Newbies

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

Bertie that's fantastic news How exciting for your! It is such a major thing isn't it. You have every right to feel as excited as you are.
choccy it must be very frustrating. If you have already signed a form and they have sent you the first thing back then I would think you had been accepted from that date?

We've had our welcome pack through this morning for our course. So exciting.
It does all feel like it's going very smoothly at the moment ....a bit too smoothly!

My LA haven't told me the dates of any courses or anything. Is that normal? I've only just sent in the form but I'm now worried that we might have missed out on the start of a course so something...

And VA versus LA? I think the word on the street is that sometimes VAs have more 'difficult to place' children because they're doing it on behalf of LAs. But then there are plenty of people here I think who found children who wouldn't fit that through VAs so maybe call and speak to some and see. No VA we contacted would assess us because of the age of our BC.

Look at Ofsted?

I contacted our LA beccause someone on here recommended them

no namechange don't worry. We got told it's when our la's social worker came to see us (when we'd first enquired) because there were only two before Christmas and they wanted to get us on them. But I think some people don't get told before they are fully signed up and into stage one.

I've read through what our course will be and I am starting to get a bit stressy. Think it's because I'm used to things not happening that now it is. ...I don't know!

Oh good thanks

I know what you mean about stressy. The other day DH and I had a conversation which was practically word for word one we had before starting all this only this time it was me going 'What if it all goes wrong' and him going 'Look let's get going with the assessment and then we'll have the information to make the right decision' whereas it had been the other way round.

It feels like a scarily big decision.

hi all, how are things going? We have three out of four days of our training next week. This week is dragging but I'm also feeling very apprehensive.

Hi,
We seem to get forms to sign and return most days, for the LA to do searches on us via the NSPCC etc.
Have started to fill our medical forms in and have done family tree and support networks.
SW coming next week for more admin.
There is certainly lots to do so it does feel as though it's moving again.
Every so often I sit back and realise there's a child at the end of this, a new member of the family, and wonder who they will be.

Inthebeginning - If your experience of the training is anything like ours, there's no need to be apprehensive. There is a lot to take in, but we had a great experience with the other prospective adopters. Sharing our life experiences with each other and learning together was very positive. It was a very mixed group in terms of ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, sexuality, etc. Plus two of the group had adoptees in their immediate family.

Hope all is well with all of us Newbies.

Just got official acceptance letter following ROI form but our appointed SW (who we haven't met - we had our interveiw with someone who was lovely) has invited us to two things - one of which we've been to and one of which could not possibly be of use given the kind of child we will be able to adopt. I say invited but it feels more like being summoned... There's also a massive mistake in the letter.

Am I wrong to have a few misgivings on this

Oh dear that sounds unfortunate but congrats on getting approved. No idea what you have been invited to? We were told we had to do a parenting course and just finished it. This was my 5 parenting course, (I have birth DD aged 9) but I loved the course and really enjoyed it.

Just let them know what the mistake is.

If you want to PM me, please do, sounds like we are in a similar boat, newly approved.

Congrats.

Namechanges, I'd have misgivings too, but for now I'd treat it as a honest mistake and just try to keep going. Given as you're signed up with them now. Or have other things happened, and your misgivings are so bad that you are considering cutting your losses and changing to someone else before going to far down the road? I suppose changing LAs/agencies only gets harder, the further along you are in the process.

We've been looking at two different LAs and the one we'd like to go with as they are better suited for us on paper, they seem to be badly organised, chaotic, keep giving us conflicting information, and make an unprofessional appearance. We're trying to decide if that is bad enough to put us off and make us go with the others, who are lovely and professional. Or if, at the end of the day, the approval process doesn't matter half as much as being matched with the right child at the end of it all, and maybe the risk of having to wait a long time for such a match. The chaotic council have the advantage there, purely by numbers, they place twice as many children per year, so it is more likely for us to be a suitable family for one of them.
Or, on the other hand, their state of chaos would mean that they are less likely to know us, and to know their children, well enough to be able to make the right kind of suggestions. Gah... I just don't know. Maybe we are over thinking this.

hi all, sounds like some difficult times at the moment. It is difficult to know which is the "right" one to go with isn't it.
I would talk to sw about it though. explain your misgivings to her.
We start course tomorrow. And then have sw coming to see us next fri to discuss going into stage two. driving myself mad thinking that she's going to come and say no. I can't keep being this anxious all the time but things have always not worked before. So just feel it's a matter of time before this goes wrong. Not a good day.

Well don't want to out myself but let's say I've been invitied to a seminar on how your adopted child might ummmm, have to manage their own bank account (it's not that). But we're only eligible for children of 0-2 and it just worries me that she hasn't actually read our form...

We're only approved to go onto stage 1 btw, not approved

Anyway I spoke to her in the end and sorted out a few things. She seemed nice on the phone. Maybe she's just really busy and hadn't in fact read our form. I suppose that's OK. And maybe she doesn't communicate well in writing.

But this bit of Meita's post

Or, on the other hand, their state of chaos would mean that they are less likely to know us, and to know their children, well enough to be able to make the right kind of suggestions.

that struck a chord with me. What if? It all feels really important to get it right. What if we get it wrong?

And Inthebeginning you will be fine - I was right before despite being a random internet stranger - trust me

Hi newbies! Just popped in to give you an encouraging wave and say I hope you're not finding the process too gruelling.

I sat beside my little one as she fell asleep tonight and she kept patting my hand and murmuring, I love you Mummy. It really was all worth it.

Thanks, Devora

me too :)

Sorry to hear that there is such a lot of difficult decisions at the moment , it's such a massive life event and I hope that all concerns can be sorted soon .
We have decided to use our LA as we got on very well with the SW who visited us last week and they have an outstanding OFSTED, also distance with the VA was going to be an issue. We received our registration of interest pack on Friday and I'm dropping it off today(keen!!). I've also told my manager, who was so lovely we both cried!!! So onwards and upwards and best of happiness to everyone else, we will all get there and reading Devoras message just tops it all beautifully!

Yes feeling good this morning. Have been talking to my referees and it's a conversation I haven't yet had with them which touches on fertility etc. so have been really nervous.

Just got back from speaking to my neighbour who I know has been wondering for a couple of years why DC2 hasn't made an appearance yet and she said 'I can't think of anyone who would be better at this. I'm so happy for you'.

Really glad, such a relief to be actually talking about it, and what a lovely thing to say [tears up a bit like Bertiebassettsbelly]

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Why?

Do you need or ?

You okay MrsBW?

Bless you both!

Without getting into too much detail; found out that our panel date has been delayed - for the third time.

I have had lots of and

I know, I know - it will be nothing compared with the stress of bringing up binlids. Or, at least that is what I will tell myself tomorrow.

But for tonight, I am most dischuffed; and having a full on pity party.

sounds good. Sorry to hear about the delay - it's crap isn't it, when this kind of thing happens. Hopefully you have a new date soon.

It will all be worth it - that's what I told myself when we faced delays (due to DD's SW cocking up!). You will get there in the end, and will help in the meantime :)

How unbelievably frustrating for you.

And not great practise for having kids.

Great practise for that would be if your SW came round and said 'Want you to go to panel' and you said 'OK then.' and she said 'NO NO NO! WON'T GO TO PANEL!' and then lay on the ground screaming and sobbing.