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Hellish first night

37 replies

AbsolutelyDoneInNow · 28/06/2021 03:52

It's our first night together after introductions and our poor baby hasn't really slept. I feel like just sobbing and am wondering what the heck have we done?!

Our poor LO is ill (the bloody timing of this!). He has happily slept in his cot for nap times so not sure if this is purely that he is ill or whether it's also the move.

The whole night we have taken it in turns to hold him in our arms, it's the only time he stops fussing. He allows us to comfort him, which I know is positive, he has even drifted to sleep in our arms a few times.

I've rocked, sung, patted all night long and I'm absolutely bloody shattered after what felt like the longest week of introductions. He responds better to me than DH.

I've got no idea what to do about routine tomorrow! I mean it's 3:50am and he has probably slept lightly in our arms for about 4 hours I reckon. He had a bottle because I was trying to rule out other sources of discomfort. He is used to sleeping 12hours a night!!!!

I can now hear him wailing with DH. The night hours are so long aren't they.

OP posts:
gordongrumpy · 05/08/2021 18:39

Grin So pleased for you.

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/08/2021 18:56

Well done you, glad to hear you’re feeling more settled.

Whywhatwho · 05/08/2021 20:25

What a magical update!!

SilenceOfThePrams · 06/08/2021 07:00

Brilliant! So pleased for you.

specialcase · 07/08/2021 08:58

So glad to hear the update!

Foxhasbigsocks · 13/08/2021 00:57

Ah op lovely update. He sounds a total darling and you sound so happy to have him home Flowers

As I’m sure you know, night waking is still normal in birth dc right up to age 4 at least. I really like the BASIS site for evidence based info on child sleep - made me feel like I was doing everything ok!

2old2beamum · 13/08/2021 16:34

At last some happy news. He sounds a little poppet. So pleased for youFlowers.

GeorgeAnneAndTimmytoo · 13/08/2021 17:43

Ah love this update ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Angelina1972 · 07/09/2021 06:16

Not read whole thread. I’m adopted and I really think you need to have him with you at all times right now. No strict routines imposed on him. And co sleep with him. He needs a lot of comfort and nurturing at this time.

This stage doesn’t last for ever.

AbsolutelyDoneInNow · 07/09/2021 18:54

Funnily enough I came back to say that things are bloody shitty again now. Every single piece of shit that life can throw at us has happened. LO is catching every illness going, teething with what feels like a million teeth and struggling to adapt to family members going back to work.

Bedtimes are now just hysterical screaming, no matter what. He sobs himself to sleep at nap and bedtime. Doesn't matter if you hold him, pat him, walk round with him, leave him, sing to him, let him have his bottle. It makes no difference. My ears are ringing.

Right now I can hear him screeching at my husband hysterically instead because I was about to lose it. So I'm now back to wondering what the hell we have done.

I KNOW what everyone will say. It's still early days/he is ill/still settling/has lost so much/has had so much change.

I KNOW that but being screamed at and being woken with screaming constantly in the night doesn't make me feel like a lovely therapeutic parent.

I'm back to wondering why the hell we did this again.

OP posts:
gordongrumpy · 07/09/2021 19:04

Oh love, that's exhausting. Passing miracle sleepy dust your way, and I hope this passes quickly. Sleep deprivation is utterly grinding.

flapjackfairy · 08/09/2021 15:47

Oh that sounds v tough. But you already recognise the mitigating factors affecting him which is brilliant. You are obviously in tune with his needs and emotional.reactions which bodes well for the future.

I have been there with a child that screamed for hours every day for several months and it was brutal.
Do you have any time away from your child
Can you leave him with your partner to go for coffee with a friend for a short break for example
. Just short bursts of freedom help a lot.
This phase will pass . I know it seems endless now but it will and the world will be the right way up again one day soon so try to just deal with one day at a time and dont get overwhelmed by thinking ahead. X

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