Bloody facebook!

[chegirlmonkeybutt]

Had a friend request from DS's birth mother.
(family adoption).

Thats it really. Dont wish to rant and divulge but its really not a good thing.

Here we go again....

Thanks for the sympathy 5

I dont think I have the energy for her at the moment. Dont want to deal.

block her.

How do you do that? If I block her will she know? She will feed off any reaction.

There is a teeny tiny part of my brain that is thinking 'maybe she really wants to be part of his life, maybe she has changed'

You would think I would have bloody learnt by now wouldnt you? Thats the problem when she does this sort of thing. I so want to believe she has changed.

But she cant. I really think she has something undiagnosed. She is so egotistical. Its like talking to a toddler/teenager/diva/big brother contestant all rolled into one.

Go into your account setting and click privacy settings. At the bottom is the Block button. Block her now before she causes you any uneccessary upset.

Ignore, block and hope she goes away.

and make sure she can't see your photos in the meantime ...

Thanks for that info.

I dont put any photos of him anywhere. I wont even let him go on the school website.

Its not because I want to deny her photos for the sake of it. She has some horrible MySpace pages where she calls herself a MILF and has pictures of herself half naked next to the names of the children.

I dont want my DS's photos on those sites.

sorry to hear that, chegirl

Sorry, but why is it "bloody facebook"'s fault? If you go on there, (and I do) then you are putting yourself into the public eye. If you really want to keep DS safe away from his birth mother then you shouldnt have ever joined. She probably feels like he's missing from her life no matter what the circumstances for his adoption, and just wants to see pics of him, as any mother would.

Helpful, Sukie. And sensitive.

Sukie, being on facebook makes fuck all difference as she knows where I live and has my mobile number.

She has these because I wanted her to have regular contact with her birth son.

She chose not to.

Just as she chose not to care for him and asked me to look after him.

I have no problem with her having photos of him, I DO have problems with her posting them on her soft porn website, alongside his name and date of birth. I asked her to remove them before I gave her anymore she told me no. Why should she?

Are you suggesting that I hide from birth mother? Should I move house and change my number?

Do you think that perhaps she could change her behaviour?

Or is she exempt from that? Why?

I am sure she does miss him. I am sure she does love him. Unfortunately not enough to turn up to contacts, write letters that do not promise she is going to sort us out or get out of bed to feed him.

Do not assume you know our situation because of your own experiences.

I only commented due to the title of your post. Im sorry that Ive upset you, that wasnt my intention. In my defence, none of the details youve just divulged were clear on the earlier postings.

But you do appear to be blaming Facebook for the friend request. As others have said, ignore the request or block her.

Again, Im sorry that my post caused offence. I wish you and your DS well.

Apology accepted Sukie

I am sure you can appreciate that this is a sensitive issue for me.

I didnt divulge too much in my OP because I didnt want this to be an anti birthmother rant. Our relationship is complex and she has let me down badly on many occasions but she is still a human being and the mother of my DS.

I understand your feelings about FB, I share them TBH. I think its more of a curse than a blessing.

But I cannot let this woman dictate to me any longer. I (and my family) spent two years living our lives around her demands.

Sorry I snapped so badly. In my defence I have an 11 week old and a school run that starts at 7am (in other words, I am knackered)

Glass of wine and a bar of choc? I dont mind sharing

You are very sweet Sukie and gracious even though I was quite mean to you

mmmmmmm chocolate.

I havent had a drink in blooming ages!

Nothing more to add except a hug and a pat on the back for doing so well with your little one- Your DS is lucky to have you!

chegirl - I am in constant awe of you. I read your posts and wonder how the hell do you cope. You're a marvel . Block her, don't give it another moment's thought and move on.

Do not accept and then block her

can you up your privacy settings so that you dont appear on searches. One of my friends had hers set to that and I could not find her until she requested me. her posts dont show up on other peoples pages either.

it will look like you have de registered.

She wont know if you block her.
Scroll to the bottom of the request there shoukd be and option there to block, or go to your settings and add her name to your block list.

can't you de-register and re-register with a name she won't know, like a nickname....

Isn't there a facility where she could have limited access? Am not an expert about FB, but any kid over 12 would know.

Alternatively, delete any photos of the kids you wouldn't want on a porn site for her to see, and accept her friendship request?