Dry January 2022

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Did Dry January this year and we had an amazing little support group going on here and I wondered if anyone cared to join me next year? This time I'm hoping to stay dry longer - 100 days - but will see how January goes first. I don't want to set myself up to fail.

Who's with me?

Evenings are difficult (I am an evenings only drinker, usually only after about 9pm) as it would normally be when DH and I talk a lot together. Last night when he was drinking and I was stone cold sober I found the conversation really banal and boring, and above all repetitive. I kept snapping yes, you have aleady said that three times. Makes me realise what I must be like too whan I am drinking. Not sure what the solution is.

Anyone else dreading weekend? I’m not missing alcohol so far but I’m predicting weekend will see the return of the cravings

I feel fine about the weekend, but I don't have any plans! If I was meeting up with friends, I think I'd really struggle.

I haven't had the weird dreams...maybe last week when I did my first Monday to Friday AF for quite a while. I have been sleeping really well the past couple of days. I wonder how long it takes to get to the leaping out of bed early to enjoy your day stage 🤔. I did get up reasonably early today and did some yoga.

I've got a weird one. Is anyone else suddenly really excited about food? I'm a greedy bitch at the best of times , but lately I've become very fecking Martha Stewart. Suddenly wanting to bake cookies and the like . This is not like me at all! I'm a dreadful cook. Maybe this will be a new thing then. I've been eating pretty healthily tbh and avoiding proper hangover / night out food junk food, but obsessed with cooking. I do think I'm eating less though as no massive bags of crisps in front of Die Hard and a bottle of prosecco

@catandcandle

Evenings are difficult (I am an evenings only drinker, usually only after about 9pm) as it would normally be when DH and I talk a lot together. Last night when he was drinking and I was stone cold sober I found the conversation really banal and boring, and above all repetitive. I kept snapping yes, you have aleady said that three times. Makes me realise what I must be like too whan I am drinking. Not sure what the solution is.

I think this is a hard one. My OH not doing DJ (though does plan to cut down a bit) and I end up feeling I'm letting him down by not sharing a bottle of wine. It's sort of been our thing after a long day. Glass of wine and some rubbish tv. Ridiculous feeling guilty not doing it!

The baking thing is funny, I used to buy all manner of fancy baking bits when drunk and imagine myself as a charming effortlessly sober domestic goddess, wafting round the kitchen creating beautiful bakes... Now I've quit I'm too tired to make the effort with baking.

The author Marian Keys I think said about her book Saved by Cake (I think it's called) that she replaced problem drinking with baking so it seems to be a thing. Definitely a more wholesome habit than boozing anyway!

afternoon all.

I have just eaten my second slice of cake.... and am thinking of baking also!

Quite jumpy this afternoon so I have decluttered the sitting room and am about to drag everyone out for a walk.

Took me ages to sleep last night. Think my sleep pattern has changed as only finally fell asleep at 3 ish?? Woke at 8 am to say bye to my dad and back to bed and fell asleep till 130 pm. Really can’t do this on Wednesday when back to work. Only 2 hours of Daylight left! Will have to get up early tomorrow even if I don’t sleep too well to get back on track!

Horrendous nights sleep last night, I now know what you guys have been on about. I honestly don't think I dropped off till after 3am! I got up at 2am and ate half a packet of Choc digestives and had a glass of milk. My dh was snoring like a train and I just couldn't switch off. Oh well, onwards and upwards. I'm sure I'm coping with the tiredness better sober.

I didn’t sleep until 3am either! Hoping it improves after tonight

@LibbyVonTrap

Anyone else dreading weekend? I’m not missing alcohol so far but I’m predicting weekend will see the return of the cravings

I was thinking about the weekend and what if I started craving wine. I've popped a few bottles of Nosecco in my online shop for the weekend if I fancy a glass. Also as my New Year guests were leaving I gave them all a bottle or bottles away with them. Only have a bottle of champagne and half a bottle of gin left in the house. Determined they will still be at the same level in February. I am feeling vain today, looked in a mirror and I look awful really bloated, pale and yuck. Going to have a pamper bath tonight.

Starting again today.

I slept badly but that was because of DD2's breakup. She seems a little better today but when out for a walk yesterday dropped her phone in a deep puddle in the dark and took a long time to find it. Phone is officially dead, I've had to get her a new one. Fortunately I can afford it, but as shitty starts to a new year go, 2022 is rocking it.

@StarryNightSparkles my weakness is beer! I’ve been told the Stella Artois AF beers are nice so I might get a few of them in for weekend

I've felt absolutely horrendous today, I didn't sleep well and DP was snoring horrendously.
I'm also having really weird dreams.
Today has been horrible, me and DP had our first argument in ages and I've cried and cried.

I think it's a mix of being hungover, tired, emotional cos Christmas is over and it's been a nice but strange one. Plus, I've just paid out £500 for my car and have to pay another £250 cos it's still knackered. I feel quite isolated but am also treating it as a positive. I can't just nip out to the shop which means no nipping to the shop for a bottle of wine.

I'm very grateful for DP. He's so understanding and supportive. I wonder what I've done to deserve him sometimes.

Here's to day 1 (again)

@LibbyVonTrap yeah the stella is nice, I liked all the alcohol free beers to be fair when I had 3 months sober last year. I've not tried the gin so might pick up a bottle to try that out. Weekend is going to be my weakness I think. Planning on keeping busy I've kept the Christmas decorations up to take down at the weekend.

I'm in serious danger of wavering tonight. My marriage is also in trouble - and we've only been married for 3 months. DH's mental health is really bad but he won't accept any responsibility. Every day he tells me he's leaving. Christmas has been really stressful. Things came to a head today and I've had enough. He says we'll talk tonight but I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with this without a wine crutch.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered sending love and support - that sounds really tough.

Perhaps just rationalise with yourself - in which way will wine help you deal with this better? And how would you like to feel tomorrow?

No judgement either way though. Life is hard.

I agree with @Youngatheart00 the alcohol won't help during this talk especially if his MH is already affecting his thoughts and actions, having you off balance as well will only make things worse.
Sending my support 💐

@MyGhastIsFlabbered so sorry to read about you and your dh. Sending you strength 💐

It's completely your choice but I don't think you should have a wine tonight. It might make you feel worse, hungover tomorrow or you may say things tonight that you don't mean. Having a chat with a clear head would be so much better and tomorrow you will be clear headed to reflect on what's said tonight.

@MyghastisFlabbered sounds like a really tough time for you. We all know alcohol blurs things and makes them so much harder to deal with. I guess if you can take a deep breath and have the talk with DH. Sometimes it feels worse waiting.

I am another one struggling with sleep, can't sleep until late then I can't get up and so the cycle continues. I am getting some nytol tomorrow, they always help reset my sleep after my night shifts, they do make you feel groggy in the morning but I find I only need to take them on 2 consecutive nights so just put up with it. Also been having really vivid and horrible dreams. I am not worried about my diet at the moment one thing at a time.

Good luck to everyone it really is minute by minute.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I'm sorry to hear your marriage isn't in a good place and I'm sending you my love. I agree with what the others have said about really trying not to have a drink this evening especially if you're having a big conversation later.
Don't forget we're hear to lend an ear and support. Good luck with everything x

@MyGhastIsFlabbered sorry to hear this. I 100% understand the urge to drink to cope but you know it won’t help. Chances are it will make you feel worse and you will wake at 3am with the fear. It may also give your husband a stick to beat you with - obviously I don’t know the ins and outs of your marriage but you may “lose the argument” figuratively if you are not sober. Whatever you do, please take care and know you have lots of support here ❤️

@MyGhastIsFlabbered

Sending you lots of love and strength ♥️♥️

Those of you talking about sleep. I’m 8 days AF now and it’s taken at least approx 6 days for me to have proper sleep.

I actually woke up crying one night at about 2am. I don’t know what I was dreaming of or what the hell I was thinking but I scratched my own face on my forehead and woke up howling.
The whole family was in uproar with cries of who actually does that???
I looked liked I’d had a fight or something.
Shocking.

Thankfully it cleared up in time for work tomorrow as I don’t think anyone would actually believe how I got the scratches.

I’ve got the night before work blues…. Hot chocolate will have to be enough.

I appear to have swapped alcohol with hot chocolate. Better for me but I'm not certain I will be saving any calories!

Dh has realised he may as well go alcohol free with me as well. When I said how hangovers are making my anxiety worse (and I suspect regular drinking doesn't help with my depression) I think he realised what a good idea it is for me. Especially as it was him who told me that I couldn't rely on a high dose of antidepressants forever.

Alcohol makes my sleep bad so I haven't noticed any change there.

On the subject of sleep.

I’ve just completed day 3 of the alcohol experiment and today’s session included an interview with Dr William Porter who wrote Alcohol Explained. He explained that the brain naturally prepares us for sleep by releasing certain substances in the run up to bedtime to prepare us for sleep. When we drink, the brain gets used to the depressant effects of alcohol to get us ready for sleep. So when we stop drinking, it takes between 2 to 5 days for the brain to get back to preparing for sleep without alcohol. Also add about another week to catch up with lost sleep and for most people, it will take 1 to 2 weeks for sleep to return to normal. The worst thing you can do is take a drink to “help you sleep” as you will just continue the maladaptive cycle. Alcohol also prevents REM sleep which is essential for health and well-being. So although we think we are sleeping when we drink (and black out in my case), it’s not the most healthy sleep cycle.

Hopefully this will give some reassurance to those struggling to sleep .