The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

This was my first AF Christmas and it was strange, and there was a bit of temptation, but I managed to say no and just stick to flavoured tonic water. I am so proud of myself. I usually start Christmas Day with bucks fizz then progress to just champers and then spirits later on! I had scoured the earlier threads for ideas of nice AF drinks to try and I am glad I was prepared, as I think that made all the difference. My DD has been getting up at 5am, so by 8.30pm Christmas Day, I was tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and had a blissful night's sleep

I've just placed an order with Drydrinker online and they have given me. Referral link so sharing in case anyone is interested drydrinker.com?ref=26940

Hi everyone thanks for your supportive posts! Still
AF and already feeling far more alert in the mornings, despite having a young baby and night feeds etc. Am at a family get together tonight but am driving so have easy excuse not to drive. Am a bit nervous about NYE - staying with in laws and it will just be us and them but they’ll notice me not drinking. Not sure what to say? Don’t want them to think I’m pregnant again!!
Hope you’re all feeling well

Easy excuse not to DRINK I mean!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yes indeed, I don't i ever realized this until recently. I remember my grandmother warning me years ago how alcohol was a depressive and that I drank too much, I didn't listen. She was a wise woman.

@indiesearcher that's really great, I hope I get to that point.

I have just returned from a Christmas supper st my friends- was offered wine and champagne but drank coke, would have loved to have had a drink with my friend but did not. She doesn't have a problem like me, she is measured in her behavior.

Day 3 for me and I’m feeling good. Had a couple of lovely busy days with the family and have so enjoyed being able to drive without feeling resentful and champing at the bit to get home and start drinking. I feel more of a genuine adult when I don’t drink, rather than a fraud and pitying my children for having me as a mum. Reading just the last few posts here and the words proud, loving and blissful jumped out. They say so much about the rewards of sobriety. Onward!

I got totally blindsided today in Aldi of all places. I don't usually avoid the booze aisle- I prefer to stare it down and sweep past it with what I imagine to be a Mona Lisa smile and a haughty hair flick (I'm pretty sure I actually look like a gurning idiot with a neck twitch.) However a bottle of Provence rose caught my eye today, and I felt my whole body flush with a warm glow, and... I lingered- just for a moment- before walking past. Then I saw a fruity coconut rum which made my tastebuds ACTUALLY twitch. I caught ahold of myself, actually chuckled out loud (see-gurning idiot) and pushed my trolley quickly past the danger zone but it was an uncomfortable moment. A moment- nothing more. But still a heavy moment! When I got back to the car I did some breathing and then I had a think about what had triggered me. It had been a beautiful bright and sunny day today, and I had been listening to that silly Steps song on the radio on the drive to the supermarket. The lyrics are so full of hope that spring is coming- sunlight is just around the corner; the warm skies are changing, 100 years of winter erasing, all the pain is melting....

Summer is always my worst trigger- 4pm on a hot sunny afternoon is my nemesis! I think subliminally I was romanticising the end of winter in my mind, and I wasn't prepared for it appearing in glorious liquid form out of the corner of my eye.

So- the whites of my knuckles are gradually returning to pink. I did some single nostril breathing (hard recommend for this amazing anti-panic technique btw) in the car as soon as I had dumped the shopping in the boot and I was completely fine within a few minutes. So pleased to have cleared another hurdle and also feeling very humbled because it's good to remember that there will be days like these. Or rather, "moments" like these. Just a fleeting moment, that ultimately passed with some deep slow breathing. Phew!!
Back to work tomorrow; with a clean head!

Great work @Touty and glad to hear you’re feeling good @AfreshAfreshAfresh.

@CardinalCat you were extremely strong in the shop, massive well done. Also you really have a way with words - I totally relate to the gurning idiot with a neck twitch😂 I also have a particular dramatic swagger for cruising through the booze aisle😂 I don’t want to downplay your struggle though - It was an extremely tough moment for you and you did great, very impressive.

I’m generally feeling good at the moment but I’m having some major issues with sleep. I just toss and turn and worry at the moment - About the children, work, my health, anything. The worrying is completely out of proportion (nothing that dramatic is happening in my life) and I KNOW this, yet I can’t seem to sleep properly. I don’t know why this is happening to me, I’m looking after myself really well at the moment in turns of food, exercise, etc. Any tips for battling insomnia😭😭😭

@BunniesBunniesBunnies give that you are awake worrying about things, have you tried journaling? I could send you some info about it. You basically write down what happened, how it made you feel, why you felt that way, what you thought, what assumptions you made, what you have learnt, what you need to do next/next time. I find it works very well for worry (when I can discipline myself to do it!). It would be worth a try at least! X

Last night I had 3 Noseccos and 1 fake G&T. Had a great night sleep and feel amazing this morning. I'm loving this AF/HF life! 🙌🏻

Ah well done @Newmum738 that’s great! And thanks for the tip about journaling. I can’t journal when I wake as I’d have to leave my bed as not to wake OH, but maybe I should try to write out some feelings in the evening so they don’t come to screw me over at 3am😂

I agree with journaling- it's so helpful, people have suggested it to me before and I'd not really tried it until recently but it's amazing because for me it reduces thoughts going round and round in my head and sort of opens up the thought so I can observe it, sit with it.

On the thoughts, I listened to a book the other week that I found really useful about thoughts and how it was the critical voice that you had grown up with but were replacing it with your thoughts rather than someone else's voice. It talked about changing the thoughts so that it was like someone else saying them to you. For example, thought - 'I'm so rubbish at my job' to writing in a journal 'you're so rubbish at your job' this helps to explore and unpick it and it has less power.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies also I would suggest leaving bed and going to write in your journal, hopefully this will be short term and therefore not too disruptive for your other half.

Morning all !

@CardinalCat I can relate to the blindsiding!! It’s so bloody unexpected ..like a physical jolt! Well done on getting past it

Well like clockwork the “ I can moderate “ voice has started . Oh FUCK OFF!!!

Also I’ve decided to still count my days from when I stopped drinking alcohol and not restart from my one evening blip . The blip was not a lapse so that’s what I’ve decided .

Which makes it 115 days today . Im incredibly proud of that and will focus on that today to keep the “ come on you can moderate “ voice at bay

@Adm1010 fair enough I would say. I'm not sure how I'm counting after my blip but I'm still mighty proud of myself since making the decision to be AF 115 days ago and my life has changed significantly as a result. So it's bloody amazing

@Kindtomyself I’m seeing it as one evening , a 2 hour period where I lost the plot . Awful . But not a lapse .

Keep counting the days guys. I think you have to do whatever you feel will be most beneficial for your sobriety, if that is to keep counting then keep counting! A couple of months in a drank an alcoholic beer by accident😭, I kept counting and it worked for me.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yeah I think I need to keep counting at this point . It may change but I’m having a dangerous day today , I can feel it . The moderation voice is niggling at me .

@BunniesBunniesBunnies

Sleep is such a bigger. Agree with writing down your worries before bed. I have a lockable journal, partly because I don't want any of the nosy feckers who live under the same roof as me finding out my innermost thoughts, but partly also because I like the concept of locking those thoughts away once they're down. I find that visualisation therapeutic.

For sleep, I have a few recommendations. I am peri menopausal and find sleep is much better now I'm on HRT. When I'm on my progesterone part of the cycle it's a lot easier. Things that help me- making sure I get enough magnesium (mag glycinate is best for me). I've also used melatonin and l theanine with great success (I buy my melatonin from iHerb- it's legal to buy it from overseas but not legal to sell in the uk). I've found 5htp to be very helpful not just for sleep but for dopamine regulation when coming off alcohol. The brain does eventually require itself but I maybe take 5htp once or twice a week if I'm feeling at all blue or lost and I find it helps (not recommended for anyone on ssri antidepressants though.)
My best sleeps come from using sleep hypnosis on the Aura app- I think I have some free trial referral codes so if anyone wants one, pm me.
And I don't have the desire to try this but my best pal swears by cold water therapy right before bed to help her sleep. Maybe I should try it! She literally jumps in a warm shower and then blasts herself with the cold for 30-60 secs before bed and swears by it.

Bloody BUGGER not bigger. I'm at work today and typing on phone while waiting to go into a meeting so apols for hastily and rambly thrown down typing.

Keep counting @Adm1010 . Brilliant that you are recognising that it's a difficult day. Keep posting if it helps

@CardinalCat that's all useful information. I'd just read some of Davina Macall's info on menopause and she recommended magnesium so I'm going to get myself some.

@Kindtomyself be careful which type of magnesium you go for. Some can have a helluva laxative effect (and is actually poorly absorbed.) I like mag threonate and mag glycinate.