Reducing alcohol and takeaways day 1

[40andlovelife]

Hi everyone! I drink probably around 3 times per week and when I get going I get going! Thursday onwards is the worst time for me as when I walk out of work it signifies the beginning of the weekend. My job as a teacher is really emotionally charged so I’m always feeling heightened emotions ( happiness, pressure, worry ect) and so I then kind of feel that it’s my right to have a drink ! It’s what working women with families do. It sounds classy in my head, winding down with a wine. It ends up anything but classy! I also love a bit of junk food. I have an extremely healthy diet most of the time but drinking leads me to order takeaways and this then continues because of the hangover. We spend a fortune it’s embarrassing . DH is pretty much the same as me . I don’t want to cut these things out completely I believe I can be strong enough to do them in moderation and not spiral. Well that’s the goal and if moderation doesn’t work for me I am going to obviously quit drinking altogether. I’m not going to have a drink now until the 21st July and takeaways are going to be just once per week. Please join the thread if you want to chat!

I'm with you - working on moderating my drinking, which has become too much too often of late. I was drinking most days and definitely above the recommended 14 units a week maximum. I've just managed my first week within the "low risk" guidelines and I'm really enjoying the clear head, better sleep, and increased calm and patience I feel. It's also been easier than I thought it would be, and feels very much worth whatever effort it has been. Good luck to you!

I was drinking every night nearly through the lockdowns . The first one was so sunny and I treated it as a holiday. At that time my school weren’t set up for online learning so it was more of a holiday. Lockdown 2 I would online teach during the day and then reward myself most nights. Now I’m back at work I Mai my drink thurs to sat but i don’t want to and I HATE that mental struggle between ‘ I don’t want to drink’ and ‘ oh go on you deserve this’

Yes, I'm trying to remove that "reward" mentality and focus on the things I like about the days that I don't drink or only have one - better sleep, clearer head, more patience, more energy - and it's working for me. I'm also just trying to listen to my body when it says it doesn't want to drink and trusting that voice more than the "instant gratification monkey" that keeps trying to get me to do things that I know are harmful / counterproductive, like drinking too much.

I was similar and got in really bad habits over lockdown with my Thursday takeaway and wine night. I have been doing "the alcohol experiment" since the beginning of June and it has really helped. You watch 15min-30 min long online videos which go through the psychological aspects of why we drink and help you to examine them from all sides and make your own decisions. I had a small glass of wine a week ago and found I didn't like the taste much any more and don't really want to pick up all the crap side effects of drinking again. I am not going to never drink again but I am going to have periods where I drink and periods where I don't. Just cutting down to once a week is very hard as, from what I understand, your body is still primed to be running with a certain alcohol level in it and will be trying to compensate. My plan is to have a month off at Christmas each year but I will see how it works.

I'm in !
I've done this type of thing a few times on mumsnet, and it really works. Most threads tail off but when they're operating, they're very useful, inspiring.
You sound like me @40andlovelife , or at least like me when I was teaching.
I've just been away for my birthday and up til now, I've had too many events, but nothing now til September.
I've drank a fair bit but when I moderate/ cut back , I can do it.
So, another day 1 for me.
My plan is eat better ( easy when not drinking/ hungover), exercise regularly, drink my sparkling water and reap the trillions of benefits I get when I'm not drinking.

@Amdone123 yes having lots of events planned can make you spiral well it does me! I know I will drink most nights when I go on holiday in august so definitely need to moderate now! Now you have mentioned sparking water I might go and get some Pepsi max later - next to no calories and is a treat because most of the time I drink water, coffee snd green tea. You say you’re going to eat better? I love healthy eating but I also love my takeaways and meals out!

@Geneticsbunny that’s so interesting I’m definitely going to try that, thank you! Good that you’re going off the wine too haha!

@orion678 you are so right! The reward isn’t even a reward is it? I just end up not remembering what I had for tea and stressing about what I may have said/done.

I don't like sweet drinks so have switched to kombucha. A bit weird but it is probably doing me good and it feels like a treat.

I keep thinking about how nice my skin will be if I keep up with no/low alcohol.

If any if you like gin tanqueray and gordons have brought out zero alcohol versions and they are both very good. I like a drink at 6pm but find if i have one of these i feel like ive had a proper drink and dont always want to carry on but if I do want more its OK to do so!

Oh I fear if I drink non alcoholic it will just make me want the real thing!!

day 2 is now over!!!

@Geneticsbunny i downloaded the alcohol experiment last night on audible , got in bed, put my headset on and listened to the first 20 mins. Absolutely love it! I’m the type of person who needs to know the science behind stuff to take it seriously . I’ve also started doing the clear minds hypnotherapy app but it just sends me to sleep!

@Amdone123 did you get through day 1?

Morning, all. @40andlovelife, well done, you're on day 3. Yay !
I'm surprised I got over day 1 as I was feeling very happy, the tennis is still on and I had wine in! I had my tea as soon as I got in from work. Once I've eaten, I don't want to drink.
@Geneticsbunny , I'm glad you're enjoying the experiment ( and @40andlovelife ) - it won't be long til you're enjoying the benefits. I loved doing it. Felt great.
Have a good day everyone. I was so happy this morning when I'd had a good sleep and wasn't hungover.

@bilbodog , thanks for the recommendation. I find I've enjoyed alcohol free spirits and beer ( af perroni is lovely). I can't have af wine, it's awful and like @40andlovelife, a bit triggering. There's a great thread on here about af drinks - some brilliant ideas. Last night, I had Pepsi max after @40andlovelife mentioned it.

@40andlovelife glad you like it. Hope it helps. @Amdone123 might try the af peroni but I kinda feel like I won't like the taste? Might try it anyway and see. I realised that my main triggers were when I needed to relax after a hard day and when I am celebrating something like a wedding, or family reunion, or ... (Insert excuse to celebrate). Know that that is when I reach for a glass of wine has helped me to slow down and think about whether I actually want one or if it is like a learned association like pavlovs dogs. Turns out it is mostly the second one. Our brains are so stupid sometimes. I found the first week the hardest so keep going, you are nearly half way through.

I find the quality of af beers is generally very good. Satisfying without the guilt. And there are a lot of good af gins too. I don't find them triggering and it's nice to have when you want that reward or special grown up drink but not the ill effects of alcohol. Agree that af wine is vile, but I do like Nosecco as a bubbly alternative!

I’m in, so fed up with feeling crap and know the wine is to blame. So not drinking tonight and going to read all these threads and try and wrap my head round it all.

I have ordered myself some nozecco and some interesting looking nonalcoholic punk IPA. Will report back on what they are like.

The alcohol free beer tastes identical to the normal one. I wish I could find a chardonnay in alcohol free which tastes the same but I find all alcohol free wine is really sweet. Alcohol free prosecco is ok, but not amazing.

I found myself drinking a lot in Lockdown 1, just to cope with my job which was awful during covid as it got super busy.

I made a conscious decision to only drink fri/sat evenings (and often not on fridays because I go to martial arts classes). Perhaps you need an evening hobby to take your mind off drinking?

I love a takeaway, we do one a month now and then make our own versions the rest of the time

Same. Today's a difficult one because Thursday is when my cravings come. It's also amazing weather which is another trigger.

I've just put my gym clothes on so going to go and do a 30 min gym session to get the relaxed feeling instead

Evening, all !
@40andlovelife , it's so hard isn't it when those cravings invade. Weekend and the good weather amongst the worst culprits. I once read an interview with Davina McCall, who had struggled with addiction for many years. She said that her worst cravings were when the sun was shining and the thought of a glass of wine was so tempting. She never succumbed obviously, knowing that if she did, it would be the beginning of the end.
Well, good news and bad news here. I had a bottle last night ( tennis, weather, etc). The good news is I only had 1 bottle. Felt rubbish this morning, really guilty. Nearly caved again this evening but talked myself out of it.
One day at a time, folks.

Oh, I know tomorrow I will face the same challenge because the tennis is on. So, I'm going to zumba in the morning and I will try ( really try), to not pick any wine up.
It's also my wedding anniversary Saturday (29 years !)......arggghhhhh. I could be sober if life didn't get in the way 😕

Oh happy wedding anniversary! Soooooo many women are struggling we are not alone! Yes it's so hard even though I didn't drink I still got a takeaway but it's the first one all week. As I said, I eat extremely healthy most of the week so yes one step at a time. The goal is 1 takeaway per week and eventually when I have abstained for a while from alcohol to just have around one bottle of wine per week on one night. This is what I did before lockdown. I don't want to quit altogether just moderate like I can with chocolate haha

@40andlovelife , thanks. Weirdly ( to some), my dh is away for our anniversary so it's not that tempting after all.
Well, you sound like you have a plan, so that's good. I love the idea of 1 bottle a week. I managed this a while ago. My friends were super impressed that I was finally within the government recommended units per week. 😂
You've given me something to think about actually. I think I'll try this. It doesn't have to be at the weekend either - I prefer it mid week and also, I really enjoy af weekends.
We can do it, really we can. I know, because I've done it before.

I am off for a romantic night away. I am looking forwards to it but not looking forwards to not drinking. Feels weird. I have non alcoholic stuff to try so hopefully that will stave off the cravings.

@Geneticsbunny you will have a lovely time and at least you will remember everything! I don't think I could do it haha

@Geneticsbunny , have a lovely time. At least by not drinking, you'll not have a hangover which is always a bonus.
I've only had 1 glass of wine this evening. I had an early tea of fish n chips, so didn't want any wine really. If I eat, I'm not really interested so I'm definitely going to remember this !
Though I'm also tired through zumba, walking, work and the heat ! 😴