I’m so lost! I need help!

[Magic48]

My husband has heavy drunk for about 12 years, I never knew until a year after we were together as he got so good at hiding it with his last wife and he is a high functioning alcoholic, I got him off the whiskey when I fell pregnant which was great but now he has either 2/3’s a bottle of high distilled vodka or 4-5 1.25L of cider a night! I have tried counselling for myself as he won’t go al—anon cannot do anything more for me and my almost three year old deserves a happy family who has sober parents (or just not drinking silly! I can’t even drink it anymore as it just makes me mad, the foul smell that comes off him and fills our room in the mornings is nauseating and sometimes he is still over the limit in the mornings (we are self employed and work together) help! I’m loosing myself

He has this expensive breathtester device to use in the mornings, I know when he is over because he procrastinates and says he will stay home while I take DD to childcare, he use to have a sneaky drink while I was out which he hasn’t done since I approached him in not a very nice way and told him I was going to the police and my counsellor and disappeared for 2 hours so he got a fright then, that was a year ago and he has only drunken once in the morning since then apart from obviously every weekend; he had one night off a while back to try it and he got the sweats, hallucinated, shaked and became really agitated; I just can’t work out why he hasn’t gottrn really sick yet

He's well on his way to getting really sick. It would be dangerous for him to stop suddenly. He should not go cold turkey. Like fuck would I rely on a breathalyser to decide if my child could be driven around by an alcoholic who becomes ill if he doesn't drink. I'm surprised you believe what he says about when he doesn't drink in a morning, because he's a full-blown alcoholic.

Trust me it’s hardly ever as most of the time he doesn’t want to come out with us and doesn’t really help with getting her ready for anything, I bet if I asked him to change a nappy he would have to think about how to do it and he certainly wouldn’t know where they were (not that they are hidden) but regardless of how little he interacts with her she still asks after him if he isn’t around and says good night at night even if he has knocked himself out on the couch, it’s really all quite sad, all I ever wanted was a together family

Next time he drives off and is over the limit I’d phone the police and get him arrested

That doesn’t happen because he hides at home or checks before he goes out but i would do it if I needed too to tell him it’s pretty serious