The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

@Touty you’re doing so well. Just take each day at a time in terms of the alcohol. Remember a glass might numb you now but it’s all the other glasses and the hangover etc.. it’s not worth it. Can you try and get a call with your doctor about the hrt? Maybe ask on the menopause forum here?

This is a tough time of year- blue Monday. Just focus on the now. Things will get better. Keep posting

Day four. Had to apologise to husband at 3am this morning! He was sleeping on the sofa. Probably nice for him to not have to sleep with a wife smelling of old booze. Got the munchies though. I thought sherbet lemons as they remind me of sav blanc? I don't eat chocolate and I am very fat so cant afford to replace booze with food. I have taken on board the recommended books and they are being delivered today. It is refreshing to be honest and say alcohol is a problem for me.

Morning! May I join you please? I started dry January and have realised I need to do this a bit more permanently😬

The dry January thread is lovely this year, but a lot of people having just a few drinks! I need to be AF completely. So thought I'd sign in here (I brought coffee and cake)

@LuisaMadrigal welcome! Good to hear you had the insight to come here from Dry January!
Pass the cake please…….

@ChampooPapi glad your tummy was a just at the gurgling stage! Hope you feel better today.
@Touty sorry to hear you are feeling low and hope today is more positive for you

Checking in and extending a welcome to anyone just joining us

@Touty I relate to your post and the feeling of hopelessness . I hope you find some peace today . I know I’m trying to find peace .

In my head at the minute the battle is constant . Because I’m low my defences are low and the feeling of “ need “ is chipping away . The feeling that I jut want to switch off and be numb for a while . It’s making me tired .

@Adm1010 - I totally relate to this. Numbing out was always my reason for drinking and it always led to at least a 3 day bender. I once got through forty bottles of vodka “in secret” (everyone could tell I’d been drinking) plus wine in 2 months.

I’m only on day 16 after many day 1s but this time feels different - it’s like not drinking is a reward rather than a punishment.

[quote Mybestyear]@Adm1010 - I totally relate to this. Numbing out was always my reason for drinking and it always led to at least a 3 day bender. I once got through forty bottles of vodka “in secret” (everyone could tell I’d been drinking) plus wine in 2 months.

I’m only on day 16 after many day 1s but this time feels different - it’s like not drinking is a reward rather than a punishment.[/quote]
Posted too soon.
This time I’ve committed to the naked mind alcohol experiment, working on my mind set and seeing going AF as a part of a general makeover for my health and well-being- both physically and mentally. So far it’s working. I’ve gone from being scared I’ll never be able to drink again to being scared that I will “need” to drink again (eg birthdays, weddings etc) as I really don’t want the poison in my body again.

Changing my mindset has been key. I’m also thinking more positive about work - focussing on the good bits about it rather than moaning about the bad.

KOKO ❤️💪

@Mybestyear Thankyou .

Apart from a one day slip I’m at day 126 . But it’s tiring me just now . The constant “ awareness “ I’m slipping and can feel it .

Quick Good Morning to all. I'm still not feeling great and also disgruntled because my weight is going in the wrong direction . I'll take some time later to catch up on the thread

touty sorry to hear that you're feeling so low. I also react badly to progesterone, I was given it when I was hemorrhaging due to menopause a couple of years ago and i stopped it after a week as it felt like someone had dropped me into a black hole.

I was then given a mirena coil last year as an alternative until I can get an ablation but I have reacted to that too, albeit not so badly and I want it out. Like the contraceptive pill, I think I just have to accept that hormone treatment is not for me. Maybe your GP can suggest a different kind?

The difficult menopause I am having really pisses me off actually. I have a book called Natural Alternatives to HRT as I was hoping to get through it naturally as I lean to that way of life. I don't drink, don't smoke, I'm vegan so no red meat, I drink one small coffee a day, if even that. I do yoga and meditation daily and more as part of my work. I feel like I am doing all the right things. And I am STILL going through a bastard of a menopause. Seems so unfair.

Although, I do have to say that when I stopped drinking it made a massive difference to my sleep which had started to go haywire due to meno. I used to wake up with dread and couldn't get back to sleep. Now, unless I'm disturbed by the cat or youngest DS (who is prone to nightmares) I sleep like a baby all night. There was a definitive difference in my sleep and night time anxiety when I stopped drinking.

Sorry to hear everyone who is also feeling down. It's a bugger of a time of year for that. I am prone to low moods and swings and I do find that getting out in the fresh air or doing some sort of movement/exercise really helps. Which I know is hard as the times I feel low emotionally also mean I feel low energy wise too so it can spiral. Last year all through January I did a dance burst song daily. Put a song on and dance! Just one. It really helped my mood. I've done it a few times since but not daily like I did.

Hope things ease for everyone

Be kind to yourself @Kindtomyself. I suggest ditching the scales till you feel a bit better (or maybe permanently😝).
Well done to all the newcomers and I love your name @LuisaMadrigal🤣💪

Sending strength to people navigating through tough times.

[quote Adm1010]@Mybestyear Thankyou .

Apart from a one day slip I’m at day 126 . But it’s tiring me just now . The constant “ awareness “ I’m slipping and can feel it .[/quote]
wow @Adm1010 -I didn't appreciate you were so far on being AF - 126 days is amazing, even with one slip. But at the same time, it must be quite depressing in a way to still feel the urge to drink. I've never done more than a month AF (apart from when pregnant) so I don't know what it's like to be at 100 days plus. I would hope to not be bothered too much by alcohol when I get that far - but maybe I'm being naive. Would AF drinks (beer, gin, wine) help or would they make it worse? I don't want to act like an expert here and I am sure you have tried many strategies - I hope you can find a way that works for you.

@Mybestyear everyone is different, some people like AF drinks and some people don’t it find them triggering. I love an alcohol free beer (and I wasn’t a beer drinker before) though I had a lot more of those in the early days, now (20 months in) I’m quite happy with sparkling water or tea.

In terms of the cravings everyone is different too. Some people have many, some people have few and some people have none. I do get the occasional craving now but it’s very rare and passes quickly. However I think even people who are a long time sober and still have cravings, probably would agree that they have fewer cravings now than in the beginning (I might be wrong!). Time helps a lot. Over time you just stop associating booze with certain feelings and situations. Or at least that’s my experience.

@Adm1010 I'm calling a strong online intervention 📢 DO NOT DO IT! It was the worst decision when I did the same thing , when I felt I was slipping and then I started to me tally plan to drink if this or that happened , as if it was 'out of my hands'. It was not out of my hands, I could control it but I didn't post on here, I didn't look for help in real life world or go to a meeting , talk to my husband. The fact you have said, I am slipping shows you want help to be pulled back and given a stern, but hopefully kind, talking to. Please keep posting, what's triggering you? Is it just because you've been AF for a long old time and you've completed Christmas and New year's so kind of feel like you can finally 'unclench'?.

If you do unclench, you know how bad it'll feel and be , you know it will really disrupt your coming days and weeks, your daily life. Please hold firm, we all believe you can get through this 💜

Thanks guys xx

@ChampooPapi I really appreciate the intervention it’s actually made me smile so Thankyou!!! I’ve been out shopping with DH . Getting out of the house helped a little . Just having a bit of lunch now then I’m going to busy myself tidying and making a Mac cheese . I bought an AF rose wine which I’ve not tried before and we are planning a film night tonight .

Thank you all for the welcome and thanks for the name love bunnies

She's my favourite 💪💪💪

I'm going through Dry January this year but hoping to get to the completely arbitrary figure of 100 dry days, then hopefully complete abstinence though I'm not sure I'm 100% ready to admit to myself that's what I want to do if that makes sense?

Do you think anyone ever regrets going teetotal? At the moment I'm thinking of the numerous, mostly out of reach or imaginary, drinks I'll never try and it makes me sad.

Am I ok to post here?

@MyGhastIsFlabbered welcome! You are very welcome here. You don’t have to commit to forever to be on this thread, as long as you are currently not drinking at all you are most welcome.

Being sober forever can be a very daunting thought, especially in the beginning. Many people aim for more tangible goals like 100 days to begin with. I really struggled with the idea of “forever” too to begin with, there were so many things (birthdays, Christmas, holidays) I couldn’t imagine without a drink! Now 20 months in I have done all of those things without drinking, and I have discovered I much prefer them sober😂 I no longer feel daunted by the prospect of being sober forever, I feel liberated by it. And I don’t regret all the drinks I’ll never have, I only regret the time I wasted not being totally present because of booze.

Those are just my thoughts though, I’m sure someone else will offer a different perspective.

Hello everyone, welcome to @MyGhastIsFlabbered @LuisaMadrigal @savboozer and all the new posters.

@Adm1010 I was nodding along with champoopapi. Hope you’re enjoying your film night and your AF rose.

Re menopause - I’m on Evorel patches following a hysterectomy a while back. They were a complete gamechanger in terms of clearing brain fog, but it wasn’t until I stopped drinking that my sleep significantly improved. Basically I get occasional tepid flashes now rather than full on hot ones.

I had a moment’s glitch yesterday, it came out of nowhere and disappeared almost as fast. Just a moment with a combination of circumstances, a brand new problem, and I found myself thinking that what I wanted to do next was pour a drink. I was so surprised, with my inner voice shouting “woah where did that come from?” then it was gone. I think I’ve learned something about my triggers though. I made a cup of tea.

Just checking in folks, busy day. How are you doing @Touty? Hang in there and things will improve. I’m on week 2 of HRT. Everything says to try and go 3 months on whatever you are given to give it a chance. It won’t work properly until it’s built your hormone levels back up to where they should be.

@Adm1010. I back @ChampooPapi here. You need to keep at this. You’ve been doing great. Think of the progress you have made so far, how pleased your liver must be, how pleased your liver doctor will be if you have another appointment! We started around the same time, let’s focus on getting to day 200, whilst enjoying your AF rose!

Hope today has been safely navigated by everyone- @Adm1010 plenty of us here cheering you on in the right direction and @ChampooPapi speaks wisely.

Welcome all newbies and if it’s early days and you are struggling hold tight as I look back over the last few months and am chuffed I am still plodding on 👍
Night all

Checking to in 👍 27 days today AF.

I feel really emotional having read all your lovely posts of support ❤️🥰 thank you.

Ok so I did not take the hrt tablet today and I feel a little better, I just don't seem to be able to tolerate it, last night I felt very heavy and had some very dark thoughts. I'm going to message the gynecologist and ask him for advice.

I found more grey hairs today.

Today I have roaring tooth ache, usually that would be an excuse to go and buy whiskey or brandy for the pain but no, instead I'll have to put up.

@AfreshAfreshAfresh thanks yes that's what I did , I find it easier to go to bed if I'm fed up x

@doorornottodoor I know you are right, it's not just the one glass is it, it's opening the door to alcohol and the problems it brings x