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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

They said no 🥺

28 replies

Lwren · 12/07/2022 19:13

That's it really.
Firstly because dp and I are in an IVAs, however they do get paid, no mortgage or CT arrears etc.
Our DS has asd and his needs aren't clear for longterm, which I think are, he won't be independent but his needs will always be met.
The rest of the report was wonderful tbh which is fucking worse.
If it had said "you'd both be shite at parenting a kid with trauma" I'd be weirdly happier with that, but for the sake of me losing my employment during the pandemic when finding other employment wasn't too easy, feels quite harsh. And that was the advice given, an iva to ensure our mortgage remained safe etc.
And my sons autism is quite profound admittedly, but he has all the right things in place. He's been diagnosed, he's attending a SEN school, he is thriving at home. We have fought and championed him, we were hoping those skills would be used on another wean who's worlds a bit uncertain.
We've got him in school full time from September and my close friend gives him days out with her for his respite away from us 🤣

I'm unsure if I'm going to continue the idea of adoption. I have been sent away "to reapply in 6 months" quite a few times now and it's really quite painful.

Just wanted to let you know and thank you all so so much for your help and advice this last few months xxx

OP posts:
mumof2many1943 · 20/10/2022 21:13

I am staggered by original poster, we had 3 birth DC’s when we adopted our first AC, he has Down Syndrome since then we have adopted 7 more all with various medical problems, why is this any different to you. You are surely in a more knowledgeable than we were!

Lwren · 21/10/2022 03:29

@mumof2many1943 that's lovely to hear, you've so many wonderful kiddos! ❤🥰❤

We tried again with our LA as the VA needed an "ok" from the LA anyway and they LA said to reapply in 3 months.

They've sent us away for so many times now I'm not trying again.

What's sad is I know so many kids in the community I live who are neglected, no basics met such as dental hygiene or even beds in which they sleep, I know there are teenagers through failed adoptions sleeping in our local hospital as they have no FCs etc who'll take them in due to a shortage.

Soon there will be a huge backlog of children needing homes, especially from my LA (Merseyside) where we've some of the lowest social economic groups. I grew up in one of the roughest Council estates in the UK and I see kids from my schools having children removed quite regularly, it's heartbreaking how much these families are just fucked up through generations of poverty and chaos.
I want to be a mum again, but those are the kids I've watched my whole life and had a longing to parent, because I know coming from what's perceived as scum doesn't have to be defining.

I'm sad we've been sent away so many times and told to reapply again and again, it's too emotive, wanting more children and to get pushed back and back.

Maybe one day though! X

OP posts:
mumof2many1943 · 21/10/2022 18:19

Thankyou, am sure if you lived here you would be snapped up. We went to Coram for one of ours who were brilliant. Good luck and don’t let your experience be wasted. X

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