Do adopted children have the right to meet their bio-relatives during their childhood?

[wasthatthatguy]

I think the answer to this question is clearly yes.

Social workers got rid of the child's bio-parents, but they did not, and were not entitled to, get rid of all of the child's bio-relatives.

Is it not the duty of the child's adoptive parents to discover the circumstances of the child's removal from his or her bio-family and, unless there are very compelling reasons why the child should not be allowed direct contact with them, arrange contact meetings?

Due to the privacy of the family courts, any social workers will be unable to tell adoptive parents the details of how the bio-parents were alleged to have failed as parents.

Although there have to be reasons why a child was forcibly adopted, it isn't essential that the child was harmed before adoption. A fear that the child may be harmed in the future is sufficient.

I think adoptive parents will find that in at least 50% of cases the alleged and "proven" actual or predicted parenting failures will not appear very alarming and thereby not make contact meetings between the child and his or her bio-parents and or other bio-relatives inappropriate.

Thank you so much for taking me seriously, I think I'm getting better at expressing myself the situation that happened.
Your posts have been a great read.
I asked for respite from social services, called them,m said I'm not coping, I need a break, when my baby was 5 months old, as I'd blacked out at college I think due to stress, I was exhausted and it felt like my son was crying continiously, I was in such a bad place, I was so over tired one night I picked up baby oil thinking it was his bottle and nearly fed it to him, I called them and said I needed a break please take him for a few days.
I had trouble tracking him down, I went to them I'd just turned 16, I said is there any chance I can be placed in fostercare with him, so I have help. I was so isolated at home alone.
They said I'm 16 they have no responsibility for me, and I can visit my son everyday while they observe, well they kept cutting down the hours I could see him, saying there's not enough staff. I said I want him back plenty of times, I even asked what would they do if I just got up and took him home, because obviously I wanted to do that. They said they'd call the police and get a care order. They wouldn't give me my child back and were critising everything I did. I started self harming, regretfully, just minor scratches, but I didn't hide it and then they held a meeting a said they're getting the intrim care order and he's going to be adopted.
This was 10 years ago. 2011
I got the lawyer, we went to a mother and baby unit, the manager said she'd be hapopy to have us there, I thought we were fionally getting somewhere close to me being reuinited with DS, manager said she'd come to court. The child gaurdian came out to visit me and asked me if I wanted my child and I said of course, I'm trying to get him back, and she said okay she'll support me in court and told the judge I needed to be given a chance.
She got shot down in court, and I remember her arguing 'of course I don't mean for the child to just go straight back, but with support', they said no.
Most tragic moment of my life.
I was terrible in court I got up on that stand and didn't say a word for myself really. I just didn't know what to do or say. If it happened now I would be kicked some ass in there standing up for myself, but back then, I just didn't know what the hell to do. And that makes me think that if I couldn't even stand up and fight properly for my son back then, then maybe I wasn't good enough to care for him and protect him.

Thanks for listening

yukoncher, I'm sorry, that must have been unbelievably traumatic. You sound like a very strong and sussed young woman now: you have a child now, is that right? Did your family support you through all this? Have you maintained any kind of contact with your son?

Thanks, I can see the other side to it, because I've seen it around me. I know of one case that comes to mind where the child I think would have suffered a lot less if just adopted after the first saga of neglect.

With me, I have a 4yr old, I was married when I had him, but went through the seperation and everything. I spent 2 and a half years with it being just me and my son, he's absolutely my world, everything revolved around him. Met my partner, and we had another son, who's now 1. So now I have two boys. My older one seems to having Autism and is more of a handful than usual.
The supportive relationships I have now, such as just visiting and staying in touch, is from my younger siblings, whom I'm very much involved with. Back when I had my first son, my siblings were children.
My partner is a massive help, he's a really good dad to our kids.

~The adoption of my first child went through in 2002, they said if I had a baby within 3 yrs they can come and take it from the hospital at birth.
I got married in 2006, 4 years later, and was finally in a 'safe' time frame (post 3 yrs) to have a baby. A baby I absolutely wanted to dedicate my life to and prove them all wrong.
We even moved to the USA to avoid Social services because I was terrified.
I decided England is better, we came back, before seperating.
I've never gone back to my home town, now I'm a mum, because I couldn't trust SS there at all.
We have them involved here, for DS's special needs, but that's all (they don't ask to see my younger child on theyre visits, so that assures me theyre being truthful about why theyre involved.

Maryz, what does relinquished mean? is it given up for adoption?
what trouble does your child have with the adoption?

It's a shame some people think even telling a doctor about depression risks you losing your child. I don't think that's necessarily true that that would happen

Yukoncher, you sound very grounded :)

I would actually like to have a discussion about cases where things aren't so clear etc, and it's such a shame that if you try it gets spoiled by people who don't hear what other people have to say.

Incidently, an interesting fact..in some areas of the USA, they already have jury trials to terminate parental rights, if the parents so request. It's up to the parents whether to have a jury trial, or whether to have a court like we do here, with just a judge (as long as they request within a time limit). However, from speaking to foster carers on the other board I'm a member of, parents aren't doing this. Nearly all of them choose to have a judge and no jury. Maybe that's because they don't want their lives aired in open court, or maybe because they do have a ridiculous rule about open adoptions and trials, that says if you win a jury trial you get the kids back, if you lose it you not only lose the kids, you are also forbidden from having any contact with the children. You can only have an open adoption if you went for the judge alone. Which I think is stupid, but there you go. The only parents opting for a jury are those who think the judge is against them, and impartial. But in those cases, the jury terminated rights anyway. So there don't actually seem to be a lot of borderline cases. There are some, where the jury find in the parents favour, but not a lot at all. Which sort of puts a bit paid to this ridiculous massive conspiracy theory which is applied to the US as well as the UK, that half of children shouldn't be adopted

... sorry, gatecrashing the Adoption board. Came here from In The News out of sheer nosiness.

Um, I know that the OP is well known to MNHQ, and seems to namechange with alacrity, but has anyone here ever informed his Party? Perhaps Alastair Carmichael (Lib Dem MP, Deputy Chief Whip to HoC, this probably comes under his disciplinary remit)? That a serving MP can come onto this sort of forum, where parents are seekng support and disinterested information, and troll, seems to beggar belief. I'm sure the relevant officers in his party would be interested.

(disclaimer: I am not trying to smear the OP for political reasons, in fact I've been known to vote for his party in the past. )

Re-shape - do you know the identity of the OP (whowasthatguy) or something similar. There is another Lib Dem MP John Hemmings who regularly posts about forced adoption and the conspiracy between all concerned with care proceedings (even the judge) and social workers and lawyers and a family law barrister have been incensed by his ridiculous posts and I have complained to Nick Clegg about him (giving exact quote) and I didn't even have the courtesy of a reply. I wondered if this was JH? He claims it isn't and in fairness he does usually post in his own name, but the OP sounds suspicously like him, peddling the same sort of rubbish.

I presumed it was JH tbh. SHouldn't I have done?

Well who knows?? I find it hard to believe there are 2 unhinged blokes out there. JH was on another adoption thread but after a lot of posters had discovered the judgement from a high court judge Wall LJ severely criticising JH, and the fact that he (JH not the judge!) had put himself forward as "Love rat of the year" and his failure to answer any of the questions I put to him, as I knew he wouldn't have a hope in hell of answering.

As I said JH has angered many of us involved in care proceedings and he has an axe to grind related to a personal experience, which he always denies of course.