What would you change about your social worker?

[Whatshouldmyusernamebe]

Just wondered what you found helpful or not helpful from your social worker during your assessment, matching and support after placement?

Statutory provision is up to 5 x 6.5 hour absences for meetings relating to matching and intros, not for the approval process. Employers might offer more than this as an enhanced package or agree flexible working but they don't need to release you, which can make planning a bit tricky if your SW works office hours.

Oh and that leave only applies to the primary adopter, the partner would be expected to use paternity leave provision - which is consistent with mat leave policies while not really fitting adoption processes.

Yep. That was it for us. And as you say, it doesn't really fit.

Also, my adoption leave couldn't begin till placement. I couldn't start it for intros so thank God I had some annual leave I could use. That reminds me it's something else I need to 'educate' them about.

As you all rightly say it depends on company policy....but well worth checking.....

bigger the company, better it usually is - NHS is same as MAT policy

Yes, I was surprised to find my DH’s was more generous in a small company (tbf they didn’t have a policy so he suspects they’ve cut and pasted one and not read it as they’re not usually known for their generosity!) and I work for a large LA (not in adoption) who obviously also place kids for adoption yet mine has the post matching panel caveat!

I could start adoption leave up to two weeks before placement date but I had some leave to use up but it was good to know I could go a bit early if need be. Ridiculous that it's not more informed by actual adoption processes.

I didn't bother reading this thread at the time it arrived. Bloody hell it's got out of hand.

"This board has been a shock to the system at times... People can be so antagonistic and emotionally uncontained"

It is not usually like this. This thread is a disgrace. In fairness it is mostly 2/3 posters.

There is a lot of debate on the adoption boards because it serves 3 constituencies: SW, BPs and Adopters. All 3 often have difficult and varied experiences that bring strong opinions. Nonetheless it is usually a supportive and positive place- even when disagreeing.

Please can we respect that the people on here have often been through a tough time?
Please can we try to avoid generalisations and bring thought and nuance to our posts?

To answer the actual OP: I had one SW who was amazing, I would not change a thing. That made it all the more obvious with the ones who were pretty bad.

As PPs have said, a lot of it is systems and training (or lack thereof), not individual flaws, but for SWs reading this (presumably OP), I would want:

1. Communicate the process more clearly. Don't use acronyms and don't assume we know things.
2. Ask our opinion. Accept that in some areas, relating to the long term care of the child we are adopting, our opinion is more valid than ours.
3. Be straight with us. The culture in SW seems to be to obfuscate and avoid conflict. Tell us if you can't do something, but give a clear time scale. Explain why you don't agree rather than side stepping.
4. Try to keep your promises. It isn't always possible, but it should be the norm. Under promise and over deliver.

donquixotedelamancha, reading that back sounds a bit judgy on my part so apologies if it offended. I find myself really trying to choose my words carefully which means I use too many of them and then I sometimes still slip up! It’s a good point you raise about the many different people who use the group too.

Funnily enough, and don’t get a big head now ;-) but I was thinking of people who deal with things well on here when I was trying to see both sides and I thought of you...as people are pointing out what they don’t like I thought I’d give credit where it’s due! Hope I don’t sound patronising or sycophantic...but I often notice that when things go to shit you turn up and give a very reasonable and fair response without being all po faces about it...there’s still warmth and a sense of humour there. I’ve been lurking here for ages so feel like I know the regulars or posters who stand out!

"that back sounds a bit judgy on my part so apologies if it offended"

I doubt that has given offence to anyone, given the rest of the thread it seems a fair observation. My exhortation to everyone to be nice is a bit priggish, but ... heyho, people post as they feel.

"don’t get a big head now" That ship sailed a long time ago :-) I occasionally enjoy a full blown pointless argument on AIBU; but as I get older I get better at not being an arse, and tend to see this forum as worthy of my better impulses.