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Adoption

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Original poster

Difficult anniversary tomorrow - please think of me

81 replies

roisin · 14/09/2007 21:48

As many of you on here know I had a baby when I was a student, and chose to have him adopted immediately - I didn't bring him home from hospital.

Anyway, he was born 18 years ago tomorrow.

I have written to the adoption agency to request a Section 98 Intermediary Service to get in touch with him. Really just to say that I've thought of him constantly over the past 18 years, and that if he chooses to get in touch, I - and the rest of my family - would be delighted.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 15/09/2007 09:38

Thinking of you today Rosin. I hope it turns out well for you.

KerryMum · 15/09/2007 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

berolina · 15/09/2007 11:49

Thinking of you, and him, today.

Kewcumber · 15/09/2007 12:56

Roisin - I'm thinking of you today. I often think of my DS's birth mother and wish she could see what a lovely boy he is. I hope you get some contact eventually.

motherinferior · 15/09/2007 13:00

Roisin, I am thinking of you.

stepfordwife · 15/09/2007 13:21

thinking of you - and your boy - today, roisin.
even if he chooses not to get in touch yet, i'm sure it'll mean so much to him to hear that you've thought of him and loved him every day of his life.

MarsLady · 15/09/2007 16:28

Lots of love from the Marslets coming your way Roisin!

Bink · 15/09/2007 22:02

Thinking of you too.
How has the day been?

ScottishMummy · 15/09/2007 22:05

hope you are okay roisin - hope your wishes come true

time4me · 15/09/2007 22:10

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You did an incredibly brave thing 18 years ago.One day he will know how much his BM loves him.God Bless you,I have tears in my eyes.

Original poster
roisin · 16/09/2007 20:02

The day went fine. Thanks for asking Bink.
I didn't sleep well on Friday night, but Saturday was good.

OP posts:
MarsLady · 16/09/2007 20:05
Gobbledigook · 16/09/2007 20:09

Oh sorry I missed this thread Roisin - I'm glad Saturday was Ok for you. I do hope he gets in touch if that's what you would like.

My friend has just found out that she and her brothers have another, older brother, that her parents had adopted when they were very young. He must be in his 30s now, at least, with a family - he seems to have just slotted into the family like he was never away and my friend absolutely worships him.

I hope things work out for you, I really do.

x

KTeePee · 16/09/2007 20:10

Glad the day went ok for you

batters · 16/09/2007 20:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beemail · 18/09/2007 08:07

I do hope he gets in touch Roisin from talking to adoptees I think more likely that it might not be straight away - teenage lives often too full for reflection what with A levels, college courses , early days in new jobs, girlsfriends etc so don't be too dissappointed if he's not ready yet. The important thing is that you've paved the way and he'll get an idea of how keen you are to have contact. I also think of my daughters birth mothers often and wish they could know what lovely girls they gave birth to - would certainly support them if they decided to search. Good Luck I really hope it works out for you.

lijaco15 · 18/09/2007 20:06

All good wishes for you

Original poster
roisin · 28/11/2007 20:28

I've finally had a response from the adoption agency: it's only really an acknowledgement of my letter.

It says they will be "pursuing my request shortly and will respond again in due course".

I don't expect anything to happen quickly, and I truly expect that my 'birth son' will not want any contact at this stage.

But I do feel a bit shaky just looking at the letter. It was in a very plain envelope, and after all these weeks I'd given up waiting for it.

I actually felt sick from the shock when I firt opened it: I hope they handle more delicate news/information rather more sensitively later in the process!

OP posts:
edam · 28/11/2007 20:31

That must have been one hell of a shock. Hope your son does decide to get in touch when he's ready.

Saturn74 · 28/11/2007 20:33

Echoing what Edam said.

WendyWeber · 28/11/2007 20:34

roisin, I missed this at the time - glad his actual birthday was OK for you and also glad that you have had a reply, even though it's just an acknowledgement. (Your son is only a year younger than DS1 you know - he was 19 in July - that's a weird thought!)

I really really hope this will lead to contact before very long

KermitTheFrau · 28/11/2007 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
roisin · 28/11/2007 22:13

thanks all

OP posts:
margoandjerry · 28/11/2007 22:20

roisin, I think you did a very brave thing back then and every day since in thinking of him and loving him without being with him.

My daughter will have a similar right at 18 (different circs - not adoption) and I hope she will meet the same welcome as your son will.

slim22 · 28/11/2007 22:24

Just saw this. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.