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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Spoke to my birth mother after 42 years..

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squeakytoy · 25/09/2012 21:47

As the title says really. I just need to post this somewhere and this seemed the right place.

I always knew I was adopted, it was never a secret or really something that bothered me.

But natural curiosity always made me wonder about my biological mother. My mum (adopted one but she will always be mum to me) died 4 years ago, my dad died 19 years ago, and as I had no siblings, I felt rather lost in the world, so my curiosity stepped up a level and I thought I would try and find the woman who had given birth to me. It was luckily quite easy thanks to the power of the internet.

I had also been looking in the wrong country for the last decade when I made my half hearted searches, so no wonder I hit a dead end.

Anyway, I found her, right name, right age, living in the USA. And after a few glasses of wine last week, I just rang the number.

She answered.

Probably the most awkward stumbling introduction of my life, and I feel a bit bad for just springing the call on her, but hey, I figured she has had 42 years to wonder if one day I might just find her.

Well, we spoke for an hour, and I now dont feel like I have a missing piece of my personal jigsaw. She is going to write to me and send me photos.

The next night I also had a phone call from her neice, who is older than me by a few years and had always known of my existence. She said my BM was so utterly thrilled to have heard from me. She has spent the last year battling cancer and just been given the all clear, and hearing from me was her dream come true (thankfully!!).

That was last Thursday, and I have felt so wierd since then. In a good way. I always said while my parents were alive, I had no need to even find my birth mother, but after my mums death, I felt the need to find out more strongly than ever. I knew my BM would also be getting older (she is 68 now) and realised that if I kept hesitating, one day it would be too late. I am so glad that I have done it and it is so far going ok on both sides.

Thanks for reading my waffle. And if there is a better place I could have posted this, please advise me and I will ask for it to be moved.

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squeakytoy · 25/09/2012 23:32

We talked about her meeting my parents, she asked how they were, I told her they had died, we talked about my job, her job, my husband, her health, how tall we were.. just bits and bobs really, and she wanted my address, which I gave her, so that she could send me a letter and photos. I left it that I would wait for her letter then ring her again and send her some photos.

Then the next night I had a phone call from my cousin. She had rung her immediately after we spoke to tell her the news, and my cousin wanted to speak to me to let me know that I have always been known about, and they were so pleased to have me in the family and couldnt wait to get to know me, which I thought was so welcoming and sweet.

I want to know more about my birth father too, and I am sure she will tell me, but I didnt want to bombard her with too many questions on the first phone call either.

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