Please may i join your board?

[Littlebyerockerboo]

Ive just wrote this post on a thread, that has hundreds of replies so im worried ill get lost in them all.... so I've copied this here too, with added information... ive just found this board and hoping this could be life changing for me! Ive never had support before.

please may i join? Im so fed up with my life. I cant go two days without reaching for the bottle. Its a horrible cycle and I so want to be free.
Its costing us a fortune.

I have a really high tolerance to alcohol so can drink beer and harder spirits without much effects. I also start smoking when drinking.

Yesterday I had 4 beers, 2 glasses of wine (and that's a very slow day as I was trying to be mindful of my consumption) and smoked almost 20 cigarettes.

I'm so beyond it. Ive been living this way (and worse) for about 4 years now, prehaps longer -

Its aged me beyond belief and I just cannot afford to be living this way.

I would love to be free of alcohol and smoking. I just don't know how. A couple of years ago I did do dry January, I dont know how I managed but I did. I wish i had stayed sober afterwards.

My DP drinks also and during lockdown we have the locals from the pub turning up at our house, sometimes absolutely smashed - because my DP would allow them in, last night I had 3 people come over to the house with beer, DP and i said over the weekend we wouldn't drink this week and then build it up to longer amounts... we didnt even last 2 days.

Today is a new day, im always telling myself, but i always slip back.

Even going to my mother's, she encourages me to "have a drink with her" she lives alone and sees me coming around as a change to let loose. When I dont have a drink im told i am boring and don't do anything with her, despite the fact she knows im struggling with alcohol..

I juat want to get off this hamster wheel, sometimes i feel like drinking has come before my DS - ie. Nights in the pub, sitting in the dining room with a drink instead of playing with him.

Seeing it all written down makes me so sad.

Im really hoping for no judgement, but support and hopefully I can get it here....

Hopefully today will be day one. All I have to do is not drink alcohol!!!!

Any tips please? Xx

For tips I’d suggest reading back over previous threads. If you start at the beginning there’ll be people talking about finding their way through the early days so ideal for you now:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3781271-Dry-January-2020-A-new-relationship-with-alcohol-Who-s-joining-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3796884-Dry-January-2020-thread-2-keeping-it-dry

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

As well as that, do just keep joining in with the current thread. If you post how you’re doing, any questions etc, you won’t get lost.

Your situation with your partner sounds horrible. I feel for you there. (People visiting your house during lockdown is a whole other problem.)

You’ll see this recommended a lot on the threads, it might be a good starting point for you:

learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration

Tagging you in case you haven’t seen this, @Littlebyerockerboo. Don’t give up trying, come back and join us on the current thread. It’s definitely worth giving it as many tries as it takes. 👍🏽

Hi,
I posted this on another thread, but The Sober School, run by Kate B seems to be a good resource. I’m not claiming it has completely stopped me drinking forever ( 20 days in ), but the videos are really uplifting. I’m just taking one day at a time.

Hello,
Thank you for those who have taken time to reply to my post. I felt a little bit disheartened when I didnt see replies.
I am actually on...... DAY 4!

last Friday, I put a sign on the door telling people no visitors, hoping to stop just anyone knocking and thinking they can come over for drinking. It seems to have worked.
The pubs reopen this weekend so I'm hoping that I means the people who have been using my house as a glorified pub will go elsewhere.
Last night DP was stressed and had about 4 drinks. Offered me, more than once and I said no.
I still smoked about 5 ciggies during the day, but i know not to be too hard on myself. I cant give everything up at once.
So, day 4 - i know it doesn't seem like much, but it is much to me.
So proud to have got to day 4.
Thanks again for the replies, im going to take the advice and check all the links for more motivation!
Xx

Day 4 is fantastic, good for you taking control of your life. Keep going! I drink too much too and am just about to try to knock it on the head.

4 days is a great start and you are taking steps to stop. It must be difficult with your dp offering you drinks so well done.

I am only day 5 again we all have our story to share. I am so fed up of wasting my life. I am doing sober in 7 at the moment and listening to the 30 day alcohol experiment.
I feel positive but a bit fed up.

Hope you are feeling positive today. I pop in and out of the threads but like to read them, you will always find someone with a similar story.