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Original poster

bran and mrbran met their new DD today

124 replies

bran · 06/03/2009 19:05

She is absolutely adorable, I am smitten. She is less smitten with us, but we'll wear her down.

It actually went better than expected - although the planning meeting was dreadful and very long with lots of waffle and needless pedantry.

When we went to meet DD she was still having a nap and I went up with the foster mum to get her up. The foster parents had warned us that she is very wary of strangers and will often cry so we gave her plenty of space and didn't try to rush her into communicating with us. She wasn't too overcome, although she didn't come over to us or smile at us she did let go of her FM after about 30 mins and roamed around the room on her little ride-on toy. FM said it usually took longer for DD to relax enough to get off her lap and go and play.

We are going back tomorrow with DS, he's really looking forward to it.

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Original poster
bran · 09/03/2009 20:24

I think she will form a good attachment KM, once we get over her wariness. We had another good day today, although she still doesn't want to be with us for too long without her FM she is fine for short periods. Today she was playing with us while keeping a weather eye out for her FM, she also let me change her nappy without crying (although I can't say she looked happy about it) and she let DH put her down for a nap. So, all in all, I think it's going as well as can be expected.

I finally got to talk to the carpenter today, the poor guy sounded even more fraught than me. Apparently he backs onto a park and the council were having some trees removed. The contractors who were doing the work obviously made a mistake because one tree came down across 3 gardens, completely taking out the carpenter's workshop as well as part of the back wall of his house. It's incredibly fortunate that none of his kids were playing in the back garden at the time. Everything in the workshop is now matchsticks, so he has borrowed a friend's workshop and has started again with our cabinet. He's hoping to get everything except the doors done while we are away. He's distraught because the contractors didn't have public liability insurance, although hopefully he'll be able to make a claim from the council. I'm sure they must have a financial responsibility for the mistakes of those working for them, or at the least, for making sure that their contractors have public liability insurance.

Anyway, we are having another day with DD tomorrow and then we have Wednesday off. On Thursday we are moving into a holiday let nearby so that we can do longer days including waking routine and bedtime routine.

We are still knackered. Although I expect that will only last until she's school age.

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TheMadHouse · 09/03/2009 20:36

Bran - All the best wishes in the world winging from the Mads to you. I remeber the first time and this is making me smile and also brings a tear to my eye

KristinaM · 09/03/2009 21:04

bran - off topic - your joiner need to contact his OWN insurers first thing tomorrow.he makes a claim to them and they and reclaim it from another party (if possible)

second thing he needs to do is go round and take LOTS of photos of the damage, including detailed photos of equipments tools etc that were damaged. he can also claim business interruption costs

being knackered ends apparently when they all leave home. i will let you knwo if its true if i live that long

mummyBop · 09/03/2009 21:30

Glad to hear all is going well, so far. Good luck with the rest of the introductions and bringing her home with you. You ound like you are doing fabulously.

MBop

PS We're still knackered and our three are all at school!! Off to bed now.

Kewcumber · 09/03/2009 21:47

bran - DS was just the slowest child to bond ever it felt like, he made me work really hard for it and yet within 6 weeks I woudl say of the 5 childrne adopted at the sametime he was probably the best bonded ofthe lot of them.

So exciting - brings back so many memories.

Original poster
bran · 09/03/2009 22:00

He did contact his own insurers KM, but they are claiming that he's not covered because the tree didn't fall down by itself but was being chopped down when it fell in the wrong direction. Anyway, I'm sure he'll be able to sort it out, I'll mention photos though if I speak to him in the next couple of days.

Thanks Kew, I am very optimistic that she has formed such a good attachment to her FM. I hope that she doesn't make us work too hard though as the family finding SW was talking about perhaps needing to stay an extra few days before bringing her home if she doesn't get used to us within the intensive period, and I really would like to bring her home as soon as possible and settle into 'normal' family life.

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Original poster
bran · 09/03/2009 22:01

I'm not encourage by all of you with school age children who are still knackered. At least let me cling to my delusions.

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maryz · 09/03/2009 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bran · 10/03/2009 19:09

La la la I can't hear you. I see no reason why my children can't become completely effort-free as soon as they turn 5. [self-deluding emoticon]

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fryalot · 11/03/2009 12:59

I have a teenager and she makes us cups of tea

when we blackmail her or pay her

beemail · 11/03/2009 19:34

Yes us too daughter 2 (17mths) didn't want to know us and screamed when we held her for a couple of days - felt like an eternity! As with all those in the know I was delighted and of course once she decided we ere OK it went quite smoothly.She was also more smitten with her sister than with us initially. However once she decided I was OK she wanted me all to herself and pushed DD1 away when she came near! Fortunately DD1 was Ok and this was only for a short time.
Maybe when older she'll be able to laugh about it as our daughter does now (13)
Best of luck

hifi · 11/03/2009 20:11

did everyone do the photos before they met their new los? it seemed to make it a lot easier for us. she did a double take when she saw us. it was easier whem fm left out of sight than within.
good luck bran, it will all work out.
feel like doing a hig but will be flamed!

Original poster
bran · 13/03/2009 20:12

Higs are absolutely fine hifi, it's only hugs that are frowned upon here. [grin

Things are going very well. We moved into a holiday rental yesterday which is close-ish to the foster parents so we can do longer hours. We have already done two bathtimes and a bedtime which went quite well. Today we took her and DS out to a soft play place and she was quite happy and very cuddly. She only cried briefly when we were moving her from the car to the pushchair to go in and then again when we pulled up outside the foster family's house.

So the handover is going to plan, but the social workers are getting a bit antsy about our flat not being completely ready. Especially our social worker, we are hoping that they don't suggest delaying the date that she moves in with us. So keep your fingers crossed for us.

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FairLadyRantALot · 13/03/2009 20:29

very exciting....all the best to you all!

maryz · 13/03/2009 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wabbit · 13/03/2009 23:05

Just read the thread bran... how exciting for you all, fingers firmly crossed that your SW sees that you're all ready and doesn't delay your homecoming x

SimpleAsABC · 15/03/2009 21:37

Glad it's all going good. Makes me feel optimistic.

KristinaM · 17/03/2009 17:16

when you are pg , if your house is not completely ready you are made to keep your legs crossed until its done

Original poster
bran · 17/03/2009 19:23

LOL at Kristina.

We are picking her up tomorrow morning and taking her home. Yippee!

Sunday was the big change day. We took her out for the whole day and she was completely relaxed with us. We had also taken her out for short trips on Friday and Saturday and she had been quiet although not crying, but on Sunday she was really quite happy with us. Then yesterday and today she was really thrilled to see us when we walk in each day.

In a way I'm almost sad that the handover is done. We've been having a really fun time for the last few days, it's been more fun than some of our holidays. We've been doing all sorts of touristy things because we're staying away from home. I wonder if DD will be a bit disappointed when we get home and don't have a day out every day.

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KristinaM · 17/03/2009 22:38

great news bran I'm so pleased for you all

thats why both my bio kids were more than two weeks late - my house is a mess

Flower3545 · 18/03/2009 08:01

I hope today goes well for you, sounds like you've had a great time getting to know your lo.

cikecaka · 18/03/2009 08:14

Hi, being following your thread, Just wanted to add my good wishes to you and your lovely family

MinkyBorage · 18/03/2009 13:33

I've been following this lovely thread too, please keep things updated, it's wonderful. Congratulations!!!

wabbit · 18/03/2009 13:44

Hope today goes well for you all bran how lovely it will be when she's all tucked up in her own little bed at your house x

Original poster
bran · 18/03/2009 16:57

We are home. We picked her up at 10am and she didn't cry in front of the social workers (that's my girl ). She had a little nap in the car on the way home and then had another nap in her cot this afternoon. She hasn't been upset at all really, although she doesn't like it much when one of us walks out of the room, especially DS. He's back at school tomorrow so hopefully she won't be too bored without him.

She has gone out for a walk to the park with DH and DS and I'm waiting in for the Ocado man. All is right with the world, except for a nasty cold which we've all caught from her. Even the cabinets aren't as much of an issue as I feared. The carcass and shelves are up with only a little finishing needed and the doors will follow in a week or so. Our social worker (who is bizzarely anxious about the whole unfinished cabinet thing) wanted to come and check the flat this afternoon but fortunately didn't have available time until Friday morning so we have an extra day to make everything completely ship-shape.

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