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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Newbies

999 replies

Italiangreyhound · 12/09/2012 01:36

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

OP posts:
Choccyjules · 31/07/2013 22:42

The new guidelines I've had copies of from the agencies (came into law 1st July) say six months from signing up with an agency and being accepted by them to going to panel. That's where I got Feb from.
It seems you now sign up, then they do references and medicals (part 1 = 2 months) then if you carry on, they do prep and home study (part 2 = 4 months) then panel. Very quick compared to the stories I have read over the years.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 01/08/2013 02:24

mow choccy I am obviously behind the times.

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twinklemumtp · 05/08/2013 10:49

Hello am new to this site but not new to adoption!
I have read and posted on a couple of threads and you all seem really friendly Grin so I hope you don't mind me introducing myself!

DH and I adopted AS 7 years ago when we was 16mths our adoption story is a success and is a lovely adorable boy.

We look at his lifestory book regularly and he is very proud of being adopted. SO much so he has spoken to other children in foster care who are going to be adopted to tell them how wonderful it is.

We were approved in April 2013 to adopt again Smile so we are now waiting.

It is hard second time around as there is more to consider and we have had to change our lifes completely to meet the requirements of our chosen LA (long story) But we are happy with changes and ready to welcome new LO in to our lifes.

Ok sorry for essay but that is us now time for a Brew Grin

Choccyjules · 05/08/2013 15:31

Hi Twinklemum and congrats on being approved for a second time! Your DS must be excited about the prospect of a sibling. Is your LA doing all the searching or do you also look?

Choccyjules · 05/08/2013 16:02

Gonna put this here rather than start a new thread.

Am SO excited about tomorrow - we're going to an info. evening...I know, overreacting eh?! It just feels like we're finally starting to do something constructive towards the coming journey. We may not even go with this LA (are considering three) but it'll hopefully be food for thought.

Promise not to get so excited about meeting a second LA next week (I will)!

twinklemumtp · 05/08/2013 21:25

Hi Choccyjules
Hope your info evening goes well. It is worth looking at the different LA's and asking them what kind of children they currently have in care and their process as they all work differently. We originally met 2 different social workers from LA and went with the person we liked the most even though they weren't our assessing SW.

DS is very excited looking forward to being a big bro. When our assessment started we were told we would be matched quickly and the LA had children waiting since being apporved all these children seem to have dissapeared and there are no young children locally. So we have been proactive and have actually found a LO on Be My Parent. We have had all her details and now our social worker has to do some work and organise talks with her sw.

Good luck it can be a long journey full of ups and downs but we feel it is worth it xx

Choccyjules · 05/08/2013 22:05

Thanks Twinklemum.

Can I ask, did you look for the opposite sex to your DS or was it more the right child? We have a DD and while she is obsessed with girls I wonder if it will cause less stress if we looked for a DS.

RainbowLady83 · 06/08/2013 06:44

I'm new here but not need to the process, we are currently waiting for Baby Girl to move in - 5weeks!MP is at the end of this month. I love talking so if anyone wants a chat, here or pm, go for it :)

twinklemumtp · 06/08/2013 20:14

Hi RainbowLady Welcome! Grin
Very exciting news that you are waiting for baby girl. Always up for a chat Smile

Choccyjules we are approved for either sex as we always said if we had our own biological children we couldn't choose the sex, but we felt that there would be less competition with a girl. We have looked at a couple of boys profiles but both us and SW didn't feel it was right but as soon as we saw the little girl we knew it was right! Smile

Choccyjules · 07/08/2013 11:25

Thanks Twinklemum. I love your reasoning about not choosing the sex!

So last night we went to meet our first LA. It was a small group as it was August. The SWs were incredibly relaxed and honest and we both came away feeling positive about them. Had a chat about my two medical issues and they were cool about them, hooray. DH and I both commented later that it hadn't been as offputting as we'd expected (lots of people write about LAs being negative at this point to put less committed people off). In fact there was none of that, they treated everyone as though they may go forward. The only thing missing was the adoptive parents' view, which we had been expecting.

Anyway, they are coming out to do an initial visit, then we decide whether to sign up with them. Apparently the only reason they wouldn't take someone on at that point (if SW happy with your potential) is if the manager feels caseloads don't allow them to travel to your area. So it could all stop at that point and there's nothing to give us a clue about that. I thougt if they'd invited us last night they would have already looked at where we live!

So next week we meet the second LA.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 11/08/2013 13:15

twinklemumtp hi and welcome. Congratulations on being approved again. How lovely your DS has had the chance to tell other kids how wonderful it is.

I know it is nosy but am really curious when you say It is hard second time around as there is more to consider and we have had to change our lifes completely to meet the requirements of our chosen LA (long story) But we are happy with changes and ready to welcome new LO in to our lifes. Please do share or PM me if you would be willing to share.

We are waiting to be approved to adopt and we have an 8 year old birth daughter. Our house is the one we have lived in ever since she was 18 months old and aside from tripping over a cushion and falling onto a coffee table and biting her lip, it has been accident free. However, our social worker required quite a few small changes to make the house 'safer' some of which seemed a bit OTT but we want the new child to be as safe as our DD has been and we have no idea how they will behave so might be more 'adveturous' than our present child.

How exciting about 'Be my parent'. Glad to see it has been useful.

Choccyjules glad to hear your open evening was good, was it all you hoped for? On to the next one.

You asked the exact question on my mind! We have a DD and she would like a sister if it is a child but a brother if it is a baby! Confused. Of course I don't want DD to make the decision but I would like to find a child who will be able to fit into the family with the least problems for the child and for DD and wonder if a boy or girl would do that. I can see benefits and problems both way.

RainbowLady83 Hi and welcome.

OP posts:
Inthebeginning · 12/08/2013 08:52

Hi everyone,
choccy really glad it went well, hello to other newcomers.
We have got a lady from a local authority coming to see us tomorrow. She said she would prefer to come and see us rather than just talk to one of us on the phone. So I am currently scrubbing the house from top to bottom!!
In my heart of hearts I know my weight is going to be a problem. From the 5 stone I lost I have put about 2 stone back on. So I need to start the regime again ready for my health check. I just don't want it to put us back and I feel I've let us down by it happening. We shall see.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 13/08/2013 02:01

Hey Inthebegining let's encoourage each other. I need to lose wieght too.

OP posts:
Laurahopeforus · 13/08/2013 18:59

Hey everyone waves nervous newbie here :)

My hubby and I made the decision not long ago that we were going to look into adoption, after spending about 5 and 1/2 years trying for own own and getting constant 'no's and heartache we decided now was the time to take the next step. So we have been doing bits of research here and there over the past month or 2, and have decided that when we come back off our holiday in september we will be making the phone calls and starting whatever paperwork needs to be done.

I'm so scared and nervous but I know we can do this together. I have even set up a whole new email and facebook account just so I can speak in privacy with other ladies/families out there, at the moment we have told my parents and a couple of close friends we have just got to break the news to the husbands side of the family about our choice (hoping it all goes well when we get around to it!)

Looking forward to meeting some lovely new people and getting any help and advice :)
(So sorry for such an extended explanation/introduction lol)

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 13/08/2013 21:54

Welcome Laura.

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Inthebeginning · 14/08/2013 11:25

italian that would be fab, so far I have been eating healthy again for two days (I know that low carb/weight watchers works for me so it's easy to slip back into it) and done my half an hour exercise today too.
We had an amazing meeting with a social worker yesterday. We are still on cloud nine. It was so positive and practical. She said there and then that she wants us to apply to them and has a part one course we can go on either in September or October.
We have got a meeting booked with another for beginning of September but we are very tempted to go with the first as we were so happy with them

Inthebeginning · 17/08/2013 22:47

We've filled out our forms and are posting them on Monday. I feel sick/scared/excited.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 17/08/2013 23:11

Wonderful news Inthebeginning.

OP posts:
Choccyjules · 18/08/2013 13:26

Ooh Inthebeginning am pleased for you taking the next step!

To be honest, I'm a bit like you in that I liked the first LA (we both did), the second was disappointing and although we meet the third one this week, my mind is already presuming we will go with the first one.

I have to try and focus on this week's meeting to give the third one a chance!

Choccyjules · 19/08/2013 18:19

Right, that's me all confused!

I would love to hear people's experiences of going with a LA or a VA and your reasons for that, as that's a major part of our decision now.

Inthebeginning · 19/08/2013 23:39

Hi choccy,

My friend has adopted 2 children, and she said you will" just know" which we did about the la we are going with but I also checked there ofsted report and these which I found put my ind at rest to why we were happy with the one we had chosen. Have you seen your third one then?

Choccyjules · 20/08/2013 09:27

Hi, yes we saw them yesterday.
The LA was very positive, has more children than adopters (but keen to point out they don't restrict adopters to these, depends very much on a good match) but is a bit of a drive away. Fine with my medical history too.
The VA of course has no children but puts approved adopters on the NAR straight away (access to a wider but potentially more complex field) and according to others is very strong on post-adoption support, something I suppose an LA could fall down on depending on funding. My medical history would slow them down though, initially, as they want me to have my medical first and see if their medical advisor wants further checks/references.
So we like them both a lot and there are plus and minus points to each. Have discounted the other (closer and bigger!) LA. Ofsted keener on the VA but both reports two years old and they had different team managers then.

Choccyjules · 20/08/2013 09:28

Thank you for the Adoption Maps link, I will have a good look now.

prumarth · 20/08/2013 09:39

Hi everyone, I'm new here and had a (probably daft!) question. A few of you have talked about which local authority you will go with. Do you not have to use the one you live in?? And why would they be different - is the process different with different LA?

Choccyjules · 20/08/2013 09:51

Hello, no you don't have to use the one you live in, they will assess people at a set distance or driving time from their offices (some say 50 miles, others say an hour's drive).
We were recommended by a colleague to look at a neighbouring LA; they are a small place with a lot of children in care, so need to find adopters from outside their border.
When we started doing this a few weeks ago (have just had initial interviews with three agencies) we were advised by adopters to check out a few agencies and find one we felt happiest with. We're now at the stage where we have to make a decision who to apply to.

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