Anyone drinking 2 bottles of wine a night?

[HildegardeCrowe]

Is there any way back? in my 60s FFS and just wonder if I can ever change. Want to so badly as have a daughter in her early 20s who adores me. Please tell me there’s hope.,

I was at one point. I haven’t drank any alcohol whatsoever for 12 years now. You can stop. You just need to not have any alcohol in the house and don’t buy any. I found initially I had to replace it with a cold fizzy drink - like coke - or something like that to feel I was still having a “treat” rather than just a tea or something and gradually I just stopped missing it.

*I mean, I was at one point drinking that much.

Yup. I have done that. And not even drunk.

I use alcohol to numb my racing mind; my anxiety; my fear.

None of this you'd spot if you met me.

But I've been using a technique called HAMS (YouTube)- harm reduction, not an unrealistic stopping.

It's a good place to start if you know, and feel, you have to reign your drinking in.

Yes at one point I could easily have drunk 2 bottles of wine or more in a night - not every night (apart from one seven week stint in the USA as a youth when I drank a lot every single night) - but now I don't drink. It is doable. I really recommend checking out this book (just have a look at the reviews!) It's brilliant, a real eye-opener and can totally shift how you feel about drinking and makes it easier to just stop, but crucially to still enjoy yourself and not feel deprived. www.amazon.co.uk/Kick-Drink-Easily-Jason-Vale/dp/1845903900/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=jason+vale+how+to+kick+the+drink&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1630792862&sr=8-5

Placemarking to pop back tommorow

Of course there's hope! You know there's a problem & you want to change, which is the first step. You might struggle to deal with it on your own so look into getting some support. You could speak to your GP or search online for alcohol support services in your area. Please don't be embarrassed, you'd be amazed how many people are dealing with the same issues as you.

There is always hope.

And the liver can repair itself. Not indefinitely though. So see your GP and get some help. You can do this.

The fact that you are asking and are seeking help is an amazing first step

Thank you all. I just feel a bit hopeless because I’ve been a heavy drinker all my life but not to this extent. I’m also on a highly addictive drug called Pregabalin (for a severe anxiety disorder) which in me causes huge alcohol cravings. I know I need to come off it which scares me because it does help with the anxiety. But being an alcoholic is I guess worse than being highly anxious.

Have you looked at what caused your anxiety?

Are you aware of a past trauma or complex / dysfunctional family background which has harmed you emotionally?

It might be good to get support to address that so the root cause of the anxiety and consequently the problem drinking is dealt with first.

This is a brave first step pasting here.

Your daughter will want and need you more than you know.

I hope you can source support.

This is perhaps a stupid question so please forgive me, but are you drinking so much because you don’t get drunk if you drink less nowadays and it’s the being drunk that makes you be able to cope so you try and get to that place asap so presumably you start early, like morning, and hope to get to that place early in the day and then it’s just a case of top ups to keep you there?

Or are you fine in the day but are promising yourself I’ll start at teatime and tonight will be fine?

ie is there a time you “need” it (evening perhaps) or it is it all day every day?

What happens if you can’t drink, say you’re out for the day with your daughter or are driving to the shops during the day so you can’t drink for hours prior? Do you feel sick or shake?

What was the pattern yesterday and what will it likely be today?

I’m sorry if it’s hard to think about. I’m not trying to be a pain in the neck. I’m just thinking that a starting place is to look at just now and work out what seems like a way of improving things a little.

I'm 41 and drinking 2 to 3 bottles of wine a night so I can relate to you. Every night is a haze.

I haven't had a drink since Friday and I got myself the 30 day alcohol experiment as I really need to prove to myself that I can do it.

I went out on Wednesday and Friday night last week, I got drunk both nights and right now, I have a huge case of beer fear, I feel nervous anxious, my stomach is a twist of knots, I know I didn't do anything stupid on Friday as i remember coming home. But I text my friend from Wednesday on Thursday and she's yet to reply so I'm praying I haven't been a dick. My other friend text so I'm sure it's fine but I don't 100% know and I think that is causing my beer fear. That and maybe I'm scared of actually giving up alcohol....

I'm determined to complete this 30 day experiment and reassess my relationship with alcohol because once a bottle is open, it gets finished. I don't want to drink like this anymore. I want to be present of an evening, sleep better and not be so hungover every day and getting through day just to start the whole process again.

Good luck OP!! If I can do it, I'm sure you can!!

There was a question on the weight loss thread recently that asked if you are a moderator or an abstainer.

So can you do two glasses of wine or 2 biscuits and then be done or do you then go on to demolish the bottle of wine / packet of biscuits.

Or is having the two glasses/biscuits worse than having none at all because those two are just opening the floodgates - and it’s never 2?

If you manage stuff by abstaining - then it’s looking at the different times and places the opportunity of a couple of glasses / biscuits presents it self and having a mindset for each of those.

Maybe start with not having wine/biscuits in the house on x night, then x and y days etc - so that you are abstaining on that day or that evening. Approaching it in increments maybe and congratulating yourself for getting through that evening.

@HildegardeCrowe how are you today?

Hello lovely ladies, thank you for thinking about me. My tolerance is very high now and I can drink 2 bottles and just about function. I have however been passing out quite early in the evening and not phoning people when I should, causing huge upset. I’ll come clean to the GP when I see her face to face tomorrow (I begged and she’s the only person I trust to help me). Bloody hell, I’m doing 20 units a day which is more than I should be doing in a week. Weight piling on too even though I haven’t cooked a proper meal in days. I hope you’re all ok x

How are you doing today OP?

Does your daughter comment on your drinking?

What does a normal day look like for you?

No practical advice on stopping, seek professional advice before stopping.
Your DD really needs it.

That’s great you have a doctors appointment tomorrow.

Hope you get some help and can start doing whatever you need to do right away and are able to give your daughter a big hug soon, knowing what you’re doing now will extend your life for her, as she needs her mum

Yes DD (now 21) has unfortunately been exposed to my drinking for a long time but doesn’t know how bad it is currently. She’s going back to uni next weekend to do a post-grad course so won’t see how bad things are and so want to be better for her when she next comes home. A normal day? I go to work and am productive and efficient but am terrified they I’m going to start drinking on the job. May well ask GP for Antabuse tomorrow- it’s not the answer but may help in the short term.

Well done for booking the GP appointment OP. The first step is often the hardest but you are brave to ask to help and yes there is definitely a way back.

I'm currently three months alcohol free after being a daily drinker for about 10 years. William Porters book "Alcohol Explained" really helped me. The first 5 chapters are free online. Even if you opt for Antabuse it's helpful to change your thinking around alcohol. The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace is fantastic too.

Best of luck at your appointment tomorrow x

Its great that you have acknowledged that you have a problem.and have an appt with GP. I sincerely hope that they can steer you in the right direction and help.

I hope.for your sake and your daughters sake that you can give up and be in recovery. It is a very difficult undertaking..alcoholism is such a horrible disease.

Good luck tomorrow.
Try the alcohol support section here, lots of hand holds and help.

So grateful for your help and advice. I have severe anxiety too which has been masked by the alcohol and a horrible drug called Pregabalin which I must come off too. As I’m sure you know, so many of us drinkers have mental health issues too and I’m dreading how I’m going to feel once I’m alcohol and drug-free. But it’s the only way to go, I really know that.

Good luck @HildegardeCrowe

What you're doing is so brave and it will get scary but there is another thread on here about the positives of not drinking so read that every time you have a wobble. It's helping me.

I've gone 2 days now without a drop of alcohol, my head is clearer, my skin looks better already and I've lost 2lbs already. Normal consumption would have been probably 5 to 6 bottles over the weekend so that also 30 to 40 quid saved too.

You can do it

@HildegardeCrowe

How did you get on at the doctors yesterday?