Attachment issues - too soon to know?

[dibly]

Hello, our nearly 12m old LO has been with us for almost a month now, and is generally settling in really well but I'm noticing some attachment issues - namely the fixated staring/prolonged flirting with strangers, and avoiding eye contact and displays of some 'fake' emotions with me (but seems fine with dad).

Intros all went fine, but the problems started after the placement. Have already mentioned to SWs, who think attachment is good, but I'm really struggling.

Do you think this is too soon to ask for help and to keep working on building the bonds? Or would you try and get some help at this stage? Any advice very gratefully received, I think hubs thought I was losing it at first!

[morethanpotatoprints]

64x64x24

You are quite welcome, I lurk on these threads a lot and every now and again I post if I can help put peoples minds at rest. I think you all do a wonderful job and it takes really special people to adopt.

The obvious one to watch for is quite ironic given the jist of this thread, but lots of adopted people don't take rejection easy.
I don't understand why some do and don't, especially if from similar cases.
Sometimes the simplest rejection can really upset me, yet normally I have a cast iron hide, according to dh.

[Buster510]

Thank you for posting morethan, lovely to hear from your side :)

[dibly]

A further update, we've been getting some help from camhs, but LO ironically is super clingy during these sessions! Things feel a little better, less rejection, more fun and games, but she still struggles with eye contact with me, and still courts attention, but is easier to distract now. However last week she did call a random person mummy (a stranger walking past in ikea) so we're still concerned. We've been offered to go on the safe base parenting programme, which I'm definitely going to do - has anyone else done this and did it help?

Also we've been told that at 16m LO is too young for theraplay - is this right?

[Italiangreyhound]

Dibly no advice from me but just wanted to say well done in persevering to get help for your little one. This is so much the stuff of parenting (being there for their needs) and i hope realising that can help you cope with any sadness over the 'issues/problems' at the moment. In the words of that very annoying SMA advert

You're doing great.