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Original poster

Anyone else worried about the return to school?

51 replies

SimonJT · 14/08/2020 17:44

Is anyone else dreading going back to school?

My little one (going into year 1) found the transition into reception really hard and morning drop off only stopped being a trauma for him around February time. He had always found transitions difficult, but school has been a big issue. We were accessing play therapy, I continue this as home but it just isn’t as effective as professional input and I’m worried that all the work we put in from September to March is potentially a waste.

We did a few days at school in July, they were all a bit of a disaster, so I’m essentially crapping myself that shows how he is going to cope, or not cope in September.

Has anyone else got a serious case of the wobbles about going back to school?

OP posts:
sunshineandskyscrapers · 14/08/2020 19:40

My DS is going into reception at a school he has never been in. There has been no transition programme, which would usually be in the summer term. DS has seen his teacher in an introductory video and that's it. He's trying to be excited and I am doing all I can to talk about starting school and read books with him about it, but it seems so abstract so it's a huge leap into the unknown for him. They are starting the transition in September with a 'home visit' that is actually just a phone call and a 'stay and play' that will be a story in the garden. And then they will start going in for mornings but as far as I know drop off will be in the garden so I will never get to go in. He'll be expected to go in on his own. This is not what I would want for him and would not happen like this any other year. And yes I am having a bit of a wobble because I suspect it will not go well.

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/08/2020 09:43

I don’t think you can use this year as a basis for how he will or won’t cope with school - it’s been so disrupted and abnormal and for kids who struggle with change it’s reasonable to think they’d find this year doubly difficult.

If it’s any consolation, my D.C. went back to school this week. My DS particularly was anxious and upset for a number of reasons but the school have been fantastic. I had a word with the HT about his particular concerns and she’s been very supportive of him and his class teacher is also clear about what he needs.

In your situation good relationships with school will go a long way to making things easier. He might need a longer, more structured transition into school - think about what would help (eg mornings only for a while, a named person to watch out for him, visual timetables so he knows how the day will progress) and ask for it. Teachers tend to be less informed about trauma and how to structure the school day to support kids who have early trauma experiences so ask directly for what you think will help. A good school will listen and support.

Mumsie007 · 15/08/2020 10:04

There are some great shows on cebebbies on starting school and mine have loved topsy and tim and waffle for getting used to the idea of school. My sisters school did a really lovely video of a walk through of the classroom areas for those going back after lockdown and I thought that was such a nice proactive idea - you could ask your teacher to do that, just a short phone video walking in the door where you leave them, explaining where things are, showing the toys and the toilets etc just so reassuring for children and parents I thought.

Original poster
SimonJT · 05/09/2020 05:29

Well Monday is the big day, I made the mistake of putting his uniform in his wardrobe yesterday. Getting him to put it on Monday morning will be a lovely challenge.

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Teacher12345 · 05/09/2020 08:38

Fingers crossed for you @SimonJT Our DD started school this week and really surprised us with how easily she went it. She didn't even look back!
I think having spent 6 months at home, she was ready for some interaction.
Let us know how it goes.

sunshineandskyscrapers · 05/09/2020 09:40

Good luck for Monday. I actually think you've done the right thing by putting the uniform in his room in advance so he's got time to get used to it. Just try to stay positive and I hope some of that rubs off on him. Flowers

121Sarah121 · 06/09/2020 11:50

Hope Monday goes well and you are having a lovely family day today.

Jellycatspyjamas · 06/09/2020 12:43

Why was it a mistake?

Original poster
SimonJT · 06/09/2020 19:16

@121Sarah121

Hope Monday goes well and you are having a lovely family day today.
We’ve done essentially nothing today, I didn’t want to risk the stress of a meltdown in public, it doesn’t really matter about the ones at home. We’ve had three, which isn’t too bad. Hes in bed now, well, hes meant to be, I can hear him throwing a few things around.

My boyfriends quarantine officially ended today, but hes had to remain ‘locked’ in the bedroom as him being able to be out about and school tomorrow would be too much change.

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Weekends · 07/09/2020 16:22

Hope Monday/start day has gone well for everyone!

I was expecting such a hard day yesterday and a tough old time this morning, but it never happened! So even if the year ahead is full challenges, the first day of this year was a success for us in terms of getting to school happily. I wonder how long it will last! Off to collect now, I'm sure my LO will have had a good day and may well talk asleep in her dinner.

Hope everyone else has had a positive day too. And if it didn't happen today, good luck for the year ahead! X

Weekends · 07/09/2020 16:23

Fall asleep! X

Original poster
SimonJT · 07/09/2020 17:28

I would say we were a 4/10.

He refused to put his uniform on so I had to take it with us in a carrier bag, I thought taking the dog on the walk would be a nice distraction for him, in reality he cried the entire way to school and the puppy was a bugger.

He only took about half an hour to calm down after I left, thats pretty quick for him, his record is almost two hours.

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Weekends · 07/09/2020 17:33

I know that kind of morning so well! Sorry to hear it wasn't any better.
Hope things improve at some point soon.

learningaboutmuscles · 07/09/2020 19:58

OP taking him out at weekends to be free and run off energy is a good idea. Don't be afraid of public meltdowns, what other people think really doesn't matter, and if you are concentrating on LO then you won't notice anyway.

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/09/2020 21:43

That sounds very hard going - I know what it is to hand a crying child over to school. I hope you’ve had some time for yourself this evening?

Original poster
SimonJT · 08/09/2020 09:59

He was in bed and asleep by 7, it did mean he was wide awake just after 5am Shock

Its a PE day today so no need to try and wrestle him into uniform.

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Allington · 08/09/2020 11:26

Sending support - I hope he settles into a routine soon

Weekends · 08/09/2020 19:12

Sending support here too! Hope the rest of the week improves for you both.

Today it was us too, so I spoke too soon yesterday! My LO just refused to go in. Tomorrow is another day...hopefully she will be happier and I will get to work on time!

Original poster
SimonJT · 09/09/2020 19:23

He was fantastic today, not only did the uniform go on with minimal fuss, my boyfriend walked him in his own today, we didn’t pre-warn my son and he was generally okay on the walk and just had a few mild grumbles.

I hope its not a fluke, for his sake, I just want him to be able to feel safe and happy about going to school.

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Original poster
SimonJT · 09/09/2020 19:23

@Weekends Did yours make it in on time today?

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Weekends · 09/09/2020 19:43

Great news. Mine too, and happily! Wishing safe & happy feeling mornings for everyone as often as possible!

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 10/09/2020 15:53

DD2, year11.

Day 1: 5 mins with pastoral care and 20mins tour after school
Day 2: 1hr in separate unit, did some schoolwork
Day 3: Refused to attend. Did 15 mins of schoolwork at home.

Up until Feb this year she had near perfect attendance since reception. Collapsed in lockdown.

Weekends · 10/09/2020 20:08

@UnderTheNameOfSanders I'm sorry to hear that, such a shame after so long. We really struggled today too. I hope school are being supportive.

121Sarah121 · 10/09/2020 20:28

@UnderTheNameOfSanders I am sorry to hear that. I hope you all have support moving forward.

Original poster
SimonJT · 10/09/2020 21:35

@UnderTheNameOfSanders

DD2, year11.

Day 1: 5 mins with pastoral care and 20mins tour after school
Day 2: 1hr in separate unit, did some schoolwork
Day 3: Refused to attend. Did 15 mins of schoolwork at home.

Up until Feb this year she had near perfect attendance since reception. Collapsed in lockdown.

I’m sorry, thats awful for her, does she normally have outside support available or are you having to start from scratch?
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