just stuck on how to help, it's hard to phone and catch her sober, when I ring and she's drunk the call is so sad on my part and she doesn't remember what's been said. We used to travel down monthly (200 miles) to visit, she would sit with us for a while then disappear upstairs for hours, coming down later with her makeup smeared across her face and not making sense. Haven't been as often due to lockdown. It sounds so weird but it's how it is. When she visits us it's the same behaviour of disappearing to her bedroom for 3 hours then coming back down for meals with hair all over the place and being incoherent. Trying to talk about support for moods / drinking are met with hostility. What do I do? Embarrassed for her and my family and worried about what could happen when she's out of it on the drink.