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Alcohol support

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Annie Grace... What did you get from reading her material?

8 replies

hannahsnest · 28/09/2023 09:11

Just that really.
I've literally finished her book'This Naked Mind' and I'm reflecting.
I don't have a sudden urge just to stop as what I want to do really is stop Sun to Thurs and enjoy alcohol at the weekend.
What happens is if I have wine on Sunday night, I may have it again on Monday and Tuesday , out of our habit.
I've accepted that my habits are caused by pure loneliness and a dreadful single mother life .
I drink to escape my reality at that time eg asd kids, exh anger, loneliness, seeking the buzz and ultimately forgetting about my life for a few hours.
That's the raw truth.
I want to have drinks at weekends only.
Any other material you would recommend ?

OP posts:
BluebellsForest · 28/09/2023 11:21

Don't think I finished it.

I'd have a read through this thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4837512-the-continuing-support-thread-for-living-alcohol-free-everyone-welcome

I haven't been on there lately, but there was always people discussing what books/podcasts etc work. You could go right back to the first thread - lots of information and support.

BluebellsForest · 28/09/2023 11:31

Here you go: www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Even if you don't want to go totally AF, this is a great resource.

hannahsnest · 28/09/2023 12:10

Thanks so much for that response !

OP posts:
BluebellsForest · 28/09/2023 18:09

You're very welcome. 💙

SaltySeaCat · 28/09/2023 21:49

The book really resonated with me but I had already given up when I read it. I reread it last week and it’s helped me a lot. I think it’s achieved it’s objective of reprogramming my subconscious mind and I don’t want alcohol any more.

Sillymummies123 · 23/10/2023 06:12

SaltySeaCat · 28/09/2023 21:49

The book really resonated with me but I had already given up when I read it. I reread it last week and it’s helped me a lot. I think it’s achieved it’s objective of reprogramming my subconscious mind and I don’t want alcohol any more.

Me too.

Perhaps it's better, OP, if I ask what about the book didn't really resonate for you? As this might inform us to find something more suited to you.

I must admit that although Annie does say "moderation is fine if you want to" the entire book dismantles this as a concept and its hard to see how you left it thinking moderation was still the way forward. More info would enable us to better recommend you. Or is it literally that you blocked out the reasoning because you want to drink at weekends.

Your post contained a bit of a contradiction too - you drink when you're lonely or having shit times, which are intrinsic to your life. ASD kids, exh. Are these confined only to the weekend? I ask this as somebody who has a violent ASD DS, and I completely understand that struggle, I assure you.

mindutopia · 25/10/2023 17:06

I think what you're saying OP is that you want to be able to drink Friday/Saturday, but then stop for the rest of the week. But this isn't working for you because if you drink on Saturday, say, you want to drink on Sunday anyway, so you do, and then it becomes Monday, Tuesday...etc.

I think what you're describing is a completely normal and common experience. Alcohol makes your brain think you need it, so you drink it, but then the next day, you feel rubbish, and your brain knows that you can drink more of it and feel less rubbish for a bit...and on and on. There's only two ways out of this.

One is that you rely purely on distraction and willpower and you don't drink on days you don't want to drink on. You do something else with your time. You have a cup of tea or an AF beer instead of a drink, even if you're out for Sunday lunch or it's a friend's birthday or whatever. Some people can do that and it's no big deal. Some people can't. If you are someone who can't, your only option if you want to get out of this cycle is to stop drinking, full stop.

You need to work out what sort of person you are. I certainly know people who have always gone out for a nice lunch and just had a fizzy water because they don't drink much alcohol or they had a heavy night the night before and don't want it. If you're not that kind of person, you can't wish yourself into being one, fortunately/unfortunately.

It may not sound like it, but it's so much easier to just not drink than to drink sometimes and not others, if you are always someone who'd opt to drink rather than not. I gave up drinking 6 months ago. I was like you, if I drank the day before, I'd always find an excuse to drink again that day, and on and on, until I was drinking heavily every day. Now that I'm sober, I honestly don't want a drink. It's not a big deal to have a fizzy water at Sunday lunch. Because I've stepped out of that cycle.

And from a parenting perspective, parenting without drinking is so much easier. I hadn't realise how bloody hard I was making it all for myself all these years. The life I was drinking to escape from is not nearly as hard now that I'm not drinking. I was making it so hard for myself. Now I cope much better and have more energy and sleep more, all those things that we need as parents.

soberfabulous · 25/10/2023 17:14

I absolutely loved her book, read it whilst listening to a lot of her podcast. Im coming up to 7 years no alcohol and I credit it largely to her.

Alcohol is a poison, it is sold to us and it's a lie and I am so relieved I don't have to drink any more!

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