The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

How's everyone's weekends been? 14 days here! I'm trying a different non alcoholic drink every weekend as my weekend "treat".

Hello. Thanks for the good wishes. I'm feeling a lot better today. I've been kindtomyself . I've become my own best friend and it's great. I had a good chat with myself yesterday and listened and feel much better (yes totally aware I sound bonkers )

Welcome back @SavBbunny and @Nouveaunew.

@SavBbunny I’m sorry that you were poorly. I hope you feel better soon. Fingers crossed for good news on the interview. Hopefully someone in the champagne industry will come up with a lovely flinty dry alcohol-free champagne. It’s long overdue. Keep posting and let us know how you’re doing.

@Nouveaunew 👋 hello! It was lockdown that did for me, realising that I’d pretty much been drinking every day since it started. For months. And then realising that I’d been pretty much drinking most days for years before that too. The only reason that Mumsnet isn’t sinking under the weight of all my failed moderation attempt posts is that I didn’t know this area existed until then. Good luck.

@SmellyWellyWoo well done on 14 days. I've had a mixed weekend but much better today. My AF drink of choice is lime and soda- I love it!! I know that @Breathmiller mentioned it the other day too. I had a Russian pink soda earlier and it was horrible

Another big lime & soda fan here too, sadly I always seem to end up in pubs that don’t have soda.

@Tomlettegregg , hello! I have just looked up flying in my Sober Girls Handbook and the author (Millie Gooch) says to seek counselling if the drink was to deal with fear of flying, or to take nice things to help you sleep if not. Eg silk sleep mask, lavender spray. My dh uses melatonin on long flights, normally bought in the US. I wonder if there are ever any decent AF choices on flights now.
congratulations on 14 days smellywellywoo that must be satisfying! Hello also tealover onewildand preciouslife and kindtomyself

I like the city break idea silverpeacock!
@breathmiller, I always appreciate your posts because you’re so good at expressing the ups and downs, highs and lows, and it really feels like you’ve been where I’ve been with alcohol. I was nodding along with your comments on pricey AF drinks. I suppose that because there’s no alcohol in them we stop drinking earlier so in that respect they’re not bad value. I know in my earlier days I had to have a little “bar” lined up on the kitchen counter for my early evening ritual, and I did wonder if my projected savings were a bit optimistic given the cost of seedlip. But now I’m quite happy with a cup of tea or a Lidl AF beer, occasionally a fake g&t with a splash of posh cordial. I do like Wilfred’s though, when I have some in.

I fell mightily off the wagon last weekend. I spent the week mentally torturing myself and then swinging to forgiveness and being kind to myself, my brain....Then made it through the week only fall off Friday again. It was a long slip so consider today my day one.

I just have to keep trying. So I will. Every day of me not drinking is a success and a good day.

I feel like a very bad thread 'leader'. Since I started this sober journey 10 or so months ago, the longest I've managed is 3 months. I think this is the 5th time I've lapsed.

Never going to give up trying, I just hope I'm not destined to repeat this cycle I seem to have got into of 6 weeks of sobriety followed by 24 hours of alcohol abuse and turning my life upside down. Miserable but resolute to keep trying.

Welcome all new people, sorry to all who have lapsed as well.

And a big sorry to all the posters who have held firm on their sober journeys and are always checking in and giving support 💜

champoopapi please never feel you have to apologise to anyone.

Contrary to what it may sound like from othes at times, this is not easy. If it was we wouldn't need these threads. But we do, and we are so grateful to you for starting this one and holding it for everyone to post on whatever is going on. It certainly doesn't mean you have to put more pressure on yourself than any of us who are just posting. We're all just here supporting each other.
The fact you keep coming back to it means you want this. Keep going, one time it will just click.

It may be worth talking out or just looking at what are your trigger points, and maybe we can help you with some suggestions of tools to help you through these moments. Because I can guarantee that whatever is going through your mind has gone through someone elses and there may be something that resonates and helps.

I agree with blackberry, if I had been on these threads when I was trying to stop in years gone by I would* *had more blips than periods of abstinence. And I'm not sure I would have had the confidence to have come on here. I am always so in awe of those who come on and say "ive had a blip- help!" I wish I had had you all decades ago. Just supporting, no judgement.

Thank you for the thread and your honesty.

@ChampooPapi I echo what Breathmiller has said

I know for a fact the only thing that has stopped me having any blips so far has mainly been down to finding out my liver has fibrosis, and then losing my mum who was so pleased I had finally stopped drinking.

Even if my liver does heal a bit, I am well aware moderation wouldn't be feasible, I either drink full on or not at all.

Thinking of everyone on this forum even though I'm not posting very much at the moment x

I've spent 4 years blipping and failing at moderation @ChampooPapi I had more "day 1's" than hot dinners

I'm still on (metaphorical) shaky legs myself but I'm just seeing where this goes. No grand plans, one day at a time and every sober day is a positive (day 70 today for the first time ever )

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Another saying no apology needed champoopapi. Thank you for posting, I was wondering how you were. Maybe count your successes rather than your slips, and allow yourself to be proud of how far you’ve come? A couple of blips don’t cancel out all the achievements of the dozens of other weeks.

@ChampooPapi

Ah Champ, it isn't easy. Forgive yourself.
I can moderate but I don't know for how long before I embark on a total piss up.
I wanted to enjoy some hospitality last week and I bowed out as you know. Made me very poorly so I think I am still in recovery. Back to AF gin for me. Habits (crutches) are hard to give up. 17 years of big boozing for me. I admit I felt and looked ropey (in the mornings).
Those people who say they don't like the taste of wine I envy because I do.

Every day AF is a win, you know that my friend. Tomorrow is a new day. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you everyone for welcoming me back.

@Breathmiller as always your words of wisdom and kindness mean the world. I appreciate your take on it because I am getting stuck at the month point over and over again, i almost like to destroy myself it seems, and then have to build up from that and I'm getting stuck in that cycle.

@SavBbunny

Every day AF is a win, you know that my friend. Tomorrow is a new day. Be kind to yourself x

This is such a heartfelt and genuine thing to say to someone, thank you, I of course welled up. It's a lonely place this world and these drink issues make it an even more isolating one, very grateful for this safe space to share. Very grateful for the understanding when I feel like a total freak of nature!

@ChampooPapi it's good to hear from you Champ. I’m glad you’re back, sorry you’ve had a rotten week and as has been said you don’t need to apologise.

Wishing you a good week ahead 👍

@BraveFaceScaredInside thank you for posting in response with your kind words and understanding, means a lot to me, it really does. It's not easy for you or anyone else on here, you are finding strength and I need to make a change when I start to get complacent again.

@Crunchymum I won't be too hard on myself but I think I might need to be sterner this blip because they keep happening. Congratulations on 70 days, incredible 💜

@Blackberryblossom @AlloftheTime I do feel like I should be saying sorry, you both have been incredibly supportive and brave in your own situations and I feel dam ashamed of my behaviour. I think some kind of counciling might help, I've never tried it before and I could access it through my university I think or the hospital. Nothing heavy but just somewhere I can talk things over past and present and get stronger, not feel the need to self medicate in this way and switch off my brain by essentially killing parts of it

@Breathmiller
Thank you for the welcome. I'm on Day 1 now. I think you're right -- it's about really accepting that I cannot moderate. I'm already thinking that maybe I can figure it out but I really struggle with it. I can't believe I haven't had an AF day in over a month ... well, I can very much believe it actually!😶

@Nouveaunew welcome 🙌 checking in at the end of day one myself. Night all

@ChampooPapi

thanks for the welcome. I know exactly how you feel when you write not feel the need to self medicate in this way and switch off my brain by essentially killing parts of it It’s tricky. I’m realising I’ve had very few AF days this year. I’ve started drinking faster and more too. Interestingly I can actually stop because I get this crazy vertigo head spinning feeling that puts me off drinking WAY too much … but I still drink far too much. I drank a bottle of Prosecco last night like it was lemonade.

looking forward to this alcohol free journey with you all 🙂

Proud of myself. Lunch with a couple of friends and everyone had a drink and I stuck to water. Small win but big for me.

Morning all,

@ChampooPapi well done on your AF day. Each one gets easier. Remember how well you felt.

I had two buckets of AF Tanqueray. Made me want a pee at 2.30. No sleep since.

If I get the new job my boss is teetotal which will make things easier. Not sure what the Sats are for the French re alcohol but my experience is they don't get bladdered like the British. Might make things easier for me!

My lovely DH went out and bought me supplies of Gordon's AF yesterday so he must have noticed the whiff of the grape.
Anyone who tells you that giving up alcohol is just a state of mind has never walked in our shoes. Be proud of small wins. 30/60/90 days are huge milestones and my 100 days AF was such an achievement for me having not done that since 2003.
Chin up my friends 😁

@SavBbunny morning!
chins up Indeed have a good Monday everyone
checking in 👍

Wishing everyone a good week and strength to those who had blips and are returning to the thread! You are not alone! I know it looks like I’ve got two years of sobriety without blips under my belt from this thread (which is true) but before that there were many many many failed attempts at moderation. I honestly lost count. But years worth of failed attempts. I only found this thread after I had managed to commit to quitting (basically after I decided I could not moderate). But I wish I had found the thread sooner, I may have managed to quit sooner.
Good luck to all. Take pause, identify your triggers and be kind to yourself is what has helped me in the past.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies it's reassuring to hear that. After I've fallen off the wagon I always feel like I'm some kind of absolute freak of nature who should be exhibited because no one has ever done or said such stupid things as me.

I'm keeping my chin up though, I've got to keep trying, and I will never stop trying.

Life is so much better without alcohol

Day two, checking in 🙌

Hello all

Nice to hear from you @ChampooPapi don't be hard on yourself- imagine what you would be saying to one of us and say the same to yourself. Would you be referring to me as a freak of nature?? You are fabulous, trying your best and like someone else said think about the number of days AF that you have achieved.
I definitely recommend therapy as it will give you an opportunity to delve more into any issues and hopefully give you tools to deal with them. I'm definitely finding some benefit.
You got this Champ!