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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Drawing the line during home study...

87 replies

wonderinglots · 06/11/2013 18:49

Have NC'd for this.

We are well into our home study. During our home study we have done many things (including modifications to our home) that we didn't necessarily agree with, but did 'for the greater good' and have talked about countless things that we think only had a tenuous link to being relevant in our quest to adopt.

We are now being asked to do something that I fundamentally disagree with - My view is that the thing we are being asked to do is Orwellian. DH is fairly 'meh' about it. Any resistance to doing it will be seen as not being committed to the process (rather than the objection to the principal of being asked to do it - which is what this most definitely is).

We have been told not doing this is a deal breaker in our application so I'm not even sure why I'm posting this as we have no choice....

Have any of you have 'drawn the line' and refused to do something during home study? If so, what was the outcome?

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wonderinglots · 14/03/2014 21:07

All

I wanted to come back and give one last update.

We stood our ground and refused. We weren't confrontational but we were resolute. Our agency backed down from their request.

We went to panel a few weeks back and it wasn't raised. In fact, the panel chair acknowledged that we'd had a (more than usual) challenging process and that our commitment to adoption was clear. They thanked us for our tenacity.

We were approved unanimously.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this thread and encouraged us/reassured us.

I can honestly say without your advice and guidance we would have caved in at the request. And doing so would have been totally for the wrong reasons. We will not renew the sperm storage agreement when it comes up for renewal next month. For the right reasons.

Thank you, everyone. You may sometimes think you simply type words on a screen, but they have real impact.