We recently adopted a second child, and this child has attached to me to the point of no return and literally hates every other adult and person.
It feels as though another adult looks at her and it sets her off crying and she needs a cuddle from me. It feels as though this attachment is very unstable but it’s also ridiculous as I can’t cope with it!
She won’t let my partner do anything and won’t cuddle him at all - or even really play with him. She won’t go to him for anything. My partner feels as though he might aswell not be in this relationship. He tries so hard with her but it literally gets him no where. I have to physically be away from them completely (not even be in the house) for anybody else to get a look in.
She’s been with us for 6 months now and it’s just not improving. We go two steps backward for every step forward. I understand she had a lot of change with the foster cared but I can’t see how to improve it.
I know it’s wrong but I get so frustrated with it as I see my relationship falling apart because of this. I feel like every day I wake up and I have to justify to my partner why we have a second child and why we should stay together as a family.
She is small (nearly two) but my partner says he hates her and I can see why. She’s an utter misery to be around - Constantly on edge of crying. We give her calpol often because we are worried about teething but it’s getting ridiculous now.
I feel so low and I find myself getting so frustrated with her and occasionally getting cross because she is essentially being horrible to my partner. I know she is little and not verbal so it’s very hard to explain and also I understand a lot of it is that she doesn’t get her way - so she cries as this is all she can do.
I want her to go back and to go back to just having one child, but we can’t do that because it would devastate our older child and it would mean bouncing around foster carers for ages.
I just don’t have it in me to be therapeutic when she’s ruining my whole life at the moment!
I don’t think this is post adoption depression it just feels impossible!!!
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31 replies
Newuserusee · 17/02/2022 17:50
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