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Alcohol support

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Original poster

My husband of 35 yrs was crying today

41 replies

Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 09:42

Because I cannot let go of alchohol. He is supportive, controling, threatening, loving. I dont know how to stop it. This quarantine has totally destroyed me.

OP posts:
nimbuscloud · 29/01/2021 09:43

Call your doctor this morning and ask for help.
How much are you drinking?

TheVanguardSix · 29/01/2021 09:47

Are you willing to stop?

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:11

I drink a 6-8 beers for one week, then stop for 3-4 weeks, then whatever bad happens, it gets me down and start again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:11

Obviously, arent we all?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:13

But its the pain inside I cannot let go, this quarantine completely ruined me.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 29/01/2021 10:13

6-8 beers a week hardly seems to excessive
Is that all in one day? Are you a binge drinker?
How are you when you drink? Aggressive?
What is the problem here?

Lujie · 29/01/2021 10:13

Is that 6-8 per day for a week?

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:14

I mean per day

OP posts:
Pomegranatemolasses · 29/01/2021 10:14

Call your gp, ask for support. Willpower alone isn’t enough. Read as many quit lit books as you can. Join some of the online threads on Mumsnet. Your life can be so much better.

AlternativePerspective · 29/01/2021 10:14

Your starting point is, do you want to stop? If yes then you have to do it for you. If no, then you have to reconcile yourself to what you potentially will be giving up in favour of alcohol, your marriage, your family, your friends. Does alcohol mean enough to you to give all that up?

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:15

No per day. I drink at home, alone, in my bedroom, never go out or drink outside the house

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:16

No, I dont want to ruin my family, I want to stop. I said today would be the last day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:18

I drink when I am very sad, when I cannot control things (e.g. quarantine), etc. I drink to forget now. And in the 3rd beer I am kind of relaxed. Then I cannot stop.

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 29/01/2021 10:18

Then you need to speak to your GP and get some professional help.

Look for support groups, online if need be.

You’re not the first and you won’t be the last who has been here, but you need to be proactive in finding ways to quit, and that is likely to involve admitting to an outsider/s that you have a problem and then getting help to deal with it.

thenewduchessofhastings · 29/01/2021 10:19

@Mumwithissue

Your never going to stop without professional support

Are you in touch with Alcohols Anonymous?

You can go to daily zoom meetings until they meet in person again

Please consider this for the sake of your family

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:19

the GPs are overwhelmed. I dont want to burden them with this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:21

I cannot do AA. I know the 12 steps, I have read a ton of books but (and I am sorry if I offend anyone), surrender to God, I cannot do.

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 29/01/2021 10:22

The GP will want to help you. Saying they're overburdened with covid is an excuse - are you ready to stop?
If you want to save your marriage call the GP today. They will be glad you called and be very helpful.
Do you have grown up DC? Do they know? Could they help you stay accountable?

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:30

has any of you been in this position?

OP posts:
Pomegranatemolasses · 29/01/2021 10:34

There are many options available other than AA. Look online- Annie Grace and Jason Vale are both good. Covid is not an excuse to avoid the GP, they will be happy to help you.

quarentini · 29/01/2021 10:36

Op my best friend is an alcoholic.
He hasn't had a drink for 5 years .
What I am about to say will sound harsh but it's true ..,,
You can not stop because you are making excuses as to why you can't
GPS are open and available
Support groups are available
You are choosing alcohol over everything else and you will loose everything and everyone if you do not reach out to your Gp and choose to get help .
Please ring your Gp

Original poster
Mumwithissue · 29/01/2021 10:37

It is very harsh but I appreciate your input.

OP posts:
Cosmos45 · 29/01/2021 10:38

Do you want to stop? I know it can be hard. I am not sure if you have access to finances but I know of someone who went to a private clinic and was prescribed Naltrexone (google sinclair method). I know it really helped him - it is an opiate blocker and over time decreases the desire to drink. He too was not wanting to go to the GP or join AA either. These options do not suit everyone and I know I would not be keen on AA either if it were me.

Tiredmum100 · 29/01/2021 10:41

Do you honestly think you have a problem?

If you know in your heart of hearts you do then you must get help. Sounds like you may have depression? In my experience until a person is willing to admit and accept they have a problem then accept help there is little that will change. People can change their ways and do. My dad is a great example of this. A year ago he was in hospital on deaths door through his years as an alcoholic. He hasn't drunk since and is a different person. I am so happy he changed his ways before it was too late. I dont think for a second think its been easy for him but I'm proud of what he's achieved. I'm still a bit sad we spent so many years with his drink causing problems for all the family. And it does. It makes for a very miserable life for people who live and love with an alcoholic.

Whitecup4 · 29/01/2021 11:12

6-8 a day! Your literally killing yourself! How do you expect your organs to process that.

Your husband is probably crying because he is going to loose you ahead of your time.

I don’t have any advice as I have no understanding of this habit or how people can’t stop drinking but I wish you the best with it and hope you do stop for your own self.