Really wanted to get and post on here as never ever thought I’d do this. Have always been a big drinker and from a family of big drinkers. Realised two weeks ago that I was spending my week (as I don’t drink in the week) just waiting to drink. Then drinking and spending all weekend feeling rubbish and struggling through the days.
Haven’t bothered for two weeks and waking up without a hangover is a revelation.
we had family over last night and I was nervous about it just had non-alcoholic beer and had a great night. Slight hitch when asked why I wasn’t drinking wine they’d brought round and just said I felt rubbish so wasn’t keen. No issue.
I’m aiming for two more weeks at first but have a sneaky feeling it might stick. Worried about other nights out planned especially with new friends as I’ve always relied on drink to feel part of the crowd ans like I’m ‘in’ but also a bit excited to drive!
if I can do it, so can you!
I read the alcohol experiment last week and that was really helpful and I keep referring back to it at night.
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Alcohol support
AF for two weeks - it’s amazing!
Teacherteachernotapreacher · 30/04/2023 07:50
Chardonnaygoaway · 30/04/2023 09:23
Well done on 2 weeks, I'm nearly at 3 weeks. I managed to wing it last night on AF wine and no-one knew (I was hosting at home so that made it do-able) but like you I'm anxious about events coming up especially a music festival in 2 weeks with 2 friends both big drinkers - there will be nowhere to hide and feels like I'm putting a downer on the evening not drinking. It's stressing me out - I can't not go as I organised it!
I'm not trying to highjack your thread but I'm looking for advice for me (us) to deal with this anxiety!
2023forme · 30/04/2023 09:46
@Chardonnaygoaway - I hear you! I have a terrible binge drinking problem and really am on my last “last chance” before I lose everything.
DH and I have some really big drinkers in our social group (a fair few I can now see are alcohol dependent/“functioning alcoholics”) and it is part of the reason my drinking got out of hand - ironically I hate being around drunk people so I drank to excess to get drunk to cope with others being drunk (but I then also started getting wasted on my own etc).
I’ve just survived a week all inclusive holiday with them where there was drinking from waking to bedtime. But there were also lots of things going on at the resort that I could take myself off to and I could just go to bed when it got too much as we were all on site. So it wasn’t too bad.
However - we’ve got another city break coming up and that worries me as if we are out at night, I can’t just toddle off back to bed/the hotel as we will be in a strange place and it might not be safe. I won’t drink but it could be a bit shit for me with them all getting drunk. But i will just remind myself that no matter how bad the night is, it will never be as bad as waking up after a bender feeling mentally and physically crushed.
a music festival sounds a challenge and I understand you feel like you could kill the vibe so to speak by not joining in with the drinking - the promotion of alcohol as the road to a great time is part of the reason why there are so many problem drinkers!
how close are these friends? I would say your options are either to be completely up front and say you are taking a break from alcohol then move the convo straight on to “but I’m so looking forward to this festival” - if you could handle it/felt comfortable, you could even bring some drinks for them with alcohol free versions for yourself eg “I’m taking a break from the booze but look, I’ve got some G&Ts for us all” only yours are AF. After a few, they probably won’t even notice.
telling porkies is always controversial but you could use the “I’m on medication and can’t drink but I’ve got myself some fab mocktails and it won’t stop me enjoying myself”.
I think the main thing is how you deliver the “not drinking” message - being upbeat about it rather than doom and gloom type thing.
It’s easy for people to say “you need to change your friends” etc but it’s not that easy in real life. Good luck ❤️
Chardonnaygoaway · 30/04/2023 09:23
Well done on 2 weeks, I'm nearly at 3 weeks. I managed to wing it last night on AF wine and no-one knew (I was hosting at home so that made it do-able) but like you I'm anxious about events coming up especially a music festival in 2 weeks with 2 friends both big drinkers - there will be nowhere to hide and feels like I'm putting a downer on the evening not drinking. It's stressing me out - I can't not go as I organised it!
I'm not trying to highjack your thread but I'm looking for advice for me (us) to deal with this anxiety!
Bamboozleme · 30/04/2023 07:56
I’m aiming for two more weeks at first
why not just aim forever?
Teacherteachernotapreacher · 30/04/2023 10:17
Not hijacking at all! You’ve articulated my fears for future events better than I can.
I don’t want to be the Debbie downer of the group and know it’ll be an odd thing. However, it was just brushed over when I said it yesterday and swiftly moved on so hopefully that’ll be the case going forward.
ironically it’s my closest family I’m concerned about - my mum and step dad are big big drinkers and won’t get it at all and have always been very critical of my choices generally.
typing it makes me wonder why I care what they think really.
but I do too 😬
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