The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

[quote Adm1010]@Kindtomyself what’s , And just like that ?[/quote]
It's the follow up series to Sex in the City

Ahh ok … yes I can imagine tbh . It’s just rubbish isn’t it . We know the reality yet this glamorisation niggles away at our subconscious.

@Kindtomyself I would want to go and buy drink if I started to watch that and I'm pretty certain I'd be about fifteen minutes in before I went to the shop for a bottle 🤦.

It's a bollocks film no doubt but it would have all the trappings that would make me want to get drunk again 'with the girls' if you see what I mean

I have a similar trigger with the real housewives of Beverly hills. I've been trying to break that cycle either by not ever watching it (no loss!) Or having alcohol free beer with an episode.

Unfortunately my last relapse involved me watching it and going to buy wine so I've stayed clear since.

I do want to create new associations with these brain balm kind of shows though. As when i'm nursing those fluffy programmes really help you unwind and switch off from the serious

Watching 'And Just Like That' is when I had my blip. I had no idea that this could happen by watching tv and films so will be on my guard from now on.

I'm feeling really odd for the last couple of days. I can't put my finger on what it is but feel really unsettled. I feel premenstrual which always makes me feel antsy but I'm not sure if it's that. I'm under the weather with a UTI and also managed to stop a migraine coming on this morning but I really don't know what to do with myself.

I feel slightly panicky and kind of like I might cry. I've tried going for a walk but that's not helped. Any advice would be appreciated

@Kindtomyself sorry you’re feeling like that, that feeling is very familiar to me. UTIs are horrible too! When I feel like that, if at all possible I write off the day and take to bed where I watch shit tv. Obviously often not possible, in which case I just knuckle through powered by tea and chocolate praying for an early bedtime.
I recognise the feeling of “not knowing what to do with yourself”, just feeling restless and run down and anxious, it’s horrible. I hope you can take a break (call in sick from work?) but if not it’s only a few hours till bedtime. Hang in there, it will pass.

For you, @Kindtomyself…

I find UTIs affect my mental state as well as pain etc. Hope you can write the afternoon off and snuggle up.

I love that pic @SparklingLime😂😂😂 How are you?

@SparklingLime

For you, *@Kindtomyself*…

I find UTIs affect my mental state as well as pain etc. Hope you can write the afternoon off and snuggle up.

thanks that made me smile. I wonder whether it's the UTI having the impact on my mental health. I've got loads to do but have decided to lie down instead.

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies I feel so sorry for myself

I bet @Kindtomyself and it’s totally justified. Hope you’re better soon

Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish kindtomyself

I think there are times when we feel in a slump that going for a walk or doing something - anything can be really helpful.

But then there are times, especially when there are physical ailments going on that it's time (if possible) to give it up and got to bed, cuddle up on the sofa, watch a movie, read a book or bugger about on the Internet, eat cake...anything that just gets you through the day.

I have a very good friend who we chat through the day by WhatsApp. We have come to the realisation that some days are just lower than others, energy wise and mood wise. And for the most part they go if we accept
them and rest.

I think there is a real expectation for everyone to be on top of their game all the time. The glorification of busy and social media telling us to not waste a moment and "live our best life".!!

Well, sometimes living your best life is eating ice cream, out the tub, under a duvet and sticking two fingers up to the world.

@Kindtomyself sorry to hear you are feeling like that. Hope you can have a restful evening and an early night.
Perhaps you actually need to cry? Release some emotions through tears if that helps.
Hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you

Hi Everyone, lovely to catch up on all your posts. @Drybird2020, I’m sorry you have have bad family upbringing alcohol associations. It really is a poison when you look at how it shapes family life. I often find myself thinking how much better things would have turned out for my own DPs if they didn’t drink and it’s depressing.
@Adm1010, good on you putting yourself first and taking a day off. Way to go in 2022!
@Kindtomyself, sorry to hear you aren’t yourself this week. Try and rest properly - bath, hot water bottle, cranberry juice and all the pills you are allowed- in bed!
Loving the photo @SparklingLime. I’ve made myself go out a walk in ice and dark tonight- which was a stupid one but feel better for it…lol. Everyone else I hope you are doing well and enjoying being back to normality.
Nothing new here, except DH is doing dry January 😀. Super pleased with this. And I’ve started at chubby club. Team leader is lovely. I have high hopes (but still have the half Christmas cake, which is starting to feel a bit hazardous!). Anyway, away for now and have a lovely weekend everyone. Ps. @Touty. We can all work on strategies for your visit to DM! They can be the worst offenders. I remember my DM offering me Bacardi & cokes frequently as a tee total teenager. At Christmas I found her asking my teenage DC1 why they weren’t drinking anything!

Gosh I can relate to so many of your stories of parents&alcohol. My parents are not alcoholics but certainly have drank too much for as long as I can remember. Alcohol was just totally normalised in my house growing up. I think my parents were a bit puzzled by me quitting booze first of all but I must say they have been very supportive since. They never offer me any booze anymore and always make sure they stock up on alcohol free beers when I visit. I’m very grateful for that, though I am still convinced their historic use of alcohol has influenced my own relationship with alcohol (I don’t blame them for that, though!).

I really hope me not drinking will prevent my children from having the same issues growing up. Still, I’ll probably fuck them up in all sorts of different ways🤣

@iamyourequal it’s great your OH is doing dry january!

Another one here who grew up with hazardous drinking normalised. Having said that, I accept my drinking as an adult has been my choice. I’d be devastated to see my children drink like I did and would have to address it, even if being a hypocritical e. @Kindtomyself that uneasy, out of sorts feeling is so familiar. Lots of lovely self-care helps me, and making home as cosy and safe-feeling as possible- tidy, nice lighting, scented candles. Day 14 for me and I’m finding it ok so far. What’s been helpful I think, for anyone in the contemplating change phase, has been 1. Doing tonnes of reading and listening to podcasts in preparation and 2. Being prepared for triggering times and events and having a plan. Still fully expect to be knocked over by unforeseen events and cravings - I’ve made a list of benefits of sobriety (trying to frame it positively) ready for this, and it’s lovely knowing I can post here for encouragement in an emergency and get helpful advice from people who understand

Also going to reward myself this weekend with a lovely house plant or a new top. Maybe the plant to enjoy as a daily reminder that my sober life is better.

Really interesting about the upbringing and alcohol. I had that too and also partied hard from a young age (15). I see my own kids now glamourising alcohol. I don’t judge but it does worry me a bit. My in laws drink far too much. There is an undercurrent of “boring teetotallers”. My dad is supportive but doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t drink! I think he thinks it’s just a phase!

I suppose parents can feel judged by our choices. But it’s really interesting looking at family drinking (and friends) through a sober lens.

I’ve been invited to a big birthday next month. It will be two years since I’ve given up drinking. Due to the pandemic I’ve not been out as much as I would have normally so it’s still work in progress. However the good thing is that I’m looking forward to it. To seeing everyone and I know I’ll have a good time even though I’ll be sober and they’ll all be drinking (a lot).

A plant as a reminder is a great idea AFresh. Well done on your 14 days. You're now into weeks. How cool is that?
I used to think flowers were a massive extravagance but now I like to have flowers in my living room. Just supermarket ones so no great expense but I love looking at them. We are in the middle of some extensive building work in our living area and due to finances it's taking a while between each stage. But I still have a vase of flowers up most of the time in between the big jobs. They make me smile and are a fraction of the cost of the wine I used to "treat" myself to.

I feel I have reached a massive milestone today. 18 months!
I did 18 months AF a few years ago and then went back to drinking. But this time is so different. Part of that difference is intention. The last time I did a dry month to reset then just kept going. At times I would think "maybe I don't drink now" but I never really intended to stop for life. But this time I id. I started with the intention from day 1 that this was it and it makes a seismic shift in my thought process.

But the biggest change is this thread. I did it on my own last time. But this thread has been an absolute godsend. Just chatting about it (amongst other lofe stuff) has been an amazing support. It helped me keep on track through challenging moments and has been a wonderful place to learn about all the different ways that not drinking could benefit me.

So thank you, thank you. To drybird bunnies and all the oldies who supported me from the start. And to everyone who keeps joining and sharing their story and their challenges and successes. It's life changing. It really is. Life still has its ups and downs of course but at 51 my future feels bright.

@Breathmiller 18 months🤩🤩🤩 Congratulations!!! What a fantastic milestone. Of course it has all been your own hard work but I’m so glad the thread has helped too. And in turn you have helped many other people! In any case, big congrats to you!🥳🥳🥳👍

@Breathmiller that’s fantastic! Well done!

Congratulations @Breathmiller. Yippee to 18 months! And what a sense of peace you must enjoy knowing it’s different this time. Make sure and get yourself some great flowers today!
And well done @AfreshAfreshAfresh on your first fortnight. The toughest stretch is over!
Have a good day all. Will pop in later. I’m off to the …….gym!! Shocked 😳

Congratulations @Breathmiller! Your words are full of optimism which is so infectious

@Breathmiller great post x

@Breathmiller congratulations on your 18 month milestone! And flowers are such a good idea.

I wanted to ask about headaches and alcohol withdrawal or menopause symptoms. I'm 42 and think I might be peri menopausal but wonder if I'm still a bit young? I've got all the physcological symptoms but only one physical. They could all be put down to other things so wondered what your experiences have been those who have been through this already. I would put it down to stress but I'm really not sure the level of stress I have along with my self care should amount to the symptoms I've been experiencing.