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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Original poster

What are grandparents rights for adoption??

94 replies

lijaco15 · 02/06/2007 21:56

Our 3 week old grandchild is being removed from my son's girlfriend into foster care. She has emotional problems and been through care herself. Does anybody know procedures and what rights we may have as grandparents???

OP posts:

lisad123 · 07/06/2007 12:48

I dont take it personal when people make bad comments about SS as most of the time I agree, but mainly for the reason we are so understaffed we dont have the time to do the jobs as well as possible. Im lucky thatIma family support worker and have a limit to the number of cases I hold (In other words I can say no
If your son has gone off with GF it is likely that the child may be moved to a new placement.
And yes they will have to look at the way your son is and how was brought up too, but I undertand that sometimes its not the parents fault and in no way suggesting this is the case here.
You need to find a good solitor, request comtact and resistancy asap if thats what you want. You can also ask for a kinship assessment, which is different to adopation but your solictor can help you the best way forward.

You may well be asked to choose between your son and the baby if he is deemed to unsafe to spend time with the baby.
Hugs
Good Luck

Original poster

lijaco15 · 07/06/2007 12:56

Me and my husband are willing to adopt baby if the need arises. s.s. want to make sure that girlfriend has every opportunity to care for baby first. She is very reliant on my son and can not cope when he isn't there. He is not allowed at foster carers. I don't know what the plan will be with s.s. now though.

OP posts:

KristinaM · 07/06/2007 20:26

Any news of your son and his GF?

I'm sorry, it doenst sound very hopeful that she will be able to keep the baby. she can't be supported by her own family as her mother has had her own kids removed. she has run away from the Fcers leaving the baby. She can't manage on her own without her Bf who is not allowed any contact with the baby, so she has to choose between her Bf and her son. Have i understood this all correctly?

you and your Dh woudl like to adopt the baby but your son lives with you some of the time, so he woudl have to move out.so you woudl have to choose between your son and your grandson?

Are SS really suggesting that your son has NEVER to have any contact, even supervised, with his own child???

Shoshable · 07/06/2007 20:38

lijaco15 I have some experience of your situation dont want to talk on a open forum but my email is [email protected]

Original poster

lijaco15 · 07/06/2007 21:54

In reply my son is allowed contact but not at the foster carers house. He is been told to keep away from the foster carer's house as they had an arguement there and his girlfriend started to hit him. His contact takes place at a family centre now. s.s. want to engage girlfriend on her own as they have a volatile relationship. She is more the aggressor. She is 18.5 and he is just 17 years. Her emotional problems involve self harm. So my son feels a responsibility to keep her safe and has had to deal with a lot of trauma since 16 years old. hE is emotionally drained with the pressure.

OP posts:

KristinaM · 07/06/2007 23:30

it sounds like a very difficult situation for a 17yo boy to cope with . i can see why you must be so worried

it sounds like Ss might be ok with him living with you if he you have teh baby, although access woudl be a bit complex i suspect...oh dear its all so difficult isnt it. i do hope your lawyer is able to help you find a way through this

do let us knwo how you get on tomorrow

Original poster

lijaco15 · 08/06/2007 15:22

I have been to see solicitor who is now going to help with more contact. The situation today is that the gf has been asked to leave the foster care placement. Baby is to be moved to a new placement on Monday. g.f. will not be moving with baby. I will be seeing solicitor again on Monday. We are going to be assessed in two weeks time say ss. The assessment takes approx 8 weeks I believe. Does anybody know anything with regards to assessment procedure??

OP posts:

joash · 08/06/2007 15:37

My DH and I have a residence order for our 4 year old grandson (he's been with us since he was 5 months old) and we are assured that he will never, ever be returned to his parents. As grandparent carers going through a lengthy court battle - we learned that grandparents have no legal rights whatsoever (unless there is a residency order in their favour).

As for adoption - the courts generally frown on adoption within the family as it 'confuses' existing relationships. However, they can be supportive of grandparents who apply for a residence order as long as they can see that you have the welfare of the child as THE priority - often this can include you demonstrating how you would ensure that the child maintain some sort of contact with his/her parents (regardless of whatever has happened in the past) and you will need to show how you will facilitate this contact and ensure the child grows up knowing their personal history.

As for being made 'party to proceddings' - you can apply for this and it has to be agreed by all parties in court. We were made party to proceedings for the initial child protection case (as we had the full support of the social services)- but it was not applicable in the subsequent case and even though we won - we still had to fund ourselves at a cost of thousands of pounds.

The assessment procedure can be lengthy - dont rely on the 8 wks that you have been quoted. Ours involved full medicals as well a detailed investigation of your own, your DH's, any other children you have (even if grown up) and anyone elses background who lives in the house - and in some cases, those who might have regular contact with the child. Bear in mind too, that things can go wrong - one of the social work teams we had, lost over a years worth of information including all th assessment stuff - so we had to start the whole thing again.

joash · 08/06/2007 15:39

Saying al that - I want to wish you luck and to say that I hope all goes according to plan. I wouldn't give GS up for anything now - even though I feel 90 most of the time .

chipkid · 08/06/2007 17:54

Just to add on from what Joash said-there is now a half-way house between adoption and residence called special guardianship. Your solicitor will no doubt explain this to you.
I wish you lots of luck

KristinaM · 08/06/2007 20:22

at least things are moving forward now. poor baby has to have yet another move . do you have any news of your son and his Gf yet? did you find the solicitor helpful?

FioFio · 08/06/2007 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

lijaco15 · 08/06/2007 21:12

I would really like baby to come to us rather than another placement now that we are being assessed. Don't think he can though. I will have to ask solicitor who I am seeing again on Monday. Solicitor very good and put everything over to me clearly. She wanted toknow why we couldn't be interim carers and I haven't been able to ask ss this question yet. Does anybody know what an interim carer is??

OP posts:

KristinaM · 08/06/2007 22:11

I think its a short term placement until the court hearing. i agree with you, the poor baby has already been through so much, he is so tiny and needs some stability. If i understand correctly, he has beem with his mother, then in foster care and now they want to move him to another f carer. And he's only 3 weeks old.

My friend was round today with her 5 week old baby who seemed just a scrap beside my toddlers and i was thinking of your poor little nephew, abandoned by his parents and with strangers

joash · 08/06/2007 23:22

I would say that we were in a good position to start with as the social services automatically placed GS with us. I would advise you to become very vocalin this, as I do know of a couple of sets of grandparents who had grandchildren who were placed with foster carers and they have failed in trying to get their grandchildren with them. It seems that you do need the social services on your side. Have a look at some of the stories on www.frg.org.uk

joash · 08/06/2007 23:23

vocalin??? - VOCAL IN

joash · 08/06/2007 23:25

There may also be problems if your son lives with you. If the soial services see him as some sort of threat to the child - they may not even consider placing the child with you.

chipkid · 09/06/2007 09:24

you must ask ss for an interim assessment of you to see if the child can be placed with you pending a full assessment.

Original poster

lijaco15 · 09/06/2007 12:05

It would be great to speak with baby's social worker but she is never at office when I ring, she does not answer emails and does not ring me after I have left messages. I have spoken with her once since baby been born. I have had more conversations with her manager.

OP posts:

chipkid · 10/06/2007 17:39

get your solicitor to apply some pressure. Whilst I know that social workers are very busy she should not ignore you like this. You may have a vital role to play in these proceedings

KristinaM · 13/06/2007 14:58

any news lijaco15?

Original poster

lijaco15 · 13/06/2007 16:10

We are now going to be assessed as long term carers. My son's girlfriend has not returned to foster carers. My son is now living with a relative and does not want to become involved with court proceedings. Case goes to court on Friday. Baby will be moved after court decision. Basically a waiting game now. Fingers crossed we will be able to care for baby soon.

OP posts:

woopsadaisy · 13/06/2007 16:16

good luck, let us know what the outcome is
xx

KristinaM · 14/06/2007 17:50

how sad for everyone, i'm sure that your son and his Gf will regret it later when they are older. but sadly the baby cant wait for them to grow up and face up to their reponsibilities

at least this way your gs will grow up within his own family and have the love and security of a happy famliy home. you are doing a wonderful thing and i wish you well

please coem back and let us knwo what happens

Kewcumber · 15/06/2007 13:22

good luck

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