I met my son today

[MintyLizzy9]

3 months ago I was convinced it would be a long time before I got this lucky and was dreading another Christmas without my child being home.

Today has made all the totally shit days, weeks and months all worth while.

Added bonus is he actually seemed to like me and made numerous demands for toe eating and tower building!

Can't wait for tomorrow but until then it's o'clock

What a lovely thread, it's wonderful to read your yearly family updates!

Lovely to read this. I met my son just about a month after you did, so he's been with us almost two years as well and will be 3 next week! All going great here too and can't believe how quickly the time has flown by!

Beautiful update

He is a character, he's a little old man trapped in a 3 year old body!

Preschool are teaching them songs for the nativity and it appears the ONLY line he can remember is jingle bell jingle bell alllll the waaaaaaay......driving me mad 😬

I've joined the NATP this month as my New Years resolution is to actually do some self care and be less shouty. Trying to go with natural consequences rather than telling off and I'm already feeling a bit more zen sometimes! I'm booked on to a compassion fatigue course in the new year, step 1 to looking after me a little bit. Also gearing up to his first overnight stay at grandparents without me 💃🏻

Well done on looking after yourself. It’s very hard isn’t it ? No one has any idea how hard it is to a single parent to an adopted ( or any SN child ) . Because it so much harder to find someone who is appropriate to help with your child. And you feel so guilty not being able to do it all ALL the time.

BTW the only way to fix the Jingle bells thing is to teach him another song. Or sing along with another one he already knows.

Yes to the guilt! I feel guilty working 4 days a week so feel I can't 'leave' him again. Stupid I know but you're right, it's bloody exhausting even when things are going smoothly!

I’m glad you are going on the compassion fatigue course.

You both sound amazing. I've always loved your posts, whether it's giving advice or talking about your Ds.

Happy Christmas to you both 🎄

I’m back!

Can you believe another year has gone by?

3 years today I knocked on a foster carers door and my family began.

It’s been a big year for DS. He left behind his beloved nursery and started big school! He loves it and can’t wait to go each day. He struggled with the transition despite everyone’s best efforts so he’s still part time but will be full time in the new year. He seems to be making a couple of friends which is wonderful and I’m rapidly learning about the ECHP process! He even won an award at school for being a good friend! He’s popular with everyone despite his wobbly days and I’m forever hearing his name being shouted out when we’re out and about.

He’s enjoying swimming lessons, it took a couple of attempts with different instructors but we now have a lovely lady who gets him and he’s flourishing, he brought home his 5 metre badge last week.

He now has glasses so that coupled with his little side parting, his love of a dickie bow and a warm jumper he looks like a 50 year old man called Keith, especially when he peers at me over the top of them with a disapproving look if I dance or god forbid sing! He’s obsessed with the tv show tipping point and has asked Santa to bring him the game...no problem Keith!

His speech has come on a lot, he was scoring below the 2nd percentile in some areas earlier this year but now his teachers say he’s one of the best in the class and wouldn’t have believed the report was about him. Another benefit of this is he will grass up his grandma quicker than he can blink, sneaky McDonald’s I now know about it, grandad getting told off by grandma I know about it, my surprise Christmas present....you get the drift

He’s looking forward to Christmas and sent off his letter to Santa a couple of weeks ago, the lady at the post office said his was the first letter of the year which pleased him no end coz you know...competitive!

He’s still part jack Russell and loves being out in the muck and puddles, he loves that school have a half day of Forrest school every week (led by an adoptor hurrah!)

I bought an Alexa recently and he asks it a million questions a day, it’s saved my sanity as now the really random stuff he asks me about I can just say mmmm I’m not sure maybe Alexa knows and off he trots bellowing leeeeeeexaaaaaa. He’s also delighted that Alexa will fart on command

So that’s us, I’m aging in dog years and about two stone heavier than last year but we’re both happy as Larry and looking forward to the next year of adventures!

That is so lovely to read - enjoying the progression of updates. Sounds quite happy x

Loved the update. Never a dull minute . Enjoy Christmas it sounds like it will.be amazing xx

Aw lovely update!!!

Oh minty thank you so much for this thread. I hadn’t seen it before and have just read the whole thing with happy, optimistic tears in my eyes. I’ve had a rotten day or two (not adoption-related) and was just feeling really low, which was bad timing as we’ve got our first stage 2 meeting this week. But your story has lifted me right up -a proper piece of festive cheer. I’m so glad little “Keith” is doing so well and that you are both so happy. I will really look forward to next year’s update and hope that by then we are half as blessed as you

Ah cabbage I remember that stage well, it’s bloomin awful but all I can say is stay positive it will happen!

I remember thinking at each point it can’t get any more stressful than this but honestly even though it feels like a lifetime now it will pass and before you know it you’ll be having sleepless nights listening to your little one breath.

Adoption has turned out to be more than I could have ever have imagined, the love and bond for my boy is off the scale it really is but I never imagined the battles I would have for support from social services.

My support circle that I wrote at stage 2 is nothing life real life now, I’m talking about 20 year plus friendships gone and my boy is “easy” but I have some amazing new friends in my life and I couldn’t be happier.

There is nothing like that first day you meet your child or that absolutely terrifying day you bring them home for good, honestly I felt like I’d nicked him!

Best of luck to all of you waiting xxxxx

@MintyLizzy9 thank you so much for this post!! It's inspiring to read how well this has gone for you both and how you've got through the challenges. Our LO comes home tomorrow, he's two and a half.
It's been identified that we are gonna need some attachment therapy so hoping getting this started really soon will help supercharge the attachment.

Hope you all have a beautiful Christmas and that "Keith" enjoys his tipping point game

Lovely to read another update. I commented on this under a diff name 2 years ago and have often wondered how you both are.

Your son sounds fab and your tremendous love for him (and your Sense of humour) shines through 😀

Wishing you both the very very best for the next year ahead.

I remembered your update from last year and also commented on the post under a different user name. Lovely to hear how you are doing. Stories like this make me very excited for when we finally bring a little one home x

I hadn't seen your post before but this is such a lovely update; I'll be starting intros very soon if matching is approved so it was brilliant to read about your experience and that it's worked out so well for you both

4 years!!!!!

I say it every year but bloody hell where did that year go!

My “little Keith” is growing like a weed and getting cheekier! He’s less Keith these days as he finally chose some trendier glasses so less accountant still loves a game of tipping point though!

Not Keith is doing well and has started to read hurrah! He’s probably about a year behind but is making progress and is so proud of himself. His imagination has really kicked in and my heart swells when I hear him playing with his toys by himself, he does give me a giggle with what he thinks up.

He’s starting to understand a little more this year and has asked a few questions about not growing in my tummy so treading carefully with that one!

He is so very proud that he’s in year 1 now and not in reception. School have been great and his transition up was almost painless. It’s been a massive learning curve for us all but I have to say having a school that want to work with you is great, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for those who don’t have this.

I haven’t slept alone for most of 2019 but as much as I dream of it I know I will miss him when he’s feeling secure enough to stay in his own bed all night!

We both start beavers in the new year....this could well be the best or worst decision I’ve ever made, ive sold it to him as being like hey duggee haha!

He still manages to attract every bit of dirt, mud and water in a 100 yard radius and knows even more people than last year (didn’t think it was possible!). My mum took him into town the other week and he knew two people on the bus there, bumped into kids from school in town and was greeted with a shout of “hey not Keith sit with me!” On the bus home

He’s been busy learning new carols at school and as lovely as it is if I hear Santa stuck up the chimney one more time I may crack up

I hope everyone else has had a good year and that those of you waiting last December have your very own Keith’s and Kiethettes home safe and sound.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone, I hope the triggers are small and the happiness is plentiful x

What a heartwarming post, so glad things are going well. I really recognise not sleeping alone - we usually end up with one or other of our two in bed with us at some point. I’m hopeful I’ll get a whole nights sleep between now and then turning 18!

Hope you have a lovely Christmas 😀

Posting again (3rd name change) - to say I love your annual updates about Not so Keith. Please keep them coming.

He sounds fab and your sense of humour and total love for him shine through.

I am so glad you found each other to become a family.

Fabulous. huge congrats. Xxxxxxxx

@jellycatspyjamas he promises that he will sleep in his own bed when he’s 40!

We’ve recently started sensory integration therapy and have just had feedback on the video assessments and I never appreciated just HOW much he hangs onto me, he’s my little spider monkey! It’s lovely most of the time but my goodness I am touched out some days and now I know why

@italiangreyhound hellloooo!

So lovely to hear!

DD2, now 12, has full on teen attitude (Muuuuuum! Get away from me! You're sooooooooooooo embarassing!) all day, then come bedtime still wants to sleep with me love it! (for half an hour or so, then walk her to her bed 3/4 asleep)