Last night was a mess

[excitedemmi]

I went out and had drinks at lunch with a friend and then just continued drinking when I got back. No thought process to it. Just blindly drinking. I was falling asleep whilst feeding one of the babies, and my husband had to put our 9 month old twins to bed by himself. He (quite rightly) called me an unfit mother to be dealing with them in the state I was in. I was emotional and went to drive off and he had to leave the babies briefly to come whip the car keys out the ignition. I can't believe I would put the babies, and then myself, in such unsafe situations. I am expecting to be judged harshly for this; I am judging myself. I don't know why noone except my husband recognises I have a problem. This isn't normal drinking and behaviour is it? I know it's not.

I've just signed up to This Naked Mind 30 Day Alcohol Experiment to get off the sauce for good. I hate that I have a problem with alcohol.

You need to stop drinking but you know this.

Is this a regular thing?

It's good that your husband stopped you driving. I can imagine that you're running through many scenarios of "what if?" right now.
It's good that you recognise that you have a problem.
I wish you luck in following the program. Are you able to sign up for any other support/help, via your gp or counselling?

You know you have a problem and that is an important start.

No it's not normal but you know this. While it's important to recognise the severity of your actions, it won't do you any good to continue to beat yourself up over it. The best thing you can do now is commit to change.

I once got stupidly drunk, had a row with dp and decided to drive home. Luckily I was stopped but the next day it really dawned on me how I could have potentially killed myself or someone else. It was the wake up call I needed.

You can do it and life is much clearer and peaceful when you're sober.

I would visit the GP, for yours and your families sake.

No this is not a regular thing! Thank goodness. But drinking is definitely a regular thing for me at the moment. And I can easily drink too much; although this usually just results in me going to bed early. Do you think I should also go to my GP, @WeatherwaxOn? I definitely need to stop drinking. Agreed. That's what I'm doing.

Thanks everyone. Okay, two people have said GP now, so I will make that call tomorrow. It's so embarrassing, but it's incredibly important I make this change for myself and for my family. This isn't who I want to be or how I want to live.

You are an alcoholic. It is good you have recognised that you have a problem - for the sake of your family, get all the support you can. GP, Alcohol support groups etc.

This is your wake up call.

You won't ever do it again.

Process it and move on. Vowing to drink responsibly going forward. Probably best to have a break for a bit.

You did wrong BUT you have recognised that there is a problem.
That is the first step to recovery. Good luck.

Well done for facing it. Thats the first step, now you have to do something about it. I know people who have pulled themselves out of addiction to lead full happy lives. You can do this but you have to be honesy and want to do it.

Good luck.

I'm a twin mum too. My girls are 8 now, and I've been sober for 3.5 years. I get it. GP yes, good advice, but if there's not going to be any withdrawal issues then you can take control of this yourself. Annie Grace is good. The first Catherine Grey book did it for me. Your DTs won't remember this, just like mine won't remember the shit I pulled when they were little. This is the time to change things, and you can do it. Feel free to message if I can help. Take care.

Thank you all for your support and reassurance, whilst confirming it is a problem and I need to stop.

@excitedemmi

Have a look at SMART recovery. They do free online meetings (as well as face to face). In my opinion better than AA because SMART teach you coping strategies.

If there is not withdrawal issues then the GP isn’t always needed if you’re seeking help via other sources. I’d start there and then progress to the GP if you find you need extra support

I think SMART recovery would be a good idea too. Others on the forum have found it really helpful. The Alcohol Experiment is good for people who feel the want to give up if they are drinking a bit too much, or try being sober for a while.
To be completely frank, if your drinking is so problematic that you have actually tried to drive whilst drunk, I think you need a bit more support than TAE. Join SMART , AA or see you GP for a referral to a support service. I wish you all the best with it. Come and join us on the sober forum and you will get support there too.

Thank you @iamyourequal . Where is the sober forum?

Hi @excitedemmi.

I’m hopeless at technology and can’t do links on this , but I can copy and paste! The thread is
The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life Title edited by MNHQ

It’s usually high up under the alcohol support section.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4410115-The-Freedom-Thread-Continued-Enjoying-the-positives-of-an-alcohol-free-life-Title-edited-by-MNHQ

The thread iamyourequal is a wonderful place. It can be used on it's own to support you to having a life of freedom from alcohol or alongside support from elsewhere.

It's full of support and wisdom with the odd laugh thrown in now and again. Come and introduce yourself or read through the many threads. It's helped me to be a year and a half sober now and I couldn't have done it without it.

I would start by not judging yourself.

What would you do if a really good friend came to you for alcohol advice. Would you judge her? Or show compassion?

You're going to fail and make mistakes as you embark on this work. Would you rather be willing to make those mistakes or prefer to stay where you are, continuing to over drink with no change in sight?

Hi @excitedemmi you posted on my thread. Don't beat yourself up as other have said you have identified you have a problem. I previously saw my GP but was told that as I had already been stopped for 2 weeks at that time he couldn't offer anything even aa! He didn't think I needed this. I have tried aa but it was not for me. I am happy to be your buddy and we can do this together.

@Rupertpenrysmistress - my GP was great and referred me to the community addictions team but I’ve lied to them over how much I’ve been drinking. Deep down I’ve not committed to being completely AF but I need to be. I just find that although they are very nice and offer suggestions to help me stop,at the end of the day it’s down to me. I need to commit and stuck with it. I feel utterly pathetic and weak but it’s just so hard. I just like to get drunk and make the world go away for an evening but that inevitably leads to a binge for 3 days . I really need to work on my triggers - from the outside I have a great life but inside I am quite unhappy- I must be to do this to myself.

@stuckhere2021 I know what you mean, my life looks perfect from the outside but I have MH problems which are much easier to deal with sober. I understand the f it button to once I start I think we'll the damage is done so might as well carry on. I went out on Friday and could easily have joined in with the flowing prosseco but I didn't, I still had a great time and felt so proud of myself the next day.

I really recommend Allen Carr the easy way for women it sort of attempts to rewire your brain and says will power is not enough, it just makes sense. I listen to mine on audible as I can't always focus or be bothered to read. I hope you get through work ok, be kind to yourself, you are trying, drink plenty and take some paracetamol. Congratulations you are on day 1 😄.

Day 4 now! I know - that's not impressive. Lol. I haven't really wanted to drink yet. Had thoughts of it, but it has been fleeting and easy so far. The "why" is quite strong and all the benefits I'm looking forward to. I think I need to constantly remind myself of the negatives of alcohol in my life and all the positives that can be without drinking. Otherwise, slipping back can always be a possibility. @andadietcoke I am inspired by you saying you have been 3.5 years sober and I want to be one of those people. @Rupertpenrysmistress I'll PM you! We need to be buddies on this (although can do this publicly!).