Starting ball rolling - previous miscarriages

[GoodTennis]

Hi
Just looking for some advice. Diagnosed with unexplained infertility after 2nd miscarriage. Told to lose weight for IVF. didnt...
Didnt really want IVF. the thought of it terrifies me. I always just thought it would happen and it did at the start of the year. Unfortunately that ended in a 3rd miscarriage. It seems that I struggle to get pregnant and then I am unable to maintain a pregnancy. Because Im fat, they dont care why its happening.

As we are into the latter half of our 30s we have decided to just get the ball rolling for adoption. Its something we have been thinking about for years. Prior to this 3rd miscarriage we were booked in to speak to someone and if I am honest, it was a huge inconvenience which has just delayed everything and made this year pretty horrible.

I am excited to look at adoption but its come with a great sadness which I wondered if anyone else has experienced and whether/how you got through it.
I feel like I am grieving the fact we will never have a biological child and at the same time I am so overcome with sadness at the thought of a baby being born into circumstances which leads to them coming to live with us. The unfairness of not being able to take that baby and have the pregnancy myself so I can protect it from day 1 hurts my heart.
We are probably going to do foster to adopt. Fully expecting it to be an emotional rollercoaster

Any advice is welcome and appreciated

Sorry @tinkerbell53 I just realised I didn’t really answer your q! Other than the initial medical showing we had lost and what our bmi was then they took our word for the ongoing losses we didn’t provide any other evidence but we’d always been open from the start and had a good relationship with social worker so I guess he trusted us and weight gain is easy to see so lying about it wouldn’t have gained us anything !

@Donteatpurplebroccoli

Sorry *@tinkerbell53* I just realised I didn’t really answer your q! Other than the initial medical showing we had lost and what our bmi was then they took our word for the ongoing losses we didn’t provide any other evidence but we’d always been open from the start and had a good relationship with social worker so I guess he trusted us and weight gain is easy to see so lying about it wouldn’t have gained us anything !

Thank you! We have been approved but warned that at matching panel they will want to see evidence is sustaining the loss so was just wondering what others did for thiS.

@tinkerbell53 we had the same warning and it was one of the main focuses in panel but we felt well prepared and again we were honest and talked about how we would try and be very balanced around food exercise etc with future children. We did put a bit of weight back on after placement (ffa) and got very stressed about this before matching panel as this came months after our little one moved in but again talked about the massive life change we had had and how we were managing this and aimed to continue managing it as time went by the focus at this panel was much more about our little one than us so it didn’t feel like quite as much of a personal grilling!! Although it was far more terrifying as we were so in love with our little one!! Good luck at approval panel!