For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a ‘problem drinker’. I’m a classic binger. Once I start drinking I can’t stop. I used to drink 3/4 nights a week but made sure I only had a limited amount of booze in so I couldn’t get drunk. If I ever went out drinking with friends, I’d be the hammered one and have blackouts pretty much every time. This led to anxiety that lasted for days after a night out (not to mention shame/guilt etc).
I sometimes went weeks/months without drinking to prove to myself that I could but then I’d go back to it.
Anyhow, early last year I gave up for about 4 months but then decided to try again. I started drinking just one night a week. I’d phone my friend and we’d chat on the phone for a couple of hours, both having a bottle of wine. Inevitably I would polish off the whole bottle and, if I had more in (I made sure I only had one bottle in the house), I would have started on that.
We now meet up with other friends on Zoom every Saturday night. Get pissed and talk rubbish. It’s a fixed weekly event and I enjoy it. I still get a bit of beer fear the next day but I’ve learned to manage that.
I was talking to a colleague in work and she said I shouldn’t be doing this as it will inevitably lead to full blown alcoholism. She’s a recovering alcoholic (11 years sober) Is she right? I’ve been doing the ‘Allow myself to get drunk once a week’ thing for over a year now so I think it’s sustainable. I really wish I could drink like a normal person but I can’t. My mum is an alcoholic and I don’t want to end up like her.
My partner is tee total due to severe migraines and he has said that, although he isn’t keen on me drinking, he’s okay with one night a week providing I don’t wake him up/talk nonsense at him.
Any thoughts from people in the know?