Homework

[Jellycatspyjamas]

So, my 6 year old has settled reasonably well at school, she's making friends, goes into class without fuss and seems to be happy there. Getting her to do homework however is a living nightmare.

She argues and tantrums as soon as we mention it, she doesn't focus or pay attention and each time will mess about. It's not a lot of homework - maybe copying a few letters and reading/recognising words and letters. It's stuff I know she knows because she's read through it before, recognised the words elsewhere but actually sitting her down to do her homework is dreadful. It doesn't seem to matter whether we do it straight after school, give a snack and do it or try after dinner the result is always the same, I don't want it to become a battle but she literally screams until I let her down from the table - getting her to do it means trying to find a way through tears and tantrums. We've tried using blackboards, felt letters, playing schools, talking about why it's important, using natural consequences (if you do homework without fuss you'll have time for playing before dinner). We're very affirming of her when she gets things right and give lots of support if she's struggling but she can get a word right, then look at it again 10 seconds later and it be wrong - which is infuriating and draws the whole thing out because we don't know if she's had a lucky

Today she created merry hell and I just didn't have the energy to try and reason with her so she's playing with her brother while I dread approaching it with her again because she knows I've given in this time so will scream all the more next time. And I'm feeling annoyed that she just won't sit and do the damned homework - she could have done it 10 times over in the time it's taken to scream about it.

Any ideas?

I absolutely would not be pushing homework at 10weeks in! That's mental! Is there any way that the homework could be changed by you? For example, if it is practising some spellings, rather than getting her to put pencil to paper you could get her to paint words or draw them in sand etc. Just something less pressured. Some children find it hard if they make mistakes on paper and it can mean they are unwilling to try. However at this point I think I would bin all intention of homework and just keep building the bonds. The school would absolutely understand that I think! After all, she will only begin learning properly once she is feeling secure and settled at home and homework is not helping that.

Thanks everyone, we did speak to her school and agreed that we wouldn't focus on homework and certainly won't have her distressed about it. We'll mention it so she knows it's on our radar and if she asks about it we'll support her to do it but not get hung up on it. She's been much calmer over this past week and came home tonight, did her reading homework and rattled through it without any fuss at all - and got everything right first time!

We'll see how it goes but I'm glad we've taken the pressure off all of us.

Ten weeks in??

No, no, nothing that doesn't build connection, honestly nothing that doesn't aid attachment.

That all sounds very positive, OP!

And leaving for just a moment eg to get a glass of water, yes, I see what you mean.

My children aren't adopted and I've opted out of homework.

It can't be enforced at primary level in England and Wales. And all the evidence is that it doesn't benefit and can harm.

Attachment first. And then play, build confidence and enjoy being a child. She will benefit more learning wise from play than anything else at 6. She quite possibly doesn't even know how to play at this point.