Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

It’s been lovely reading all the posts here, so much I can relate to.
Happy New Year to you all, and I hope we can all support each other through an AF 2023.

I’m back at work soon and I know finishing work each day is a big trigger for me. As soon as the kids are in bed I want to open a bottle of wine. I will try and distract myself!

I’m not a massive fan of AF drinks, as someone posted up thread, they always seem to be full of sugar. I think I’m going to get some herbal tea for the evenings.

I know there’s a lot of books and podcasts out there about specifically quitting or moderating alcohol. However I also found this podcast “the one you feed” is really interesting and covers a wide range of subjects around changing patterns and negative influences on our lives. Not all episodes are for everyone but there’s some I found of lasting value. Latest one I’ve listened to focuses on procrastination which is a problem of mine!

Just had a look through my audible and kindle library...

One of the things I am hoping to do with the extra time I have in the evenings is to actually read/listen to them. So many started but not finished...found several quit lit ones too! Totally out of the habit.

The absolute worst thing I do for my sleep is take my ipad to bed and watch YouTube videos - sometimes it puts me to sleep quickly but other times - wow - definitely not. Watching/listening to vacuous bollocks too. Sometimes it loops all night and becomes part of my dreams. I've got two ipads and was changing them in the middle of the night when one ran out of charge (so I didn't have charging cable in bed)...managed to stop that now by only having one in the room, so when it runs out of charge that is it. Giving this up seems like a bigger step than the alcohol right now - it has to happen though. Tonight they are staying in my study and I'm only taking the kindle to bed.

I’m not a fan alcohol free wine. I like Seedlip, but it’s rather expensive for what it is! I took advantage of it being a bank holiday and did some mindfulness and a bit of exercise and I feel really good! I know what I’m like though, and the novelty will wear off! Just trying to get into some positive habits but it’s hard with young children and work isn’t it?!

I know what you mean blondie. I think my biggest sobriety saboteur is boredom. But the thing is, that boredom or being at a loose end because I'm not drinking is when I end up doing more positive things like exercise, sleep etc. So that's what I'm trying to remember

copper, that's really difficult! I don't have anything on when I'm sleeping, but I do bring my phone to bed, which is a stupid idea as I then look at it last thing at night and first thing in the mornings.

I've never got on with the AF wines or spirits either.

I do quite like lime and mint cordial with either water or tonic for a change. Usually it is sugar-free squash or decaff coffee for me in the evenings. I would like to bring herbal teas back and maybe a hot chocolate now and again.

@DancingSober - boredom yes! Definitely a big reason behind my drinking - that and laziness. It is easier to just pour a glass of wine rather than spend those few minutes starting something that I would, on balance, enjoy more. Same with social events that seem daunting without alcohol...is it because they are essentially boring? I think I want my social life to be more activity based or in shorter bursts.

Great thread. I recommend Annie Grace's This Naked Mind (the app) and The Alcohol Experiment on there. It's great, daily videos with lots of science that really make you question what the .... have I been doing to myself for so long and why!!!! Good luck guys, so many benefits. We can do this!

Thanks for this

Joining please! I actually did just short of 5 years with no alcohol and then started drinking socially 18 months ago. Wish I’d not gone back so ready to join you all! I was never a regular drinker but occasionally would let loose big-time on a night out, sometimes to feel more confident. Alcohol does nothing good for me.

I'm on sober night no, 2. Been a bit grumpy but vehemently determined!

Hi everyone. Feel fine on day 2.

But can I ask anyone who has done any stretch of abstinence, how long is it before drinking doesn't consume your thoughts? It's exhausting.

And I'm thinking about not drinking rather than drinking if that makes sense. And the mental energy this is going to take is actually draining in itself!

I've had a lurgy since Saturday. I'm downing water and shots of neat honey to suppress a barking cough. Nothing could be further from my mind than alcohol at the moment. I will be back for inspiration when I am better and feel as though we are all on the same page.

If you don't mind me asking you what tempted you after 5 years?

I think it gets a lot easier in just a few days but I’ve never gone longer than 3 months AF (excluding the pregnancy and BFing years) - I still think there was conscious effort though. It has always been mixed up with being on a weight loss diet for me too, so there was that restriction too.

I think this is the first time I’m doing it without dieting alongside…I definitely need to lose weight though but I’m tackling this first this time because it is central to pretty much everything - I won’t be able to stop yo-yo dieting if I don’t first stop yo-yo drinking for one.

Staying up later than usual so I can be more tired when I go to bed and not miss the iPad so much! Definitely aware a few times this evening that I was enjoying being sober - keeping busy 5.30 - 8 pm seems key and then I’m ok to slob a bit! That is harder when I’ve been at work an knackered though…back to work tomorrow!

sorry you feel ill @WorriedMutha - hope it clears soon.

Now off to check out the Naked Mind/alcohol experiment…

Hi all and welcome @Emdubz

Sorry you're poorly worried! That sounds awful. Hope you're on the mend soon.

I'm really tired all the time. I'm on day 7 today I think (last drink was boxing day). Probably just fewer calories being consumed and none of the false energy I get when I've had a glass of wine! I know sleep quality is meant to improve at some point which leads to feeling less tired...

Dotty, the most I've done in recent times was two months during lockdown and I was not thinking about drinking all that much as I couldn't go out! Unfortunately, the drinking returned and the going out a lot never really did. If it had been the other way around, I'd be a lot better off.

I was told by someone irl that you don't miss it at all after the first few months. So hopefully it won't be on your mind too long

And thank you for the info @23andme. That's really helpful. Another one to add to my reading list 😄

Hi all, I'm day 2 also. Going ok so far, got some herbal teas to experiment with.

I went to a family meal yesterday and got speaking to my brother who has been sober for 6 months after being a very heavy daily drinker. He told me that usually after an afternoon out he would be all consumed with thinking about which offie he would stop off at on the way home, and that it took about a month to get out of that mind set but he said now its the last thing from his mind, so that was encouraging. I've never been a daily drinker but I have a stressful job so the end of the week binge was something I really looked forward to. I think might struggle on Friday but hoping I will surprise myself.

I quite like Becks blue, and it's only 53 calories a bottle so I might get a few of those. I'm usually a die hard red wine drinker 😬

Day 2 done and no alcohol.

The "oooh a nice glass of wine would be perfect" thought crossed my mind a few times last night and this evening. With time, I know that thought will fade, so just got to keep going.

I NEED to do this. I have zero willpower, BUT I have now done 2 days straight with no alcohol.

I woke up new years morning with eyes like piss holes in the snow and tales from my children of doing forward rolls in the living room that I can't remember doing.

I also cried a lot. I am grieving my mum and I have used that as an excuse to drink, when actually I'd have clearer head without it.

I don't know if I can do it, but I'd like to try. DH is teetotal and supportive, although I haven't spoken to him about this yet - i think I'd rather just get on with it, and I know he worries I drink too much.

I'm making no promises, but I will certainly give it my best shot.

I usually do dry January anyway after a heavy December of drinking so I'm not to stressed at the moment.
I'm a truck driver so I never touch it in the week anyway but I then binge on lager on a Saturday night.
I don't even go out after my divorce many years a go so I can't even use the excuse of socialising with mates. I actually think I drink due to boredom and loneliness.

@DottyDry I think that the mental process around not drinking gets easier week by week. As you develop new habits and feel better and better it becomes less all encompassing- I definitely understand what you mean, but believe me when I say it is worth it to keep going!

@Icanflyhigh sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum. I am confident you can do this and it will help you heal and process your grief

If anyone likes podcasts, I recommend Soberful. Look at past issues and you can pick what you need by episode theme. The Janet Grace podcast is good too.

Morning all and welcome @Icanflyhigh. I'm really sorry to hear about your mum.

Wantmyown that's good news from your brother! Hope it's true for me too.

Magiccats yes, I'm the same. I have had that thought, but it's gone pretty quickly. Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not often a one glass of wine kid of girl 😂. I'm not a heavy, heavy drinker, but it's usually two or three on the days I drink. That probably is above the guidelines, so clearly I'm not drinking responsibly.

Yellowshirt yes, boredom and lack of festivities does it for me. I think that subconsciously because I remember alcohol being a part of fun times with friends and family, I believe that if I drink it will be like being with friends and family even when I'm not if that makes sense? I don't see as much of lots of people I love these days for a few reasons (mainly geographic). But alcohol on my own or even with DH isn't a party. It's just a night on the sofa with wine which makes me very unmotivated so means I don't do anything new or interesting and I don't meet anyone new or interesting and it becomes a cycle of boredom and lack of festivity. This sounds a bit harsh about DH who is my wee bestie, but you need more than just your OH imo.

Bit of a ramble there, sorry.

How is everyone? Last day off work for me, so I've been doing some errands in town. Weather is filthy here so I'm probably going to stay in now and take down the Christmas tree. I know it's a bit early, but since I'm back to work tomorrow, I'd better get it done.

Hi Everyone

@DottyDry you asked about how long before you don't think about it? I've done about 10 months before and then last year I managed 4. I'd say it took a couple of weeks to not be on autopilot but then it's also dry Jan so you're not in the 'fun month' anyway. It's then I think hard in Feb as you're actively turning drinks down (my Partner still drinks) then it becomes fairly normal.

My issue is that I stop and then forget why I stopped and it creeps back up again!

I don't know about anyone else but feel like I've eaten LOADS in the last few days. Just grazed all evening.

Ugh, I’m not having a great first day back at work. Hardly slept last night due to an upset stomach, then drove an hour to one of our offices this morning to meet a client and they didn’t turn up! At least I don’t feel like drinking at all right now, just want to go back to bed.

Re: how long it takes to stop thinking about alcohol all the time - I found after 2 months things get a lot easier.