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Original poster

Anyone else experienced an alcoholic who doesn't eat

45 replies

Claris87 · 18/06/2022 15:37

My dad is an alcoholic
He buys beer at 7 o clock in the morning when the local shop opens and he starts drinking as soon as he gets home and throughout the day until theres no cans left until he goes to the shop the next day

He drinks and drinks and eventually ends up being sick and having diarrhea and the shakes and says hes not drinking again and he does manage to stop for a couple of days until he feels better then starts again and the same thing happens all over again and again
He did go the doctors a while ago and the doctor suggested aa meetings but he didnt want to go

He thinks he doesnt have a problem because he doesnt drink spirits just very strong beer

Ive tried talking to him about his drinking but he gets nasty and aggressive and im scared to mention it to him again

Only now he hasnt eaten for 4 days and just drinks and drinks

Has anyone else experienced this because i don't know what to do anymore

OP posts:
AnonymousAndrew · 18/06/2022 16:11

Sadly Yes. This sounds like DF AND my PIL. There really isn’t anything you can do if he doesn’t want to stop drinking and doesn’t feel there is a problem. DF even lied to the Dr and said he only has 2 pints a day!

DF didn’t start so early, usually around 11am, but drank beer and wine.
He would eat occasionally if we heated a meal and put it in front of him but otherwise just lived on alcohol.

He suddenly went very frail, quickly started forgetting things and this rapidly, within6 months, developed into dementia. He never forgot to bloody drink though! This was when we were finally able to step in. Carers then went in every day to offer food, help him get dressed whilst we were continually talking to SS to try and find better long term help for him. He continued to visit the local shop and drink the whole time but we found out he was going to the shop a dozen times a day, not buying alcohol each time he simply didn’t know what he was doing or that he had been.

DF was recently sectioned for his own safety, SS were pretty amazing tbh as they knew he needed care but no home would take him because he drank. He was sent to a detox ward at hospital after he was sectioned and, was given medication to help with the side effects of not drinking. He is currently awaiting a full assessment to see what level of care he needs and see if a home can be found. I visit weekly and he does recognise me but pretty much talks gibberish. It’s very upsetting as it’s all down to alcohol but you can’t make an alcoholic give up drinking, even with all the support in the world.

FIL & MIL Kept their faculties throughout but MIL had a stroke then, after she died, FIL stopped taking care of himself and stopped eating and started drinking earlier and earlier. He did drink spirits though, he never used to drink until early afternoon but after MIL died he started around 10 ish. His Drs had told him plenty of times that he was an alcoholic but he denied it because, to him, an alcoholic was someone stumbling around the street after coming out of the pub at night. FIL died following a fall but did still have all his marbles, despite drinking 2 bottles of spirits a week.

so sorry you are also having to deal with this, I would suggest you try and put POA in place for health and finances so that you would at least be able to speak to SS or the Dr regarding his needs going forward. Flowers

LondonWolf · 18/06/2022 16:14

I was told once that as long as they're eating they could go on for years. Once they stop they'll reach crisis point quickly. My ex H is an alcoholic. I'm sorry you're having to go through this x

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2022 16:17

I worked in treatment. It's common and it's really worrying. I'm so sorry OP. You could get him some nutritional drinks, loved by alcoholics who don't eat everywhere. But you are stealing his rick bottom. IME alcoholics have to 'run out' of something before they seek help. They run out of money, health or people. Sounds like he's chosen health to run out of if he's not eating.

I think the doctor's wrong BTW. No food, drinking all day, he'll need detox and proper treatment, not AA.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2022 16:17

Rock bottom FFS

Sorry OP

HuntingoftheSnark · 18/06/2022 17:32

Yes, it's very common to fill up with alcohol and not bother with food for days at a time. Something that he might drink is milkshake? I used to get through a lot of that as well as a huge amount of wine.

As you know, nobody can force the alcoholic to stop drinking. They will find a way. Have you tried Al Anon for support for yourself?

Wolfiefan · 18/06/2022 17:34

He clearly does have a problem. He has no intention of stopping. If he’s nasty and aggressive then honestly? I would leave him to his drinking and cease contact. You can only protect yourself. It’s awful but true.

gamerchick · 18/06/2022 18:19

Yeah. Lots of calories in alcohol. They got prescribed those fortisip (?) Things.

pointythings · 19/06/2022 19:32

My husband was like this in the last year of his life. Unless they get treatment and stop, it's point of not return. My mum was the same.

Original poster
Claris87 · 21/06/2022 23:56

Thank you to everyone who has replied
Hes still not eating and seems to have no interest in eating

he thinks theres nothing wrong with him and is refusing to see a doctor

He knows im worried about him and ive told him that but he doesnt seem to care

a part of me thinks if hes refusing to eat and wont accept help that i should just let him get on with it but i dont know what to do

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 22/06/2022 01:30

My late dp didn't eat unless a meal was put in front of him & practically spoon fed. I worked out he was drinking 5000 calories a day. If an alcoholic is trying to stop drinking it is best for them to replace the calories they drank with meals & snacks.

Nat6999 · 22/06/2022 01:34

Does he drink cider? It is the worst one for causing sickness & diarrhoea. My late dp drank it & he always was throwing up & having the runs. An alcohol nurse told him it burns the stomach lining & can cause ulcers.

WellINeverKnewWho · 22/06/2022 01:55

Oh you poor lovely lady. This is such a horrible place to be in. What you do is one final talk to him, explain that he must eat or he will die. Explain that you want him to eat, ask him if there is anything he will eat. That's all you can do, horrific but it really is.

A&E might take him and detox but it is rare and as he's not exhibiting any confusion symptoms it is rarer still - and as you know they will only see him if he's willing.

I'm so sorry, I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone.

I'm a recovered alcoholic. He just doesn't feel hungry and is not able to fight against the alcohol. I'm sorry.

Fraidwo1 · 22/06/2022 02:05

I’m so sorry you’re going through this op. My dad ate one tiny meal a day (if that) for years before he died, he had trouble with alcoholism and he also had issues around food (sensory and possible anorexia, but that’s another story).

As I understand from everything with him, it’s best to get food into him before he starts drinking- otherwise he probably won’t eat. If not possible then easy snacks, like crisps or fridge raiders (with encouragement- sorry). Once you eat the alcohol doesn’t hit as much, so they feel they need to drink more or eat less. The alcohol hit becomes a priority over any satisfaction from food.

redandwhite1 · 22/06/2022 03:04

Yes I know someone who doesn't eat, they sit with a meal but never eat it / finish it. Most the time they are 'too busy to eat'

recoveringyoungalco · 22/06/2022 16:13

My appetite was very bad when I was drinking at my heaviest, I was full up on alcohol consuming probably 1500cals in wine per day. But I still cooked a dinner for DH and eat a bit every night for show. Things like stew were easy to take in. Also I eat a lot of snacks crisps, pringles, popcorn, cheesy pasta from a tin. I re-found my appetite in a huge way when I got sober!

Has his GP done bloods to see how his liver/ kidney function is? Mine scared me enough to get me started on the road. All 100% now thankfully

My step dad who is now dead 'not' from alcohol but clearly from alcohol would boil a pot of potatoes every few days and eat maybe 1 per day! He used to say he didn't need to eat, he also did not think he was an alcoholic. The vast majority do not think they are, I didn't for a long time.

theemmadilemma · 25/06/2022 18:26

Hey OP, in the lead up to me reaching out for help was when I had more or less stopped eating.

I was so dependent that withdrawal started in the early hours and being able to stop shaking violently when getting up, I had to force drink down (which often came back up), I was forcing it down on what felt like a burning pit of a stomach.

My stomach acid must have been crazy and I felt sick sometimes trying to force food down. I would sit and cry at the food in front of me knowing I needed it and unable to force it down. I expect he's suffering similarly.

Cherryblossoms85 · 25/06/2022 18:29

Loss of appetite is a sign of liver damage. And as pps have said, lots of calories in alcohol. So sorry.

TwoBlondes · 25/06/2022 19:13

I've PMd you

Original poster
Claris87 · 07/07/2022 14:56

Thank you to everyone who has replied

A couple of weeks ago he had the shakes badly and it seemed to make him realise that he needed to start eating and he did start to eat and didnt have any alcohol for a couple of days. Then he started to drink again but was also still eating a little bit

for the past few days he has been drunk by 9 in the morning and doesnt seem to want to eat again
he's buying meals when he goes to the shop at 7 in the morning to get his beer and then throws them in the bin

He has this pattern of behaviour that hell drink and drink for weeks until he ends up sick with shakes then hell stop and say he wont drink again for a while then as soon as hes feeling better he starts drinking again and the same thing happens over and over again

When hes not had a drink hes the loveliest person you could meet but the drink changes him into someone who swears a lot and moans a lot and can be nasty and is not nice for me to be around

Today ive really had to stop myself from snapping at him

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/07/2022 15:03

It could be that he has a stomach ulcer and has a feeling of fullness and he knows if he eats it'll give him heartburn.

Original poster
Claris87 · 07/07/2022 15:07

Hes on a tablet a day to stop heartburn and indigestion and if he doesnt take it he does suffer with heartburn which the doctor told him is caused by the beer hes drinking

OP posts:
Oceanus · 07/07/2022 15:28

Sending you hugs and holding your hand, it's the only thing I can seriously do. XX

theemmadilemma · 07/07/2022 17:23

He needs a recovery program.

If he's ever open to it you can detox at home, with support and medication on the NHS by self referral usually. Free. (Don't be drawn into the chargeable ones you can access it free.)

I did it 3 years ago come September. Never looked back.

theviewfrommywindow · 07/07/2022 17:38

Claris87 · 07/07/2022 14:56

Thank you to everyone who has replied

A couple of weeks ago he had the shakes badly and it seemed to make him realise that he needed to start eating and he did start to eat and didnt have any alcohol for a couple of days. Then he started to drink again but was also still eating a little bit

for the past few days he has been drunk by 9 in the morning and doesnt seem to want to eat again
he's buying meals when he goes to the shop at 7 in the morning to get his beer and then throws them in the bin

He has this pattern of behaviour that hell drink and drink for weeks until he ends up sick with shakes then hell stop and say he wont drink again for a while then as soon as hes feeling better he starts drinking again and the same thing happens over and over again

When hes not had a drink hes the loveliest person you could meet but the drink changes him into someone who swears a lot and moans a lot and can be nasty and is not nice for me to be around

Today ive really had to stop myself from snapping at him

You could be describing my father in law, who has now passed away, due to alcohol. Sorry you're going through this.

stargirl1701 · 07/07/2022 17:41

Towards the end, yes, they stop eating.