We've been ticking along, I'm taking every day as it comes. DS is starting to worry a wee bit about DD but he was a little reassured by her nice text. He wants to text her himself. I'm not sure whether to let him or tell him to give her more time. He'll be really upset if she ignores him see, and I hate to take the risk with his feelings. On the other hand, she's far more likely to respond to him than she is to me.
However, he's doing well. His teacher talked to me today because she's noticed a changge in him in the last couple of days. He's much less tired for a start (he was getting woken up in the middle of the night by DD's noise a lot), his behaviour is better and she says he's clearly a bit happier and more smiley in class. I'm really really pleased to hear it but it made me so sad as well
The other parents have mostly been good. Been asked about DD a few times, but everyone accepted my very brief sentences and got the subtext 'I don't want to talk about it right now' and been very nice, and none of the other children have been pressing DS for information, they've pretty much accepted his explanation that 'mam decided'. I definitely overheard a couple of parents discussing us though (caught my name and DS name twice on the first day). My hyperawareness of sounds is extending outside the house too, clearly!
I have my car back and I'm driving pretty comfortably now. The first time I sat in it at the Garage, I found myself shaking badly and my heart going fast. I shook a bit all the way home. Silly because I was totally fine by myself, no danger at all, but I couldn't stop or reason with myself. The first time DS was in the car with me, again I felt uncomfortable, shaky and paranoid. But it's been a couple of days now and I'm not shaking at all now, but I'm still a bit paranoid.
My GP's referred me for counselling and put my dose of Citalopram up and gave me a few tablets for my sleep just for a few days (they work!) because I was barely sleeping an hour or two a night. She was lovely, very understanding and she thought I was having post traumatic stress type symptoms too, which she thinks should fade a lot in the next month or so but we'll see. The people she's referred me to will do their own assessment and decide what type of counselling will suit me best, they do CBT and a couple other talking therapies.
I've been taking a few days off work, I'm going back tomorrow. I'm eating a wee bit better. Lost weight though. I still feel physically terrible and emotionally all over the place but I'm still taking it day by day, and most days are a wee bit better than the one before.