do these add up to not being foster parents?? can i change anything?

[byroadorbyriver]

yoddle!

i have always wanted to foster, i recently seriosly descused this with the yettie and he was very up for it in the future!

we want to have 3 bio kids if possible then, since yetti family only make boys we wanted to foster to adopt a girl over 5 quite happy with a teen, pref with some sort of disability as i have had many problems and feel i could help quite well.

after that we would have maby 2 more bio kids then start fostering when youngest is teen.

my question/worries are, i have some sort of bipolar and anxiety attacks, will this rulemeout?

i am physically disabled by m.e. so use wheel chair often and neerly constantly on a crutch but i still get most things done!!

our biokids would be homeschooled, would this push out foster kids? can i homeschool adopted children if they wished it? (pretty sure cant h/e fostereds??)

yettie and i will be living on a canal boat, possibly in a marina sowed have an address is that ok??

im pretty sure wed have to not c/c (move every 14 days) thou i think we can give that up by then for a child.

yettie and i are pretty hands on food growy/meet killing people. is that to weird??

errrr thinkthats it!!! sorry bot spelling mistakes this puter has no back button!!

oh yettie works but i am on disability willbe a stay at home mama!

thanks for reading all that grin

beaniexxxx

sorry got your name totally wrong

if u live on a main road do u leave all ur gates and doors open for ur tot to wander out?

no (least gods i hope not!)

same with boats u keep the bottom of the door locked and u have similar to a baby gate rond the edges if u want. and kids ware turtles wich are like personal fire alarms that pretty much wake up the neiborhood if someone goes over board. cats dogs ect can also ware turtles. also they learn to swim asap!!!

lots of kids live inboats and caravans other things, dont u think it wouldbe front page news if they keeped drowning? dont u think people would take every chance to slander any sort of alternative life style :wink:

"dont u think people would take every chance to slander any sort of alternative life style :wink:"

indeed

my sil lived on a canal boat with a child. he was always plopping in. was very scary i thought was a very very bad idea. the whole set up drove her completely insane - she has gone from old ambulance driving allotment growing dog on a to very 'normal' 2.4 mortgage and job mum. this could be a troll, but could equally not i have met some of sil mates very similar.

noproblem firenzandzooey!! it took me 3 atemps to remember it and it my name lol!

yup of course one kid first (or possibly twins in my family lol) but why not have a dream plan, so at least you have the right direction to go for instead of years of not knowing what to do with ur life! i know it will need tweeking along the way.

why so many kids? yettie and i love children and we both see them as life enhancing, not somthing to be done when uve finnished ur career/traveling. its a nice big scary life shaking challenge......bring it on

(plus yettie gets kicked out of the scouts next year when hes 25, he needs some one to pass down his out door scoutey knowlage :wink: lol)

agree byroadorbyriver its great to dream. and children are most definitely life-enhancing. and altrenative lifestyles can provide children with rich experiences, no doubt. however, ime just have a child is so life altering beyond belief that often the big picture goes on hold a while....

yes i used to vist inlaws on their boat with 3 of them and 4 of us was a terrible squash instant claustrophobia really you would need a very swanky houseboat to fit 8 on. better in a yurt

do you know you can get 4 bedroom canal boats? bunk beds double beds hamocks if you realy insist lol.

with proper kitchen, sitting room, music room, gods ive even seen a wood work shop!

also im not having them all at once!!! i wont have 6 3 year oldsto contol!

and mumbledoor stop adding kids to my family thats not even here yet :wink: 3 bio one adopted then 2 bio is 6kids! wouldnt foster till yongest is teen so oldest would have moved out by then possibly.

this link tells lots about fostering
be careful with the bipolar. my dh is bipolar and makes all sorts of plans when he is manic.

hey moopymoo!

just to let you know im not manic, this plan has been in the brain for a good six years at least. edited grealy from 12 kids down lol! amongst other things.

bipolar prety well under controle now, the deppeession much worse that the mania wich only lasts max12 hours usually shorter, very rapid cycling when it happens.

also not rushing in to this. got ayear till end of uni. mean while dp will be building / restoring a boat that would be ok for at least a child or two. (dont worry thats dps fulltime job, he knows what hes doing lol)

also driving to mongolia next summer so cant be pregnant. ( not a bipolar plan, google mongole rally to read about it!!!)

i just want to know and planas much as possible, be armed with all the info so i know what imdoing is that making sence?

Finally, an interesting thread!

I'm amazed that anyone can be so certain of planning their children ahead like this. I always wanted 6, but having experienced pregnancy, labour, the lack of sleep, the sheer time and effort it takes to raise children, not to mention the cost, we took it one child at a time, and are stopping at 3.

Have you planned age gaps, Beanie?

hey Mrs scarvo!

weldone for havibg three! anything more than 2 and your a weirdo it seams!

age gaps im torn really, id love to have 3 straigh after each other so they are close, but this i think is a knee jerk reaction to being 17 and 21 years younger than my sisters!

after watching friends and family sibling relationships 3 years apart. this also gives us time to appresiate those first years a bit more.

also gives my body recovery time. after the first 3 then im having a break mabey till youngest is 10, id like to adopt a girl then and when she settled and happy wed have our last 2. i wanted to adopt in the middle as i think young girls should always have the chance of a baby around them when they are old enough to appresiate them. but then again im prepared to have a daughter who hates babies lol!

again thats the ideal plan at the moment. im sure illmess it up with a quad first pregnancy lol! always up for a challenge!

what about you? how are yours spaced? was it planned like that?!

Message withdrawn

is it okay that weve gone so off topic? will a mod shut the thread down?

also some one askd about the 'yoddle' at the start of my post. it started off as 'yo' when i started convos, possibly fresh prince of belair inspired lol and sortof mutated in to yoddle then yoddle noodles. it stuck, i like it :wink:

If you have bi-polar you will have to consider your medication needs and combining this with pregnancy.....a tricky buisness let me tell you.You will have to balance your need for medication against the potential harm it could do your unborn babe,( and sadly medicine for bi-polar can do that..)...I have known patients with bi-polar succesfully become parents but not without some cost to their own health,( sorry...if that is not what you want to hear...)...and I think it would be more realistic to plan to have fewer children tbh
As to adoption....again I have never known SSD place a child with a family with a major mental health problem such as the one you have. In fact quite the opposite I have known several families lose children to adoption because of their mental health difficulties.
You are 17 you say...I think you would be better off concentraying on your education and keeping yourself well.
This is reality I fear.

Message withdrawn

Oh ....I have 6 children btw...I don't have bi-polar, but I am a psychiatrist.

You're 17?

...as COD says...try to have one first,( but maybe leave it a bit first and complete your education ? )....and fgs follow the instructions of your doctor re: meds....

oh btw I lived on a canal boat for 3 years and I wouldn't choose to raise children (plural) on them...

mumbledor i didnt mean to attack you lot in thatcoment, just in genral, you get alot of bad coments from al over if you have lots of kids sorry to cause confusion.

and for 'fgs have a kid first' i g back to whats wrong with having aplan? life goes to fast to bumble and spend ages going hmmmm ahh. im on this planet fir a short time. im grabbing it with both blody hands :wink:

but yes thanks for the reply that said those factors would cause a problem, i may have tobe prepared to change a few things. or wait till were in a more 'normal' situation to foster. thats alli was wanting to know!
thanks

I just think an injection of reality wouldn't go amiss.....parenting and major mental illness is a big challenge. I have seen the misery of it going wrong a few too many times,( worst parts of my job, and very ),so please try to be a bit less ambitious in your plans....I have also seen some parents make a real success out of it even though they are really very ill, but in both cases there was ONE child and very ,very supportive partners, parents, carers etc....It is not a journey to be undertaken lightly.
I am godmother to one of those babies, so Im by ni means all doom and gloom.