My partner has been drinking heavily in the evening for years. We are late 30s, no kids, together 20+ years, stable lives and jobs.
He doesn't appear to get 'drunk' most of the time, but can easily drink a bottle of red wine, perhaps also a beer, sometimes also a large whisky, on a weeknight. At the weekend, he starts mid afternoon and can end up drinking much more. He isn't a nasty drunk. He gets a bit mellow. Snores more. Doesn't always remember things we've talked about.
A few months ago, he said he wasn't going to drink 'in the week' - Mon to Thurs eve. I was so relieved. But he has Fridays off twice a month and so on those weeks it was just Mon to Weds off. Now, if ever he has a 'stressful' day at work, he brings home a bottle. And if I ever want a glass of wine (just the one for me!), he also uses that as an excuse to join in.
I really want him to cut down. I am worried about his future health and that his drinking might eventually escalate. I also worry about our home life together if he feels he needs to drink as a crutch.
He gets upset/annoyed if I ever mention cutting down, or mention that he isn't sticking to his new no week day drinking rules.
What can I do? Have any of you been where I am? Thank you