Drinking moderately

[IJustLovePirates]

This is a thread for people who don’t want to give up alcohol completely, but who want to cut down and stay in control. I’ve been inspired by ‘Mindful Drinking’ which suggests having very definitive rules about how often and how much so that you’re not spending the day thinking about whether you should, or shouldn’t, and if so how much etc. (Well that’s what I do!)

My rules are:

No alcohol at all if I have work the next day

No alcohol before 6.30 if I’m at home

No drinking more than two days in a row

No drinking if I’m upset

Finish my first drink before ordering another if out, or topping up if I’m at home

Measuring out how much alcohol I can drink in an evening before I start and absolutely no “Oh, just one more…”!!!

And although my general rule will be 3 or 4 or less, sometimes things like parties happen…so no more than 5 drinks EVER

And if I can’t stick to this then it’s back to four weeks AF :)

[wurlycurly]

Hello! Just checking in for a damp February!

[IJustLovePirates]

Hello! I think it's just us, so will wander over to the original thread if they'll have me back :)

[Coyoacan]

That wouldn't work for me as I never was very good at sticking to rules but, as someone who managed to totally stop drinking nearly four years ago, I'd be interested to know why you want to keep on drinking?

[480Widdio]

Good grief,that looks like torture.Reminds me what hard work it was for me when I was drinking.

Stopped completely in May 2003,so much easier than doing all the controlled drinking shite.

[IJustLovePirates]

@Coyoacan

That wouldn't work for me as I never was very good at sticking to rules but, as someone who managed to totally stop drinking nearly four years ago, I'd be interested to know why you want to keep on drinking?

Because I like it. But just don’t want to do it every night.

[wurlycurly]

I'm just looking to cut down too. I'm planning on not drinking in any regular way though. I will pick out days in the future (parties and holidays, that sort of thing) and not drink otherwise

[FastFood]

Honestly, I think every single ex drinker have had similar rules at some point.
And then we've all had a ton of excuses to not follow said rules.

Good luck with that, I personally think that forcing moderation doesn't work, either you moderate naturally or you don't.

[Getdowngetdown]

I don’t think it’s a bad idea to self-moderate, although you may be setting yourself up for disappointment when you break your own rules. I found it helpful to cut down at the same time as a friend, we could swap notes on how fresh we felt after a booze free night. I don’t drink at all now as I don’t think it’s worth the hangovers!

[Coyoacan]

Because you like it, is a given. But there are lots of things I like that do not cost as much and I do not need rules to govern my consumption of them.

I drank because I liked the taste of wine and rum, etc. But mostly because I liked the feeling of relaxation and disinhibition alcohol gave me.

[Parky04]

Easy for me. Don't drink Sun-Thurs but have quite a few on Fri and Sat!

[TickleMyFanny]

I like this. I drink Friday and Saturday but not any other time (unless on holiday)

I drink 18 units

[pointythings]

All you can do is find out if it will work for you and then adapt if it doesn't. I have a schedule too - it's looser than that and I do flex away from it if special occasions happen on a weeknight, but then I am a total lightweight who hates the out of control feeling that too much alcohol brings so I just stop. But that approach won't work for everyone because there isn't a one size fits all in moderation any more than there is in anything else.

[wurlycurly]

@pointythings exactly. What works for some won't work for everyone.

[IJustLovePirates]

I had a schedule too @pointythings but it was so loose I didn’t stick to it 😆

The Mindful Drinking suggested more definitive rules. Yesterday it was hot (32 degrees!) I had a difficult situation to deal with and it would have been easy to cave, but The Rules said I wasn’t allowed as I have work today, so it took away all the deliberation of whether I should or shouldn’t :)

[pointythings]

And that works for you, which is great. I think my take on moderation is a bit unusual because I lost both my husband and my mother to alcohol addiction. I have a natural wariness of it. My DDs are adults and neither drinks at all.

[mumtoallbhoys]

I drink Friday and Saturday, one bottle of wine between me and DH.

I am allowed to Drink in one weekday. It will be less than half a bottle. My son has some coordination issues and we have to do exercises from the OT, I find having a glass of wine makes me more patient and enthusiastic. I would procrastinate on the exercises without the wine and I would never be tempted to do them more than once for more wine.

[IJustLovePirates]

@pointythings

And that works for you, which is great. I think my take on moderation is a bit unusual because I lost both my husband and my mother to alcohol addiction. I have a natural wariness of it. My DDs are adults and neither drinks at all.

I’m so sorry to hear that. I worry about my partner. I have managed to have one alcohol free night with me and cut down a bit, but he’s not committed to the process and I worry about his health in later years. He’s older than me

[Nichebitch]

Hi is this thread still going, or a similar one somewhere? I like the idea of rules, me too I’ve been trying to cut back and as you mentioned rules would be helpful with the internal debate, which I tend to lose

[Popsicle33]

Fuck I need to do this. I was pissed last night and kept slinking to the fridge to top up my wine and sneak some fridge canapes. I was putting a blob of mayonnaise on my tortilla slice and pit it in the wine. Ridiculous

[pointythings]

@Popsicle33 the key is to experiment with rules until you find something that works for you, and not beat yourself up if the first thing you try doesn't work.

I would also recommend doing a dry month before you start, to reset yourself and also to realise the benefits of not drinking. I still do a dry January every year, and I also notice that when I don't drink, I sleep so much better. Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.

[easyday]

Too many rules! I just have one bottle a week - half on Friday, half on Saturday. End of. Works better if there is only one bottle in the house.

[Ceridwenn]

The thing with rules is that they don't work after you enter that carefree stage of having had a drink.

Not drinking on work nights is great. But adding in such level of complexity it doomed to fail, just like any diet. Rules to control behaviour means there is an issue. If you can't moderate naturally, you have a choice to make.

[TortieQueen]

Moderation doesn't work for those of us who struggle to do so, and attempt to impose rules upon ourselves. I deluded myself for a lifetime until finally freeing myself from the devil on my shoulder 2 and a half years ago.

[tonystarksrighthand]

I heard a great quote today "moderating is like breaking up with an ex but seeing them on the weekend"

It just doesn't work.

But I say that from me, a problem drinker. The exhaustion of putting the rules in place doesn't work for someone like me.

[pointythings]

I agree that if you find moderation difficult, you should not be drinking at all.