I need to quit alcohol

[Nam3chang3r1]

And for the first time I really want to. I had an honest conversation today for the first time ever with DH and admitted that my alcohol consumption is far too high and this needs to change.

My health is suffering, recent blood tests showed my liver results were too high, I'm having these repeated soon. I've gained a lot of weight too. I'm disgusting. On a lot of medication so shouldn't even be drinking but I'm binging every weekend. Can easily drink 18 units and feel alright the next day. Where do I start? I just need to get this under control. I'm so embarrassed.

Hello!

Well done you. Don't be dismayed, you're on the right bus now.

So.... do check out the long running sober thread on here, it's full of lovely people. Also Google SMART recovery and listen in on one of the online Zoom meetings (don't worry, you dont have to turn on your camera or mic, you can just listen in the background if you want, tonnes of people do) it's CBT based recovery - no God stuff, just tips.

Then download This Naked Mind and Alcohol Lied to Me (there's SO much great quit lit out there but these are great starting ones).

Get yourself some B Vitimins - alcohol rinses your body of B Vitimins.

Then gird your loins, grit your teeth and....stop. Use the thread and the meetings for support. I promise you it's doable if you throw yourself into it and take it seriously. Don't over-think it at this stage. Don't get caught up in thinking "oh but what about holidays/weddings" etc. just focus on being sober today. Then repeat. Good luck!

@Hangingover thank you so much for taking the time to write all this brilliant advice! I'll check it all out. Just what I need - some direction.

No problem. It's so lonely when you're in the process of making the decision but once you've made it it gives you so much peace and focus.

There's some really interesting science behind that actually but I won't bore you with it... suffice it to say it's true that things get easier once the decision is made!

I honestly thought I would never be able to get sober. I thought I was the one that was too weak and too addicted. And I'm sober nearly a whole year!

@Hangingover that's an amazing achievement, well done. I started reading the Naked Mind last night, really interesting book. Thanks for the recommendation.

I recognise Hangingover . Congrats on nearly a year!

One day at a time op.

A couple of years ago I really wanted to give up, I didn’t even manage dry January! I kept drinking, kept thinking about how I needed to quit but didn’t think I’d ever manage it. Last year, I had really had enough so decided to stop.

I ordered the unexpected joy of being sober and read it cover to cover. I wasn’t at Catherine’s level of drinking but reading about her struggles made me more determined.
www.amazon.co.uk/Unexpected-Joy-Being-Sober-alcohol-free-ebook/dp/B0721L1L39?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

December 2020 was the first sober Christmas & New Year for 32 years. I’m now 45 weeks sober. I’m not going to lie, the first few months were difficult, at times and I felt worse than when I was drinking! Now I rarely think about it. I love not waking up at 3am dehydrated and gagging for a drink with my head pounding.

no one ever regrets not drinking

Just take it day by day.

Great advice.

When you know you want to stop it makes it easier to reach out for what ever level of help you need (for me personally that was a medical detox). But I can assure you I've never looked back. I don't miss drinking at all. (Just coming up 1 year 8 months sober.)

All I've had is wonderful positives in my life that make me regret taking so long to let go of something which hurt me so much.

There's so much support out there now without the AA style stuff.

Good luck.

I'd love to join you. I am desperate to quit. I drink a bottle of wine a night, shamefully, sometimes more. I have doubled in weight in just 3 years and every day is a struggle to stand and walk for long periods of time. Help.

Thank you pp for your support and advice. It's so helpful.

@Seeleyboo please join me. My weight has increased a lot too and I'm in constant pain because of a chronic illness. This would still be there if I lost weight but not as much.

I feel optimistic that I can do this but weekend will be the real test, I've drank heavily every weekend for years and often in the week too. I justify it because I work hard all week. I'm sick of making excuses.

I've started reading the book mentioned earlier in the thread- the naked mind. I've spent some time educating myself on what I'm doing to my body too. Do you have anyone in real life you can talk too? Please do speak to them if you do. Good luck!

I will join you. I have really struggled in the past to get it under control, but I know that I have to stop.
Yesterday I went out, drank 2 bottles of wine, and another half when I got in. I then did something absolutely mortifying, and let's just say, I'm lucky no one was hurt.
Enough is enough. I've given up before but it always crept back in.
I'm serious this time ! Today was effectively day 1. Of course, I'm hungover ( don't really drink on a hangover, but I have done). So, am lucky forward to Day 2 tomorrow and a better, healthier future.

Can I join too? Im a bottle of wine a day, it killed my dad, but here I am in my 50s still drinking. Problem is, I want to. How does one turn off the want??

Hi OP,

If you are looking for support and direction please check out the web based membership clubs like "one year no beer" or "soberistas". I tried the first one and it has been a game changer! Now 130 days without a single drop of alcohol. And I can really thank the membership in OYNB for it.
They send you emails every day and really make you think- not just about why you drink, but what you want to do with your life 😏
I wake up every day exited and happy- the magic starts to happen around the three months mark - and I have honestly perhaps never been so contented in my grown up life. All my work and personal relationships has improved tremendously. Most importantly my relationship with my kids have never been better.

Yes it's hard - I drank about 15 mugs of tea and had at least two bars of chocolate every day in the beginning- but gradually you wake up and you start recognising a younger, more hopeful version of yourself. I feel I can do anything now that I am not drinking - and to think that I thought I had to drink to make my life interesting!!!

you got everything you needed to become who you intended to be (OYNB quote)

Welcome aboard @Amdone123 and @MSA60. Some great advice on this thread.

@spanishdreamcometrue thank you, I'll check this sites out. I like the idea of receiving a regular email, I need to be held accountable. That's partly why I started this thread, it makes it real.

I've three kids, one of whom is very demanding and I suffered severe PND with. However, she's 5 now and I want to be on top form to enjoy them properly. Alcohol ruins my mood, I want to kick the antidepressants, first though, alcohol needs to go!

Morning, all. Hope you're all ok. I went to bed last night with a headache, but felt relieved that that would be the last hangover ever. I felt so happy when I woke, had a great night's sleep, and actually feel peaceful knowing I'm never drinking wine again. There was no conflict like I usually have (moderating does not work for me). I am not drinking wine again full stop. @Hangingover, you're so right about peace and focus.
And even though I'm nearly 54, and wished I'd never started, at least I'm doing it now. No regrets, just moving forward.
Have a good day, everyone. I even feel at peace knowing that I'm not worried about the weekend ( when I did Dry January, 26 days, I think, the weekends were absolutely lovely and productive!).

I'd like to join please. It's taking over

@MSA60

Can I join too? Im a bottle of wine a day, it killed my dad, but here I am in my 50s still drinking. Problem is, I want to. How does one turn off the want??

I turned off the want by reading alcohol lied to me by Craig Beck. Hanging also recommended it. I can honestly say it was a miracle cure. I went from a daily drinker to a happy non drinker overnight. I'd tried to stop before through willpower and a flirtation with AA. I enjoyed AA but found they told me I would one day enjoy life without booze. What they didn't tell me was how. This is the cruelty of booze. We are so conditioned to see it as a joy in life when the reality is that it causes suffering and misery for so many. What quit lit does especially Alcohol Lied to Me is unpick your beliefs around alcohol and you will never see it in the same light again. 2 years and 2 months Alcohol Free and I absolutely love my life without it. I am never going back to it and such is the power of my new beliefs around alcohol that I even feel sorry for those who only drink small amounts

I had heard a lot about Craig Beck, so listened to him the other night. He was talking about how we drink in the false belief it releases anxiety and makes you feel calmer ! I'd only been listening for 10 minutes when I thought how true ! The first glass might. But after that, it's all downhill ! Am definitely going to listen to him again.

Hi please can I join? I am done,
I hate myself. Just emailed aa I don't want this anymore. I can't do this. I am an awful person I have tried before and failed. This has to be it, will start with the books again but so scared I will fail

Oh I also forgot to say. Almost all the time your evening cravings will stop when you eat some food, so eat dinner earlier. This tip saved me more than any other.

@Rupertpenrysmistress, you are not an awful person. And you didn't fail. At least you had a go. You just need to keep trying and you will do it. It takes courage to recognise you have a problem and even braver to do something about it. Keep posting, we can support each other.
@Hangingover, definitely. If I eat a proper meal, I want a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. If I don't eat and have a glass of wine, I always end up on the road to nowhere.

How are we all getting on ? Day 5 here, feeling great and not dreading the weekend.

I managed 6 days disappointed with myself but still determined. How's everyone else got on?

@Nam3chang3r1, well done for 6 days, that's really good. Don't be disappointed, look at the positives. I'm on day 7. Feeling great. Yesterday was a hard day ( not regarding alcohol, but general life admin and the weather was depressing me). I nearly caved and pressed the sod it button but I didn't. And am glad.
Keep on keeping on, everyone.

@Amdone123 well done! Weekends are always going to be the biggest challenge. I'm still determined and positive. I've got a repeat liver function blood test this week- so nervous!

@Nam3chang3r1, I think anyone would be nervous about that, but, you can't turn back time. You can only move forward.
And thanks. Weekends are difficult. It's my sister's birthday next Saturday and she wants to go out. That will be a challenge but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I have a Zumba class Sunday morning so I'm going to keep that in mind, as I've really missed my classes.