Help! I need positives of a sober life to look forward to

[MalbecJunkie]

Day 6 sober, doing OK so far. My main difficulty is not using alcohol as pain relief. I have chronic pain and it was an easy way to numb the worst of it. When I look ahead I'm frightened of being able to bear it.

I need positive things (other than weight loss and a bit more cash) to keep myself motivated beyond these first few weeks.

Please give me stories of how a life free of alcohol is good, or happy, or enriching. I need to boost.

I'd join in this thread:

The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4910596-the-continuing-support-thread-for-living-alcohol-free-every-day-everyone-welcome

Every area of your life will be improved. You will look better (alcohol destroys collagen, so sober skin and hair look amazing!) and feel better - better sleep (eventually), less anxiety, more time, more energy.

I used to use alcohol as a relief from mental pain, and one thing that helped me was to think of alcohol as a painkiller with side effects. I’ve always avoided codamol because of the possible side effects, so I just tried to view alcohol in the same way.

One thought for you - how about a change of username? It can be helpful to decide upon a new identity for the sober you

Put it this way, I have never woken up the next morning and wished I had drank the night before but I used to have many many mornings waking and wishing the opposite..

My sleep is unbelievably improved, my skin is better. My motivation is better-without alcohol I make good choices about my life and wellbeing. I wake up feeling clear headed instead of anxious and miserable which was a huge issue when I drank. It hasn’t been easy and I have had moments where I’m tempted. I was a stress drinker so seeing that alcohol made my stress worse has been an eye opener. It took me a while to click though! I appreciate you’re dealing with chronic pain which I don’t have experience of but I was at a point where my body hurt and I was riddled with aches and pains. Those have resolved for me. Wishing you all the best. Sobriety is a real bonus to my quality of life.

Never again have a hangover or regret what you did the night before.

You get to save money on your shopping, nights out are cheaper and you will remember them, not drinking will annoy everyone who is drinking, you won't wake up hungover or regretting your behaviour the night before, your general health will be improved and maybe your fitness too, and you won't have to fret about driving to wherever you chose to go out or the next morning.

You feel much more alert! Ready to face the day!

Your sleep will be better
Your skin will be better
Your eyes will be clearer and brighter
It will help your blood pressure and liver function
You won't wake up wondering what the hell you did last night that you don't remember
You won't wake up with a hangover and a tongue like a catcher's glove
You won't put yourself in dangerous situations
You won't drink drive and potentially either lose your licence or kill/maim yourself or someone else

Less embarrassment.
Less time wasted being hungover and tired.
Looking and feeling better.
Get a gym routine going

I've gone from best part of a bottle a day to nil. Lost weight, sleeping like a log, clearer skin, more energy and so much more money in my purse.

Think of alcohol as poison. I feel 💯 better without it

No more feelings of dread about the night before - 'hangxiety'.

Never having to think twice before driving. I didn't drink at all for ages. Now I have the odd drink. It's such a stupid hobby.

Start reading all the quit lit:
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
The Sober Diaries
This Naked Mind
Good luck. It’s very much worth it.

Sleep. God sleep. I actually dream now as I'm entering deep sleep. Even two glasses of wine completely ruined my sleep. Actually slept through the night once or twice, too. Lost weight without trying, and also memory so much sharper.

Significantly less guilt ,more self esteem .
Have you considered cannabis for pain relief ?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4658304-fuck-im-high-normal?page=3

I have chronic pain and was using alcohol. I actually think in the longer term it was aggravating situation.
Acupuncture has been fucking amazing for me. All money I saved drinking its mouth spent improving my health.

My brain works better. Just a couple of weeks after giving up I was finally able to beat my dgd at memorama

Three years sober and this is a hard one to explain but I'll try. I am overall happier and feel so much more joy from normal things.

I think I was so used to the artificial dopamine hit of booze that normal things didn't give me the same enjoyment. Now I feel real happiness, I can feel it bubbling inside me from things I used to enjoy as a child and teen. It's honestly been the best thing I ever did and I wonder why everyone doesn't do it! But I know the early weeks are hard so hang in and well done.

No more hangovers. So much more time. No beer fear. Massive reduction in anxiety. Reduced gut issues. Able to drive anywhere at any time. Better skin. Look younger.

I'll second reading the sober diaries - and the author has since written several best selling novels - so maybe a new creative career too!

@SwimmingFree
what a lovely post, the warmth you feel radiates out of your words. It’s what I dream of, thank you.

Alcohol would strip me of motivation. You will have better sleep, you won't have to keep up the grim cycle starting the day feeling crap and having a drink to feel better then going through it again the next day. Your brain will thank you, you are doing an amazing thing for yourself.

Thank you, everyone! Excellent point, OneWildAndPrecious (great name - I love that poem too), I shall make a new user name. I kept this one to be seperate from my posts on other boards where I wasn't ready to admit my alcoholism.

Thanks for the encouragement and optimism. I do have so many activities I enjoy, so I guess by not drinking each evening I'm buying myserlf all those free hours to enjoy being creative.

I do appreciate the compassion and understanding on this board.

Oh that's bloody brilliant @MalbecJunkie well done for taking the plunge!

Its so so worth its, It's like getting your old self back. @SwimmingFree has put it perfectly

Sleeping the sleep of the innocent, long and deep and full of dreams. Waking up with no regrets. Remembering everything. Never having to second guess yourself. The butterfly feeling of looking forward to things again that I hadn't realised was missing because my brain was so screwed up by alcohol.

But yeah it takes time and sometimes you'll be your own worst enemy

The biggest hurdle is breaking the habit, ignoring the voices tempting you that it's ok now you've done enough. also addressing properly anything that that was underlying, anxiety pain etc if you need medication for these def get it. Eliminate those as excuses to go back to it.

Massively rooting for u xx

Many positives. Think of being free from being controlled by a poisonous, dangerous substance.

Discipline leads to a higher form of freedom.

I am 6 weeks sober.