worry about what you eat to start. I ate a lot of biscuits, cake, I was making like a cheesecake a week to start! I still lost a stone in the first 3 months and that weight has stayed off without me doing much about it.

Similar situation here but white wine, I am on day 9.

I am still using pretty glasses and substituting wine for mock tails (AF gin & tonic with lots of lemon or lime). My beer substitute is Lucky Saint, haven’t found a drinkable white wine substitute. I don’t usually have a sweet tooth but now have a couple of squares of dark chocolate most evenings replacing the white wine sugar. I am also going to bed earlier than usual.

Thanks so much all - I've not really ever spoken about this to anyone in RL so it's great to have some advice. You really forget how much sugar is in alcohol, I'm just eating what my body tells me while it regulates.

I'm on day 4 (get me!) and last night slept through for the first time in ages, I feel so tired and groggy but guess it's just my body's way of recovering.

My skin looks worse than ever but that's just a hangover (literally) from last week.

Bought myself some nice PJs and putting them on early - also bought some nice olives / crisps to have early evening as that's when I want a drink.

Stocking up on books and box sets so I'm distracted when the kids are in bed.

Taking each day at a time as it feels really odd to think I'll never drink again but am looking forward to a weekend where I don't feel like shit.

Well done on your Day 4! You're over half a week through now! 😁

Srsly, you'll be amazed at how your skin starts to perk up and glow - but it definitely can get a bit worse before it gets better! Your body's just doing a bit of housekeeping.

Just keep drinking the water and observing excellent self-care and you will be looking better within a week or so.

Well done you too, @Sedgwick - pretty glasses and dark choccie are a couple of my favourite strategies too! 👍

I cross stitch (huge pieces for the kids) and watch box sets on my phone after the kids go to sleep. Snuggled up between them (big motivators, mine are little still) downing gallons of tea and sweet snacks. Quitting drinking is not the time to count calories. Good luck!

How are you doing today, people-who-want-to-be-sober?! Hope you're happily notching up the days, but if not, just pick yourself up and get back on the horsie! 🙂

Thanks for checking in Compash

I'm OK, not had a drink! Very tired so just going with it and having early nights and getting up as slowly as possible.

Had a bit of a tough day yesterday and would usually have reward wine but did actually feel better going to bed and watching shit TV!

I dont have much evening social stuff planned for the next few weeks which is good as that will be hard. I do have some teetotal friends but some are massive boozers!!!!

I was similar to you! I'm now about to celebrate a year tomorrow. I can say that my life is SO SO much better now - I lost loads of weight, my anxiety dropped - and what it left feels very, very different. I feel so much more in control of things. I also found a renewed interest in things that made me realise wine was the thing making my life more dull than anything else as I was stuck in such a horrible cycle. Totally relate to the holidays not being enjoyable as you get trapped in a cycle. For the first few weeks, I literally did f* all - all I did was concentrate on not drinking. I ate loads of sugar every night, binged TV and was a total layabout, all I wanted to do was get to bed sober. I recommend reading lots of quit lit (my fave was the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober) and committing to 100 days - it definitely takes longer than a month to feel better and for the alcohol to fully leave your system. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you 💘

Thanks smooze really helpful post ❤️

I'm just trying one month as a manageable thing with a plan to go longer.

Dont even feel like a drink really. Just feel so tired! Hitting the mini eggs hard.

So I'm finding this weekend hard!

Day 8 of not drinking.

Have my usual Sat of driving the kids round and shopping for my parents inbetween doing my favorite hobby of laundry.

Normally would be looking forward to opening a bottle now.

I won't but God its hard. Trying to think how much better I'll feel tomorrow.

Hopefully it'll get easier next weekend.

I drink about the same as you and did dry jan this year, after the first week it does start to get easier as you begin to break the habit. I had a very wet feb but thinking of starting for another month on Monday. Anxiety improved massively when I wasnt drinking in Jan.

Hello. How did you get in last night?

I'm using today as my day 1 of having a few weeks off. I drink about twice per week ( Fri and sat night) but it's making me miserable. I'm early 40's like you

Hi! Didn't drink last night, once I get through the 6-8 bit it's not too bad as then I'm looking forward to going to bed.

Had a lovely day out today at an art gallery and lunch that I appreciated a lot more without a headache.

The one thing I'm realising is how much alcohol disrupts sleep and how much of my low mood and random health issues is because I'm knackered. I've slept much better the last few nights and it's starting to make a difference.

Good luck to all the new non drinkers xx

You’re doing really well!

Hi OP if you like podcasts give Over the Influence a try. It's presented by BBC radio journalist Sharon Hartley and she is fab. Very down to earth. And it's lovely to hear positive happy things about being sober. I think there are a few episodes about the early part of sobriety which would definitely help. Pretty much you have to tough out the first 100 days then you turn a corner.
Good luck. Sobriety is so much better for you. It just is!

Sooo day 13!

Thursday night is my Friday night as work a 4 day week.

Would love a glass of rose. Had a mega busy week at work and DD has been ill at home so feel so much like a drink. I won't have one as determined to properly detox but feel so depeived. Will this feeling ever go away?!

I really look forward to going to bed but can't do that for the next 50 years.

Feel sorry for myself 😀

It really gets so much easier as you keep going. I'm day 47 today & it honestly doesn't occur to me to reach for a glass of wine at the weekend anymore.