Reducing alcohol and takeaways day 1

[40andlovelife]

Hi everyone! I drink probably around 3 times per week and when I get going I get going! Thursday onwards is the worst time for me as when I walk out of work it signifies the beginning of the weekend. My job as a teacher is really emotionally charged so I’m always feeling heightened emotions ( happiness, pressure, worry ect) and so I then kind of feel that it’s my right to have a drink ! It’s what working women with families do. It sounds classy in my head, winding down with a wine. It ends up anything but classy! I also love a bit of junk food. I have an extremely healthy diet most of the time but drinking leads me to order takeaways and this then continues because of the hangover. We spend a fortune it’s embarrassing . DH is pretty much the same as me . I don’t want to cut these things out completely I believe I can be strong enough to do them in moderation and not spiral. Well that’s the goal and if moderation doesn’t work for me I am going to obviously quit drinking altogether. I’m not going to have a drink now until the 21st July and takeaways are going to be just once per week. Please join the thread if you want to chat!

@Amdone123 I have a fancy celebration meal coming up next Thursday and I'd like to have wine then - but I'm going to stay AF until then, and am going to try the alcohol experiment after July celebrations are done with

@orion678 , see, that's great. It's a plan and you're in control. I don't mind if I can do it like that. And I can. I do, now, really. My problem is when I can't get off the treadmill !!
We can do it 💪

@Amdone123 Yes - it does feel a bit like a treadmill, doesn't it? Like, I'm fine with moderating, but if I have a day when I don't then it's sometimes hard to get back to doing it. It's weird, because it doesn't feel like an effort to moderate and I really like all the benefits (good sleep FTW, and so rare with young kids!), so I'm not really sure why I end up getting back into bad habits. I really need to examine that - because it's not for enjoyment and not out of any kind of physical need or dependence.

@rubydoobydoo welcome!
@likeliterally , parents do buy me alcohol and I love it! I was given some last week which I haven't touched yet .

I nearly caved tonight but ended up falling asleep from 4:30-7:70 after work . I do think I might have a couple this Saturday but I'm defo feeling ready to moderate it properly

@Amdone123 happy to go for another week with you, I'll have to start on Wednesday though as my birthday is Tuesday!

At the times when I've been getting cravings the last couple of weeks, I've been trying to ask myself what exactly I want to get out of having a drink, and whether I'll actually get that - and the answer is usually "no!" so I find it helps!

And what I normally get out of it is the desire to have another drink as the first one didn't work 🤣

I'll have done another whole week after today - on my last night shift tonight and will have to resist the urge to have a drink when I get home in the morning, my normal reasoning would be one or all of the following -
I need to celebrate the end of the working week.
It will help me relax/sleep.
I'm planning a drink later anyway so one (or 3) now won't really make much difference.
I'm cold, I need a drink to warm me up.
I'm hot, I need a drink to cool me down.

All bollocks and I know this!

I am still takeaway free this month! 😁

@rubydoobydoo , well done on no takeaways! Thanks for the Wednesday start, that's great. I'll probably start Monday though but only because I'll weigh myself Monday morning for a laugh 😃 @40andlovelife , you're doing really well. I think you'll be fine Saturday. @orion678 , yep, you're similar to me. I'm not sure why I go back to it. I can abstain, feel brilliant, really happy, then think I know....... I'll have a celebratory drink. And back to square 1. It makes no sense at all. I go back to the very thing that makes me miserable.
I'll just keep trying.

Actually, just to add, one thing I have considered is going to my gp, and getting the drug Nalproxen ( I think it's called that). So, if you drink, you're physically ill. I know it sounds extreme but I've tried pretty much everything else.
I think it could work for me because the desire to give up is very strong. It's the mental side. I go shopping and just throw wine in the basket, because I can. It's a bit weird !!

@Amdone123 do you mean naltrexone? I've heard that can be really effective if you want to completely give up, but if your goal end state is moderation then they may not to want to prescribe it.

I weirdly don't think I'd struggle much with quitting completely - I did it both times I was pregnant and didn't even give it a thought. When I've committed to being abstinent it's been fairly effortless. Where I struggle is just having one or two every so often. I tend to think "oh, just one more"... or I end up having a glass of wine almost by default every day. I really just want to get back to a place where my relationship with alcohol is healthier, and where I'm more mindful about my choices. Of course, if I can't do that or if it ends up being too much effort, I'll give up completely.

Anyway, I had a wonderful night's sleep last night and looking forward to the same again tonight!

@orion678 , yes, that's what I mean. I get fed up of the mental gymnastics so if I took that drug, I can't drink and that's the end of it !
I'm glad you slept well. I'm off work today and about to go in the garden to read. I had a fleeting thought to go n buy wine, but I'm going away tomorrow and I want to sleep well tonight and be refreshed.
So, I know I can be sensible!!

@Amdone123 hope you have a lovely time. What's your plan? Are you drinking but sensibly to avoid a Sunday hangover?

I proper struggled last night. Went to watch his nephew play football and really could not be arsed doing that after a heavy week at work. But I accepted it and decided to just keep myself to myself and get through it , and avoid the bar. But then his family turned up which was unexpected and I really was not in the mood to be social to the point where I teared up because I just could not be bothered being around others. I was on the brink of getting a drink at this point but then the match started and I just focussed on that. So I'm glad now. But then I was meant to get a healthy subway salad on the way home for tea but it was bleeding shut so ended up getting a curry .

Tonight's not gonna be easy. He's gonna have a face on because I'm not drinking but I need to not let him persuade me!

@40andlovelife , well done for not succumbing. That took a lot of willpower and strength especially after a long week at work. How many days is it now ? 11 or 12 ? Just keep going - you're doing really well. It's hard when others want you to 'join in ' - at one point during one of my af stints, I bought af sparkling rose, and pretended !! It was easier - all I had to do was act involved and talk rubbish ( not difficult for me !).
Yes, we're leaving in about an hour. We went to this same place last year, except we went on a Friday. I drank too much and was horribly hungover on the Saturday which was one of the hottest days of the year. I keep thinking about that because I was pretty miserable 😕
My plan is to eat, have bottles of water in my bag to drink in between my glasses of prosecco ( prosecco better for me, than normal wine ). I did pack my cigarettes ( only smoke when drinking), so that's not a good sign. And it's a health spa !!
I think I'll be OK.
Hope you have a good day, too.

Back here for accountability. My week off alcohol failed on night 2! I had a tricky work situation arise at the end of the day that I'll have to deal with on Monday. Stress usually makes me want a drink, but I was holding firm, and then my kids were so challenging when we picked them up from nursery and that was it. But I was sensible and didn't overdo it (just 2 glasses of wine), and would still have had a decent sleep if my toddler hadn't been up and down all night. I've been up since 4:30am, but went for an early run before anyone got up! I'm taking this as a win - yes, I drank, but not excessively and that's an improvement.

I've had a flare up of a long standing back problem, which means today I'm on all the strong painkillers - so drinking is out of the question until that improves...

@Amdone123 water between is a great idea will prevent a hangover too, just relax and drink slowly !
@orion678 definitely a win that! That's what I want to be able to do, a classy drink without ending up shit faced, kebab meat round my face!!!!

Morning, all ! Hope you're all well. My night away was lovely. I did drink ( probably 2 bottles plus a glass of pims), but I ate ( a lot. Good for me as I don't normally), and I drank water in between. I'm not hungover but I am tired, so all in all, a success. @orion678 , well done on 2 glasses. I think that's brilliant. Hope your back gets better !

@orion678 this is exactly why I think I need to quit completely. I have tried only drinking moderately so many times and it just creeps up again. I can feel it starting again. Have drunk yesterday and the Saturday before. I know realistically that I can't stay at once a week so I just need to stop totally.
I currently feel grumpy and disappointed in myself and am subsequently reading loads of Mumsnet instead of doing something productive like spending time with my kids!

@40andlovelife well done on managing that night out without drinking you did really well. I find social pressure so hard.

@Amdone123 glad you had a lovely night away and well done for moderating. It is soooooo hard especially if you are anything like me and alway associate celebrating with drinking in excess.

@Geneticsbunny , thanks. I'm exactly the same regarding moderating - I can do it. Not long ago, I was having 1 bottle a week, but gradually I slip back. I'm also very much an all or nothing person, in most areas of my life.

Well I definitely didn't abstain over the last 3 days- did have a lovely birthday weekend though and didn't go too overboard. Think I'm actually jumping back on the wagon today though even though my actual birthday is tomorrow. A takeaway slipped in on Saturday night too, but that's only one this month!

@rubydoobydoo , ah, well you didn't go overboard, so all good. We have to take the positives. Well done on the takeaway count, that is good.
Just keep trying.
I had no plans to drink today...who would, in this weather? Me, that's who 🤣
But....talking of positives, I've had just under 1 bottle ( dh has equivalent of a thimble), I've eaten properly, I haven't smoked and I'm in control 🙃

Hi there, I used to be the person who thought it was easier not to drink at all than to have one. Because I never seemed to be able to stick to just one! I could abstain for days or even weeks, then would go right back to drinking when I had just one. It was confusing. Then I realised it was because I was relying on willpower while my desire for wine was still raging. Perhaps this resonates?

Unfortunately we live in a world that normalises drinking in so many parts of our lives. Not only do we drink when we’re sad, but we drink when we want to celebrate. The good news is that moderation - or even quitting entirely - is totally POSSIBLE. Getting really conscious about your drinking and understanding EXACTLY what happens when you do drink is the place to start. Everyone is different. See what’s going on for you.

I have a podcast - 90 Days Later - that covers tips and techniques to stop overdrinking. I would recommend episode 4 ‘It’s easier not to drink than it is to stop once I start’.

I have this drinking thing figured out now. If you have any other questions, please let me know I would love to answer them for you.

Thanks @brightspice . Bookmarking this thread.

The starting on Monday didn't quite go as planned, then I was too hot to cook and figured it was my birthday anyway so now on two takeaways for the month - oops!
Definitely no takeaways for the rest of the month now, and my week off the booze will start now as originally planned before I started getting ahead of myself 😅

I have input my meals for the next 4 days into MyFitnessPal and left no room for drinks so that should help me stick to it - I'm also back at work from Thursday on evening shifts which should help as it's time for bed when I get in anyway!

@rubydoobydoo , hi. My Monday start didn't go as planned either, but I remembered you saying Wednesday so I'm up for today ! Day 1 here we come.
I should be OK, too. I'm thankful it's cooler and I slept well, so I'm not as miserable as yesterday!!

Yup. I am one takeaway down so far this week already too. It is too hot to cook. I have bought some easy Greek style bits so am hoping to do Greek pitta typed things for tea which involves no cooking so might stave off the take out urges.
@brightspice thanks for the recommendation. I will check it out. Looming school holidays are making a glass of white wine look very promising.