Bmi

[Mojocafa]

Hi folks.

Your thoughts please.....

Negative ...I have a high bmi Of 38

Positive.... I have years of knowledge and understanding
After fostering children with the following
Trauma, attachment disorder, ODD, ASD, ADHD, FAS, global delay, additional support needs, visual impairment, not fluent in speech,.

I am looking to adopt 1 child over 5 with complex needs, or 2 siblings over 5 whose needs are not so complex.

Financially, I am very secure, mortgage free, my partner and I will both be at home full time for at least the first year.

However although I am mentally fit and able for what is in front of us. Do you think my bmi will go against me

Mojocafa firstly welcome.

May I ask why you think your bmi is so high? I mean what reason for being so overweight?

My bmi was about 35 when I entered the process and I was told to lower it. I tried to. I know why my bmi was so high and thankfully it has got better.

My BMI was about 35 at the time of panel. There was a note on my medical from the LA medical advisor (not my GP) saying it would be beneficial for my health if it were lower but no mention was made again.
Good luck!

My BMI was high, but I evidenced all of the activities I did, and had made an effort to reduce throughout the process as noted by the doctor completing my medical. I don’t think it’s a barrier (especially given all of your other ‘positives’) as long as you can set out what you are doing to address it and understand how a high BMI may affect your health. All the very best.

My BMI is 42. We don't really eat junk or processed food (treats like a takeaway are bimonthly for example). However portion control is terrible . I have nowhere near the experience with children that you have.

We were matched with 2 under 2s at panel recently and about to start introductions . My BMI has genuinely never been an issue. Obviously came up on the medical, but I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol and a good resting heart rate. No other health issues or conditions and I walk a lot as don't drive.

SW was surprised as didn't think I looked huge and just advised me to say I was aware of it and taking steps to address it. I did lose some weight before panel but it never came up! I'm a size 16 to 18.

Best of luck

@ Serenity45
This is probably a stupid question, but did they definitely get your BMI right? A BMI of 42 seems very high for a 16-18 - unless you’re super tall?

Usually I would say it depends on your SW and agency. Some get their tinsel in a right tangle over weight issues.

mine was 32 when I applied, my medical report from GP was fine but the agency medical advisor insisted I be packed off to the hospital for tests for some obesity related conditions - diabeties etc. Everything was clear so nothing further was said.

Seven years on my BMI is 38 (ish) I am very active, walk everywhere, run, go the gym. But the stresses of the last few years have brought out the worst of my eating habits (-I'm a classic comfort eater) and at 55 for the first time I feel fat and unhealthy and my knees are starting to protest. I've had much poorer health over the last two years - it does start to catch up with you

As an experienced foster carer, actively interested in complex needs I would imagine SWs would be fighting over you.

But for your own longer term benefit if you can tackle your weight issues now I would, she says miserably contemplating the start of my 1200 calories low cab regime on Saturday

Sugarfreejelly sadly it's definitely right and I'm not very tall. Even GP was surprised as was my DH (who is pretty trim and goes to the gym most days). I think I'm just one of those people who 'carry it well'.

That being said, Ted's point is a valid one and I'm not making light of the long term benefits of being a healthier weight. Kind of hoping that running round after toddlers will help

Thanks for all your responses.

I don’t want this to turn into a discussion about why my bmi is 38

I can join weight loss clubs and lose the weight, however, I can’t maintain it. Thus , I put the weight back on plus more. So, my bmi has been a consistent 38 whilst I haven’t been trying to lose weight. The way I see i it, if I go on a diet as a box ticking exercise, then in 18 months time when it all goes back on plus more, I will have a bmi of 40.
I have just had a health check and no issues with blood pressure, diabetes or cholesterol.
This is not an excuse, but I have an under active thyroid so that doesn’t help!
Also I have had 4 separate children placed with me after 4 different adoption disruptions. I would describe 3 of the families as the physically super fit families so I may be fat, but mentally and emotionally I am fit and prepared for the challenges that I will be presented with.
I imagine this comes across as defensive, but I think it’s very unfair that people are judged on their body size than on the other strengths they have to offer a child. However, that’s my opinion and not the medical advisors!

My bmi was really high and the panel didn’t seem to give a crap. But it was easily the most talked about thing through the whole assessment process.

Anyway, I smiled, nodded, lost a couple of stone, thus enabling SW to write in report that I was tackling it. (And no one ever verified that I really had lost two stone - they took my word for it.)

And put it all back on of course as soon as DC were placed.

As I recall someone on this board once called round some agencies and found differing ideas of what was acceptable (35 and 30 are the numbers that have stuck in my head) but few of them had hard and fast rules like they do with smoking.

(Before you start your 1200kcal diets, check out Team RH on Facebook - only sustainable approach I ever found...)

I agree with you mostly, SWs have to look at the long term though, and as I am finding overweight at 55 is a different ball game than being overweight at 30 or even mid 40s.
But in your position I wouldn't worry too much. You have to have medicals to be an FC, you have masses of experience, they will be fighting over you

I agree with Weatherforducks and was in the same boat...

"My BMI was high, but I evidenced all of the activities I did, and had made an effort to reduce throughout the process as noted by the doctor completing my medical. I don’t think it’s a barrier (especially given all of your other ‘positives’) as long as you can set out what you are doing to address it..."

I do understand why being overweight, and having a very high BMI can be an issue.

If you know how to cook healthy meals etc, how to keep children eat it healthily etc, then it may well be fine.

I did know about healthy eating (as evidenced by a birth child and hubby who were very healthy, slim and active and I did most of the cooking and a fair chunk of shopping etc.)

My food issues were to do with my own issues and that is why I asked about yours. You do not need to tell me anything.

You sound very, very capable to parent well and many agencies or county councils would probably snap you up.

All I will say is age-wise I am hot on the heals of Ted, I have creaky knees, high blood pressure, and diabetes. These do impair life for me and I had a lot of counselling to work out why I ate so much. I also had a slim fit husband who did a lot of the running around with our son. I may have not been able to do soft play for fear of getting trapped in the tunnel slides (I am not joking!)

Being overweight for kids is a problem, healthwise, possibly leading to bullying etc, all potential issues with teeth and bodies. So kids who have had a really tough start in life do need emotional support, yes, a lot. But I can also understand why social workers would be looking at weight and diet etc of potential adopters and wanting to help those caring for kids.

We adopted over 5 years ago but I can honestly say that going along with what is asked of you, if reasonable, is by far the best option. I only you know if this is a reason able issue.

God luck.

thanks folks, that’s encouraging!

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound

Luckily over the years, I have evidenced, that I promote healthy eating, my LAC and birth children were fed healthy, home made meals .
I don’t do processed food. I have a veg plot and fruit cage in the garden, which I maintain myself, and that is quite physical.
In fact, it’s a bit of overkill when we harvest, one year it was beetroot, that we had far too much, boiled, roasted, pickled, soup chutney.
Kids loved it as it made their “wee” pink 😂

"Luckily over the years, I have evidenced, that I promote healthy eating, my LAC and birth children were fed healthy, home made meals ." That's really good.

I love beetroot!

I was in a similar situation, high BMI and loads of professional knowledge about child development, trauma and the like. I was asked to lower my BMI as part of the process and did bring it down by 3/4 points but more important was being able to explain my own issues with food, and he is help children maintain a healthy lifestyle. At panel they were way more interested in my mental health than my weight.

My husband was overweight and it never was an issue. A one liner in the report acknowledged it and a question came up at panel to which my husband said he was aware of it and would try to address it. He never did but it never stopped us being placed with our son.

For us, it was never an issue.

I don't have any evidence for tgis but I am guessing the powers that be are more concerned with future mum than dad, unless dad will be main carer.

Although for us, despite talking about it and my trying to address a it they never actually asked about progress or made me weigh in!

I was in a similar position - it was mentioned discussed and didn't stop us adopting a wee one and are approved and awaiting the next.

Also @Mojocafa I think its cruel keeping your fruit in cages!

Mine was 31, despite being a size 10-I’m short! It was mentioned and I explained what exercise I did. It was mentioned again at matching panel when our medicals were up for the 6 month review and the SW brought it up with me in advance but it didn’t stop us being matched. Bmi is only one measure and I think they also look for evidence of healthy lifestyles and understanding of how to promote this.

Your BMI should not be taken as a reason to not place children any more. If you are mobile and can cope then it's ok. If you read the threads you'll see emotional and mental health needs looking at in more detail to stop adoption breakdowns and relationships breaking down. Good luck to you lovely for doing this xx 😘

My bmi was high before approval and medical advisor said as I have no other medical conditions it was not an indicator for not not being approved. Hence I was approved and it was not mentioned at panel..except would I cope with not being able to have the time to go gym and exercise pre having having a child at home. Think my social worker was more interested/ opposing than panel. Though maybe a different perspective now since it's creased through lockdown ,working from home gyms closed etc. It's all just a tough process .

First time I was told to lower my BMI to below 40 which I did. Second time with a different agency didn’t really seem bothered. My BMI was quite a bit over 40 but still approved. They do tend to dig into the reasons behind it and what you are doing to combat it