Just ranting - feel free to come join

[Lilka]

A woman on the other forum asked advise on what to do, because the mother of her kids biological sibling isn't going to tell him he is adopted.
And so people leap in with support....and then another poster says they haven't told their children because nothing good can come of it. Her kids are school age. Another poster agrees and says they aren't planning to tell their kids either!!

WHY WHY WHY do people still DO this in this day and age?? For God's sake, what good can come out of NOT telling them

Okay, rant over. I did post back. But I just don't understand. Poor kids.
My mood tonight is not good anyway, because DD2 is in a state right now, after a really bad week. I really needed to get this out. Thanks for listening x

You got it .

Yes, dp gets less of being the nanny. What I get - which is new - is a bit more attention from odd men when I'm with dd2. I think they see me with one white and one black child (or indeed with one black child) and think I'm a bit of a goer. I honestly think this is what it's about - a weird sexualised racialised thing.

It makes me feel like drawing myself to my full height and saying, "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I am an extremely respectable middle-aged suburban mother. I do NOT get jiggy with black gentlemen. Only black ladies (or one in particular)."

Well acoording to one thread on mumsnet, using the title Ms apparently indicates that you are an ugly lesbain or a man hating embittered divorcee. So you only need to say" its mizzz hester to you" and that should do the trick

Oh and while we are on the subject dd and her gf have been looking at engagement rings

Sorry to hijack your thread lilka. Hope you are surviving " time in". Not fun

Rant away Mary, it makes you feel so much better! Any other ranters welcome!

re the survey, I remember some people were upset with the last American census because it distinguished between biological daughter/son and adopted daughter/son when filling in the relationships bit. Some APs were even thinking about putting their kids down as biological children instead

hester - we are all white, but there are several interacial families near me, and one mum in particular always gets stared at because she's white and she has three children all very different skin tones. I know it upsets her. I vote going with Kristina's suggestion personally

Right now, we are all curled up watching Children in Need. One morning meltdown, nothing more yet (keeps fingers crossed). One bowl of rice looking very out of place in my bedroom! One tired mum wants bed...

Has anyone else noted that that Charlie Gilmore keeps being referred to as David Gilmore's adopted son?

The boy is what - 19-20? Its not like he was adopted three weeks ago so it might just be a point of interest.

FFS.

I'm mizzz hester and dp is Mummy.

No, not really. I am Mummy (or Mum) and dp is Mama. We were always open to alternatives, but both dc happy with this. Legally, we are equal and full parents of dd2. However, dp has no legal relationship with dd1. She cannot adopt her because dd1 has an involved father who understandably is not prepared to sign away his own parenthood, which is what he would have to do. We will get civilly partnered soon, and a parental responsibility order, which will improve her legal position but she cannot ever be an equal parent in the eyes of the law .

Mrs DV, yes I did notice that and fumed. But I have to take this opportunity to ask: what the HELL is happening to the erection in your neighbour's garden?

Funny you should ask that Hester....
Got an email from planning this week. I have met planning man and he is a nice chap, very friendly. But his emails always sound really sinister.

This one said 'I am contacting you to inform you that I have not finished my investigations into this matter. Do you have any relevant information that may help me with my enquiries?'

Then he went on a bit about the fecking fence that is STILL there.
So I told him that although I couldnt possibly tell him that people were living in it, the lights were on when I went to bed at night and they had at least two new people living in the house.

Good to know they are still on the case. Far as I am concerned, the more money the spend on it, the more furniture they move in, the better

Ah, so it's finished and furnished then? Any sign of gym equipment? Any sign of beds?

Ha hester, you are making an honest woman of her after all these years

Oh goody, a big fat lesbian weddig thread to cheer us up. So much potential in two brides AND two mini bridesmaids.

Dont bother saying you werevplanning a small ceremony withbyour closest friends and lunch in the pub, this will not do.

Mre devere, what the heck are you talking about? What have i missed???

Kristina have you been living in a shed for the last 5 months? how the hell did you miss my two whole threads on the subject?

The only gym fing is a cheap excercise bike they carried in very ostentatiously a few months ago.

OOOOOOOOOO a wedding!

There is absolutely no chance of keeping it small and discreet, I'm afraid. I have tried, but been outvoted by the other females in the house. dd1 is obsessed with the eye-wateringly expensive bridal boutique in our high street, and determined that she will design our outfits. dp sees a fine opportunity to justify some new Jimmy Choos. There will be none of this 'both brides wore tuxes' stuff - it will be full on femmezilla frockarama. That is, if we can find a way to pay for it. I'm thinking: save money on venue (registry office then back to our place), yummy buffet made by friends and family, nice dress but no more than £200, none of that partyfavoursarrangedflowersposhphotographer nonsense, then we can afford to invite a cast of thousands

Well Jell.

Its been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages since I got married.

oh that sounds fab hester. you must be like mary portas and have some well known designer fly in from the states to run you up a frock. for under £200 of course. while Dp will have to wear a bin bag as no change from the budget after buying jimmy choos

and i will have a chance to gen up on double bride wedding etiquette before Dds

sorry, i have indeed been in a shed for months. v busy at work etc blah blah blah excuses excuses

mrs de vere, we havent been to any weddings for ages either. we are too old to have friends getting married, they either have already or are never going to

but we are officially middle aged now as neice and nephew getting married next year and now another invite in the post today for feb 2012. are hats back in fashion yet or is it still these fluffy fascinator thingies?

No point in asking me - I am middle age too.

don't care if hats are in fashion or not - borrowed a discretely ostentatious hat for friends daughters glam wedding in the summer an coupled it with my grandmothers 50 year old fur stole, that I thought was fake but turns out not... . Will line up rich sister for hat borrow again...

I'm middle aged too, but that's not going to stop me!
Maryz, yes we have a pretty big garden. And also really nice neighbours (on both sides) who will be invited so won't mind the noise.
We actually met at a garden party - a literary ladies do full of novelists in floaty dresses playing croquet. (I kid you not - hostess was my editor and also dp's.) We were young and cute. I was wearing a pink dress and she was wearing a frilly little white number [goes misty eyed]. So it might be nice to have a re-run - only, you know, this time the literary ladies will be replaced by suburban mums, I will be wearing support pants and the croquet will be replaced by rioting nippers

Lol at support pants. How we used to snigger at our mothers in their pantie girdles and corselettes....

Love the meetimg at a garden party bit, how romantic. Like brideshead for girlies

Tee hee, all the posh people coming out the closet now

My great-grandparents were very posh too. Sadly they were German Jews and those that did get out weren't allowed to take any money with them.

However, me and my mum still speak with cut glass accents (and kept it up all through the council flat and free school dinners years) in the vain hope that someone somewhere will recognise that we are actually supposed to be living in Hampstead mansions, and restore us to our former glory

My paternal side is generations of peasantry, but I keep a bit quieter about that...