Helen, I once, to my utter horror and shame, used the phrase "it's not the same as when they are your blood is it" when talking to a friend whose DS is adopted.
The irony is, I was using the phrase in the context of discussing my ex-nanny (who first befriended this lady) and who was prone to handing out advice to her on how to deal with her, at times, bit of a handful DS.
I said something like "that's all very well for her to say, but it's harder when their your own blood, isn't it?". Just meaning, it's sometimes easier for a nanny to take a hard line than it is for a mother who is bonded utterly to the child.
God knows WHY I used that phrase, because it's not something I ever have said before or since - it just sort of, popped out. In the moment I forgot her DS was adopted - it's not something I think about. She's his mother, he's her son.
In fact I meant "it's not the same as being bonded to and loving your child as it's mother". It came out in this really ill-advised way.
It was terribly unpc of me in hindsight, because it suggests I think the bond between parent and child is in some ways dependent on a genetic link, which of course is utter cock.
I am just sharing this story to illustrate, hopefully, that sometimes ill advised phrases pop out of people's mouths that aren't quite as ill-intentioned as they seem.